Tuesday, May 14, 2019

Just Thinking and Just a Little Bit Gross

Been several posts lately that have me focused on orgasms.  Not that I ever really stop thinking about them.  They always talk about how often men think about sex.  Supposedly every 7 seconds; that doesn't even sound possible.  But then I wonder about me.  It seems that I think about sex or orgasm or spanking a lot.

                                  "Try to qualify that, Ella."

                                "I don't know.  Just "A LOT."

So then, I guess, it's best to be perfectly honest.  Not all orgasms are created equal.  There's the duration and the intensity to consider.  If someone out there has another factor we should add to the mix, I hope you will share it with all of us.  I'm quite happy with the duration and the intensity.  Don't do as well if I am tired.

There is that moment right before the contractions start when you know it's coming.  I don't know if that's counted as part of the orgasm itself, but I think of it as "almost happy time!"  I did some serious orgasm research here and once the contractions start, they occur on the average at .8 second intervals.  I never thought of the speed before, but it's interesting.  For me, the contractions peak and then recede with the time between each one lengthening.  Be patient.  Be patient, Ella.  There's still one more coming, I think.  Yes-s-s-s.  Love those after shocks.

Another statistic for you.  The average length of an orgasm for a woman is 16.7 seconds while the average orgasm for a man is 25.0 seconds.  Less than ten seconds difference, but it could be argued that those are pretty important seconds.  I think that's for vanilla sex though.  With no spanking.  With no toys.  With no kink.

Probably the 16.7....(let's just round up, shall we?)  Probably the 17 seconds is for non-innovative couples.  I have questions.  If we add some spanking/kinky foreplay do the numbers change?  I say, "Yes."  If Sam and I get creative with battery-operated bedroom equipment do both the numbers 17 and 25 go up?  I say "Yes" again.  Just a little anyway.

Here's something I found when I was reading that made me feel that there are a lot of misconceptions about how the "average elderly couple" is perceived.  Kinda makes me a little angry too.

Read Research Bullshit Below!

"It should be noted that this study included men and women of all ages, and while we're sure there are a few randy grandmas and grandpas out there, the average elderly couple keep their beds apart for a reason, which could have a lot to do with all of the I-rarely-think-about-sex responses.  Also the study didn't get into the nitty gritty of 'every day or several times a day,' which is a pretty big range.  And last but not least, if a researcher asked you right now how often you think about sex, how on-target would your estimate really be?"

This quote is taken from a GQ magazine article, I could not find an author's name.

See what I mean.  By those standards, Sam and I are doing pretty damn well.  And I believe many of you would say the same thing whatever your age.  I'd love to write a randy letter to that author!

Ok, let me get back to the initial thoughts that started me writing here.  A few days ago Sam worked his fingers to the bone to make my eyes roll back into my head. (Is there a metaphor in that last sentence?) 

Anyway it was one of those orgasms that make you wonder what was its rating on the Richter Scale.  Duration??  Impressive.  Intensity??  Amazing.  But just ONE orgasm.  In my entire life, I have never had "multiple orgasms."  Scout's honor.  Have read about them.  Sam has devoted much time and effort, but a firm "no."  Has never happened to me.

But here's the part that might be a little gross.  When I experience a great orgasm in the bedroom and then head to the bathroom for a pee, I can have another shorter, more gentle orgasm just sitting on the toilet emptying my bladder.  It's very nice.  Since I've never shared this with anyone except Sam, I am damn curious if there are other women out there who have ever had this happen.  Have you ever had a mini orgasm just peeing?

Also, if you're still wondering about how often men and women think about sex, there was a study done at Ohio State University, however, the subjects were all between 18 and 25 years old.  Results said that men average 19 times each day.  Women thought about sex an average of 10 times a day.

             "So, Ella, how often do you think about sex in a day?"

                    "More than 10, for damn sure," I answered.

                                           How 'bout you? 

Sunday, April 28, 2019

Make My Day

                What Makes Your Day Start on a Good Note?

Suddenly, about 10 o'clock yesterday morning, I realized I was smiling for no particular reason.  Then I started thinking about what had happened to make me feel so happy.  I wasn't leaving on a trip.  I wasn't expecting a visit from a far-away family member or friend.  Wasn't even going out to lunch.  Just a couple of mundane, ho-hum errands was all that was on the docket.

