Thursday, April 12, 2018

Ella's Lucky Gamble

So much has changed for me in the last several years, and this month is 3 years since I published my first post.   Three candles on my Blog Cake!  But it was the summer of 2014, almost a year before, when I told Sam who I really was on an August morning.  It was scary, but I had made the decision to "play the game."  To take a chance when the cards were dealt.  To hope for the best.

When we come to an anniversary, it seems natural to look back at how far we've come and then to look forward to what we hope will happen in the future.

An anniversary is really any date that we celebrate annually.  If it is the first day of a new year, we might want to make a resolution.  Something we want to accomplish or a bad habit we want to eliminate.  If it is a birthday, ours or that of a loved one, we blow out candles and eat cake and sing.  As we get older, we wonder where the hell the years have gone and thank our lucky stars for the gift of health.  We pick up the cards in front of us and make the choice of what to keep and what to throw away.

When I thought about Ella turning 3 years old, I felt humbled by all the wonderful life experiences that have come my way since I took that first big gamble.  That "First Hello."  I have to think there was some fate involved; otherwise, how could plain, old me have ever been so lucky.  I am not a person who hits the jackpot when I visit Vegas, but somehow ttwd dealt me a Royal Flush.  For those of you who don't know your poker hands, that's a ten, Jack, Queen, King, and Ace, all of the same suit.  Make it hearts, I think, for all the love and happiness that has come my way.

The Ace of Hearts gave me the gift of spanking.  For those of us that have ached for that to be in our lives since we were old enough to have memories, it is a precious gift.  It took a basic love story between a man and a woman and set it on a higher plane.  Something so special between us that I would never have dreamed it could happen to me.

The King of Hearts is Sam, of course.  He is my king and the love of my life.  He listened and learned and he did it even though he couldn't understand why it was so important to me.  Sometimes just thinking of the affection and the selflessness that takes just leaves me in awe.  It brings me such joy to see how Sam has embraced his new role and how much personal satisfaction it brings him.  That was a wild card I never expected.

If Sam is my king, then I am his queen.  He treats me that way now, and he makes me feel cherished.  I will never know why I have this need to be spanked, but I can tell you that, for me, it has so much to do with feeling loved.  When he puts me over his knee or over the bed and makes it known that he is in charge, I am overwhelmed by the feeling that I am his, that I am safe, that I am fulfilled.  The rest of the world falls away.

"If you're gonna play the game, boy, ya gotta learn to play it right."

                                     And Sam surely did. 

If you are playing straight Draw Poker, you really shouldn't have but 5 cards in your hand, but my blog has really stacked the deck when it comes to friends.  The Jack of Hearts is a generous and funny soul and has dealt me some of the loveliest friendships of my entire life.  Before that first post, I was just so happy to know there were other women out there like me.  Never dreamed I would hold all those cards so close to my heart.  All of you who read or comment here add up to the biggest center pot I have ever won.  You make me feel like a very rich woman.

   There's just one more card I need to mention.  The ten of Hearts.  

          "It's knowin' what to throw away and knowing what to keep." 

For me, the final card has to be the joy I have found in writing.  It had been so many years since I had written for pleasure, that I think I forgot how good it makes me feel.  Good for my head and my heart and my soul.  It's a way to communicate concretely with people.  It leaves a record of the love and the sorrow, the good days and bad.  Sometimes you're a winner; sometimes you're a loser.  

                       But it's how you play the game that counts. 



  1. Dear Ella,
    Such a wonderful post...Happy Anniversary, and may there be many more

  2. Oh, Ella,
    Happy # 3. In every way, I am so glad you are here. You love writing your posts and I love reading your posts. I have a feeling that you will celebrate this special time in a very special way.

  3. Happy 3rd anniversary...I love your analogy, you are such a talented and creative writer. I never expected all the blessings of friendship I have received while blogging, I mostly just thought I would have an 'electronic diary'...Looking forward to reading and learning much more from you...hugs abby

  4. Hi Ella,

    Wow, what a truly awesome post and reflection on your ttwd and blogging journey! Congratulations on three years, Happy Anniversary! I'm so glad you decided to blog. It's always a joy to visit, your writing is a pleasure to read.

    I never expected to make the wonderful friendships I have through blogland, and I'm so happy to call you a friend.

    Hope you and Sam have a wonderful celebration :)


  5. Happy 3rd anniversary Sam and Ella. Its been wonderful reading your posts over the past 3 years and getting to know you more. I agree I've made so many wonderful friends through blogging.
    Hope you have many more happy spanky years to celebrate.
    Hugs Lindy xx

  6. Happy Anniversary Ella. Three years of blogging is amazing in my books, good for you. I’m thrilled that you enjoy writing because I very much enjoy reading here.
    I have to agree with you, finally being able to live ttwd is truly a jackpot, one that satisfies me in every way. I believe we have both been dealt that Royal Flush and I’m forever grateful for it.
    Congratulations on your blog and the many beautiful, insightful, and entertaining posts. May there be many more!

  7. What a beautifully written post, Ella ... and Happy 3rd Blogiversary! I'm sure the time has flown by ... hugs ... nj

  8. Congratulations on your third Blogiversary, Ella, I love reading here. I thought I’d hit the jackpot too, when Harry finally agreed to spank me, but I never dreamed it would lead to meeting a wonderful bunch of women I now call my friends and who know the real me.
    Here’s to the power of love and friendship!
    Rosie xx

  9. Congratulations. I love how you themed this post with the cards.

    Hope you keep getting great hands for the next years of blogging!

  10. Hi Ella, :) Many, many congratulations on the anniversary of three wonderful blogging years!!! We are the lucky ones as not only have we had the pleasure of reading your beautifully written posts, but we have also had the pleasure of getting to know and love beautiful you! Thank you for writing for all of us!

    I agree with Lea, I too love how you likened blogging to hitting the jackpot, and themed your post as you did! Very special to read. I can very much relate. This is a such a special place filled with wonderful people! An unexpected treasure, and an incredible blessing! Happy Blogiversary! Many hugs and lots of love,

    ❤️Katie xoxo

  11. Three years! Congrats and isn't wonderful that you can now be the whole you instead of a partial version that had to keep a secret about what truly makes you feel loved? Oh, and thanks for the poker lesson! ;)