"What Did You Get For Christmas?"
It's the perfect question when you talk or write to friends after the 25th of December. I even remember having to compose an essay to answer that question when I was 10 years old.
"Well, let's see..."
And here's a sampling of what you might hear
as a response to that query -
- Fruit Basket
- Scarf and Gloves
- Gift Card
- Movie - DVD
- Large Tin of Popcorn
- Specialty Coffee and Mug
- Box of Candy
So when I get back to work and my colleagues ask this question, I am sure I will be able to smile and fill in the blank. When my kid sister on the east coast calls to chat, I can eagerly share all about my haul of coveted Ann Taylor LOFT gift cards. Over coffee with a friend, I can blather on about the new movie I watched curled up on the couch the night before.
The gift I won't mention to anyone except my blog friends is the one that Sam called a "private present."
Not Ready for Prime Time Gift Opening.
On the morning of Christmas Eve with so much to prepare for all the entertaining that night and the next day, Sam decided we needed to "discuss" all the bossiness that had crept back in to rear its ugly head. Off to the bedroom. Actually the topic was discussed with Mr. Paddle, I was soon listening respectfully.
|Talk to Mr. Paddle|
Not too much later, though, Mr. P. let up a bit, and there was lots of rubbing going on as well. Much better. Then I noticed a smallish package within my reach on the bed. Several months ago I had asked Santa for something "leather" this year, but this box was too small for a paddle or a crop. Mmmm...I kept sizing up the gift, and Sam kept exploring. Finally he chuckled and told me to go ahead and open it.
"And what to my wondering eyes should appear," but 3 purple butt plugs and just one tiny
Frisky's Fancy Fanny Fiddlers
Frisky's Fancy Fanny Fiddles
Francy Fisky Finnler Finger
Frisky Fiddler Faddly.....
Oh, F_ _ k!
Oh well, Sam likes that "F" word the best anyway.
Well, there were 3 graduated sizes with a small hole at the base of each fiddler. Kind of like the big Papa Bear, the smaller Mama Bear, and even a wee Baby Bear. One could insert a finger in the little hole of the size of your choice to assist you in fiddling wherever you decided to fiddle or one could choose this clever little silver vibrating bullet. As they say, variety is the spice of life. Anyway, there were all sorts of ways to fiddle in all sorts of orifices. And we tried a bunch.
Later, I remembered a terrific butt plug chat with my beach sisters last summer while we were all bobbing up and down in the water. I learned a lot from the more experienced butt plug aficionados but felt that I had little wisdom to share. If there is hopefully another trip, I feel that I will be able to participate more fully in any butt plug discussions.
We often call ttwd a "journey."
Sam has just led me down a new path where the sign reads:
Turn Left Ahead For Some Freaking Fabulous Fun!
Frisky's Famous Fancy Fanny Fiddlers!
Feel the Fever!