First off, I woke up at 6:20 am of my own volition.  No alarm clock because, happily, I am retired.  My Sam was still sleeping soundly and finally feeling better after a nasty infection had kept him down for almost 10 days.  The sun was coming up on a beautiful spring morning.  I knew I might be able to work outdoors later in the day.  Soak up the sun.  When I put my coffee on, I used the special decaf breakfast brew a blogger friend of mine sent me as a little gift. Yum!

After I tidied up the kitchen, I was online with coffee in my hand.  Caught up in blogland.  Ronnie made me laugh from way across the pond.  Terps shared her wisdom and made me think and thank.  Cat had a clever quote that I decided to send on to my brother.

My sweet doggie girl reminded me that she needed to be fed.  So I added some roast beef scraps to her kibble, and she said thank you with her tail and with her eyes.  She is an old girl now and can't play the way she used to, but hell, neither can I.  She won't chase a tennis ball down the hallway anymore, but she still likes to have her chest scratched.  When she was a pup, I taught her to "stretch" on command.  Just like how we stretch coming awake in the morning.  Then she will hold that stretch position while I gently scratch my nails on her ribs.  She goes into a happy doggy place in her mind.

More coffee and turn the news on the  television.  Not to sit on the couch though.  Time for exercise.  It feels so wonderful to have my knee almost back to normal.  To feel strong enough to do my whole routine again.  The weather report looks awesome.  My weights are hidden in a copper log bin next to the fireplace for easy access.  Balance ball, resistance bands, and ankle weights.  I certainly don't love exercising, but I surely do love how it makes me feel when I'm done.

Breakfast used to be mandatory for me, but these days I have adopted the 16/8 intermittent fasting program.  Advice from another blogger friend.  I thought it would be awful to skip breakfast, but I adapted quickly.  Again, I love how it makes me feel.

Just had my hair cut and colored so I knew it was going to look its best.  I wrapped a towel around it and stepped out of the shower.  I had the feeling it was going to be a good day.

Then guess who greeted me as I hung up the towel.  Yep, Sam was feeling much better and in the mood to toast my bottom.  Oh, it was such a nice spanking. Long and stingy with lots of loving words thrown in.  A little rubbing, too, which made us both think of something else that hadn't happened in a while.  And one thing led to another.  You know.

So there I was a few hours later with this big, dumb smile on my face.  Life is good.

                       Tell me what makes your morning happy.

Thursday, April 11, 2019

Physical Therapy - The Dos and Don'ts

Hello again, friends and readers!  It's been a while since I have posted, and there is a good reason for that.  Knee replacement surgery.  I knew it was time.  That blasted knee has haunted every trip we have taken for the last 2 years.  The slightest misstep made it swell.

Even though I am a dedicated believer in exercise, there were times when I had to cut back.  When the knee swelled, there were certain pants that were pushed to the back of the closet.  No skinny jeans, that's for sure.  Not sure why, but standing was worse than walking, so it I was in a situation where I was expected to stand still, I would pace back and forth rather than stay in place.

After hearing the options for anesthesia, we chose something called a "knee block."  This choice includes a spinal and a sedative so one falls asleep for the hour long surgery.  I woke up feeling wonderful and drinking coffee in the recovery room.  The surgery went exactly as the surgeon expected, and I was up walking with a physical therapist early that evening.  Twice more the next morning before they released me to go home.

Sam was such a wonderful guy, taking good care of me.  Did all the cooking and cleanup.  Picked out an excellent BBC series to pass the time.  Brought me ice for the swelling.  Drove me to post op visits and lots of physical therapy appointments.  He also took me out for lunches whenever he thought I might be tired of being homebound.  I felt spoiled just a little bit.

Maybe I even started acting a little spoiled too.  Most times I pretty much know if a spanking is imminent.  I can read Sam's face and know if I have stepped in some doody.  His brow furrows, and he gets kind of quiet.  Then the ax falls.  But I've had fair warning.  Every once in a while, though, a spanking comes right out of the blue.  As far as I know I have been the perfect wife.  


Sam had driven me to PT that morning and waited with his Kindle in the lobby to bring me home.  Usually, following the exercise, my therapist would ice down the knee, top and bottom, for 15 minutes.  This time I promised I would apply the ice when I got home.  That was my intention as I hung up my coat and set my purse on the table. 

"You'll need to wait on that ice a little longer," Sam said.  "I think I'm gonna to take care of a little more physical therapy you need today," and reached for my hand.

"But I didn't do any....."

"Oh, but you have," he corrected and by that time we were to our bedroom.

Well, Sam was in charge of therapy now.  He pulled down the black knit pants I was wearing.  Then he arranged me over his knee on the edge of the bed and made sure my bad knee was safe and comfortable.

Apparently I had been telling him what to do and how to drive all morning.  Since I couldn't really remember my bossiness, Sam was good enough to repeat all my indiscretions.  I had to admit, there were quite a few once he had listed them for me.

There was no paddle, but his hand was very busy.  Between protests I kept thinking of my morning PT session.  All the repetitions that Sandy was putting me through.  Thirty repetitions here and 30 more there.

"Now stand on one foot and stick out your bottom a bit so your knee doesn't extend past your toes," she said.  I should have seen the foreboding there for sure!

"Okay, now for some resistance.  Let's do 5 minutes to start.  I know it's hard; just grin and bear it," she directed.  Oh, that's easy for you to say.  Just try it from my position.

Sam was putting me through my paces, and there was one big muscle that was getting mighty sore.  He finally slowed down and then did some rubbing.  His voice changed too.

"I know you don't like being less active or curbing your normal schedule.  That's the breaks, Ells."

 He helped me up and looked into my eyes.

"I will help you every step of this recuperation, but let's keep things happy and remember who's boss."

                                          Point taken, Sam.

When I finally pulled the ColPac out of the freezer, I had a moment of indecision.  There were now two places on my body that were inflamed and needed cooling down.  Knee or .....?  Mmm...?  

                                               What to do ?

Monday, March 18, 2019

Ella's Bookshelf - Returning to Us

It surely has been a long time since I have read and reviewed a new book by PK Corey.  It's always a treat when she lets her readers know about a pending publication date.  I like to clear the decks, so to speak, on my Kindle, so I am ready to begin reading as soon as I download.  Sam will ask me why I am heading to bed so early, and then nod with understanding when I say, "PK's new book came out."

This book was a brand new venture for Ms. Corey too.  Her previous 2 successful series are well-loved by me for sure.  I have read the Cassie books more times than I can now remember (think I lost track at about 8 times).  Cassie isn't just a character in a story; I love her like a friend.  The Cal and Jenny books have also pleased readers, and we are hoping for more.

                                               Here we go!

Title:  Returning to Us

Author:  PK Corey

Number of Pages:  163

Themes:  Fulfillment, Belonging, Community, Honesty

Main Characters:

Susan Michaels:  Susan and her husband have been married for 35 years, and they have grown apart.  After their 3rd child marries, Susan is convinced her husband plans to leave her.

Hal Michaels:  Although Hal began their marriage with domestic discipline, he eventually fell into a pattern of only spanking when he wanted sex.

Brent Carmichael:  One of the developers of Corbin's Bend and president of the Housing Board.  Brent handles the interview with Hal and Susan before they are accepted into the community.

Aunt Quincy:  An outgoing boho-style older woman who is Susan's mentor when she arrives in Corbin's Bend.

Jason:  Is a wise, experienced man who is assigned to be Hal's mentor when the couple moves in.

Venia:  Another author in the Corbin's Bend community.  She welcomes Susan to a Book Club and invites her to attend a writer's conference.

Corbin's Bend is an established series from Blushing Books.  The premise is simple - a community of only people that believe that domestic discipline and spanking are the pillars of a happy marriage.  (Mmmm?  There's a thought.)  The unique feature is that the collection of stories is written by different authors.  So PK has joined the ranks of this group of women with the publication of her newest book. 

I am fairly sure I have mentioned in a previous review that there is a popular theory in the study of English literature that there are only 7 Basic Plots.  It is comprehensive including everything from "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" to Great Expectations to Bridget Jones's Diary.  One of the 7 plots is called "The Quest," and by the time I got to Chapter 3 in Returning to Us, I knew it was a quest.

The protagonist(s) set out to acquire an important object or achieve a goal.  They face obstacles along the way.  In PK's book the protagonists are Susan and Hal.  When they first married, Hal took the reins with his new wife.  There was some serious discipline, and although Susan protested, she knew it was what she had always wanted and needed.  And then Hal just let things go.  She would ask, and things would improve for a while, but soon, as he says himself, "I let you down."

Sometimes Susan and Hal were their own worst enemies.

The only time she felt his hand on her ass was when he wanted sex.  "Susan vowed to herself she would never mention a domestic discipline lifestyle again."  This quote brought tears to my eyes.  It was so heartfelt, and I thought this would touch the psyche of any woman who has ached for this to be a part of her marriage.

When Hal proposes the move to Corbin's Bend, Susan wants to believe that it would be for real, but she was wary and suspicious.  At first she was just so happy to know that he still loved her.  As they unpack boxes and meet people in their new home, they both are positive and hopeful.  Hal gets involved with helping out in the community, and Susan digs into her writing.

Soon there is trouble in paradise, though, and Hal is letting things go yet again.  Susan first turns resentful and resigned and then doubts herself.  "Hal is so good...Why do I get like this?  Why do I want more from this good man?"  This was so poignant and so real.

Neither one of them is ever really honest with their mentors.  The same behaviors that kept them distant in the past surface again.  The reader recognizes the dishonesty between Susan and Hal as well, especially when Susan answers, "Nothing, Hal.  Everything is fine."  Even if there was a mild spanking, Susan said it felt like a "drive-by."

The difference this time is that they are living in a community that expects that discipline will be taken care of at home.  When Susan begins to fall apart, the consequences in Corbin's Bend are very different.

Of all the things I loved about this book, there were two that really stood out.  They both spoke volumes about how PK Corey has grown in her writing.  The dialogue is very skilled.  It's real and it flows like a great screenplay.  Finally, I will tell you that of all the books this author has written and published, this is the one in which I see a piece of PK's heart and soul.  She has put her mark on this story for sure.  It's definitely a quest that Susan and Hal have undertaken.  Hope you read this wonderful book soon and discover how the quest ends.

Monday, January 28, 2019

Slappy New Year

Have never been a person that makes New Year's resolutions.  Before ttwd, I would have been embarrassed at reneging on my pledge by the end of January.  After ttwd I knew that if I really wanted to change something about myself, all I had to do was ask for Sam's help.  He would be there for me whether it was May, September, or December.  And even if I decided to throw my goal out the window, Sam would be around to gently or not so gently remind me of our agreement.

The months leading up to January, 2019, had been both busy and full of angst.  We had the flood disaster the night before we left for London and France, and the mess and repairs took a full 4 months.  No ceilings and no floors in over half the house.  But the trip overseas was probably the best ever vacation for the two of us.  I was feeling healthy, and we did and saw everything we had missed for 2 years running.  Very special memories.

Artist rendition of glider landing at Pegasus Bridge

When we returned, we dealt with the water damage in the house and prepared for Sam's big surgery.  I wrote about that recently.  There was so much for us to discuss, so much more that just the diagnosis and the surgery.  The surgery carried with it some heavy emotional repercussions, and more than once, both of us cried and clung to each other.  Again, I will never know how to properly thank the blog friends who opened up to us about their journey with this diagnosis and surgery.  What amazing people.

The holidays were different this year.  Sam insisted that we were cutting back and taking a minimalist approach.  Not allowing me to stress myself out. 

While ttwd never disappeared, it never got the attention we usually pay to keeping it strong and positive.  There just wasn't time with all that happened.  Once we were past all the demands, Sam and I breathed a big sigh and felt like we finally could spend time just on each other.  When we began to talk about where we were a bit stale.  Not on our game, as they say.  We talked about it often.  We touched and smiled and laughed.

Finally Sam sat on the bed and pulled me across his knee.  He would spank for a while, but it was not about something I did or did not do.  It was not a "just because I love you" spanking either.  It wasn't funny and we were not laughing.  It was meant to reconnect and renew us as we faced the new year.

Sam would pause, and we would talk - about who we are now - how we've both changed.  How we are the same.  What should we remember about our respective roles?

It was a wonderful way to start the year.  The bond felt strong again.  In fact, I hope we do this every January.

                     So Slappy New Year, friends and readers.  
       Hope 2019 gives you all the love and spankings you deserve.

Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Half and Half

On Saturdays we almost always finish up our around-the-house tasks by 3:00 or 4:00 pm, and we drive just a short way to our favorite Saturday afternoon place for a beer.  Some weeks, though, we stop at the hardware store on the way.  The list for True Value is never as long as the one for groceries, but it seems you never remember everything you need for a home repair or project.  Those never-ending "honey-do" lists.

Most times I wander around this little hardware store looking at stuff and don't have a clue what it is or what it is used for.  This particular Saturday I stuck close to Sam, and he told me later that in the space of 2 minutes, I had told him what to do several times.  Like I was some big hardware expert.  Which I am not!

My usual description of a home repair goes something like this:

"Hon, you know that gizmo by the stove light?  Well, it started blinking so I sort of smacked it, and this little piece of metal fell out."

Sam just rolls his eyes and asks me to show him what I am talking about.  

Anyway I thought about what he said.  Me telling him what to do and realized he was right.  I was being bossy.  I apologized and decided I needed to straighten up post haste.  And I did.

When we got to our "Cheers" pub, I waited for him to open the door.  I waited for him to order for us, even though the waitress and I are good friends.  As she showed me the latest picture of her toddler, I reached across the table and absentmindedly stroked Sam's hand.  Jill smiled at our hands and then at Sam and I.

"You know, you guys are an inspiration.  I sure hope my husband and I are still so in love when we get to be your age."

I could have done without the reference to my "age," but we both thanked her.  We had a wonderful 2 hours, as usual.  Some excellent IPA and pub grub.  Lots to talk about as we anticipated an upcoming trip.  I love, love, love our Saturdays.

When we returned home later, Sam pushed me up against the wall for some long slow kisses.  Then he quietly led me to the bedroom and proceeded to unzip and remove my jeans and panties.  As he gently positioned me over his knee, he explained that there was a spanking imminent but that it was to be a "Half and half."

I laughed and asked him, "What the hell is that?"

He explained, "Well, one of your pretty cheeks is going to be reminded that I don't need you to tell me what to do and how to do it, especially at the hardware store.  The other cheek is going to be reminded how much I love you.  Half and half."

The man never ceases to amaze me!  And he was true to his word.  I couldn't stop laughing, even as he lit into my left cheek like there was no tomorrow.  After 10 or 12 good whacks, he turned his attention to my right cheek with some love taps and erotic rubbing.  Just as I became complacent, he returned to the left cheek with vigor.  It hurt but my tears were from laughing and nothing else.  After several rounds, he finally finished up with a kiss to both cheeks.

I was thinking how lucky we were and glowing with pleasure - one side a little brighter than the other.  As I rubbed a bit on the left a thought popped into my head about how this ttwd thing really works for us.  Part of the time there is guidance and even discipline.  Part of the time there is pampering and petting.  But all the time, there is the assurance and overwhelming knowledge that I love Sam and he loves me. 

Monday, January 7, 2019

Been Gone Too Long

Just a Little Note - The last five months of life have brought some really big challenges to Sam and I.  There have been long periods when I haven't blogged or even been reading in blogland.  I missed you all very much.  I even forgot that warm feeling that comes from communication with other women who accept me as I am. There is something special about keeping in touch with you all that leaves a big hole in my heart when I cannot be here.  Feels so good to be back.

At our house, Sam usually believes that my bossiness is best dealt with over the bed.  He and Mr. Paddle seem to know when enough is enough.  We all meet in the bedroom and I usually don't have any pants on.  Although I am never in favor of this sort of spanking at the time, I must admit that it usually reins in my natural tendency to "manage" everything, including Sam.


Lately, though, there have been extenuating circumstances here at Sam and Ella's house.  Sam underwent surgery several months ago, and it has taken time for him to heal and find his old energy level.  There was a considerable amount of pain to deal with as well.  Any surgery for our dear ones can give us cause to be nervous, but this one was really scary.  I was happy and matter-of-fact and positive because Sam needed me to be that way.  But deep inside I didn't feel so brave.  It was cancer, and that word is just plain frightening.

All went very well the surgeon said, but I know we will both be on pins and needles for many years when it comes time for the scheduled check-ups that search for any signs that the cancer may have spread.  I have read blogs and emails from some dear friends on this subject, and now I am living it, too.

I pray.

So back to the topic of bossiness.  It is through my visits to all of you that I know that most of us have at one time or, even more likely, have regularly grappled with the fact that we can be too bossy.  Just because we are worried or concerned about something or someone, doesn't make it OK.  It is still damn irritating to the men we live with.  And ttwd has been a good way for Sam to deal with my bad habit of stepping in to "run the show."  I admit that teachers can be worse at this than others.  If you have ever managed a classroom, you will know what I mean. 

And it is just natural for me to be bossy when someone isn't feeling well.  Recently I talked on the phone with a fellow blogger and friend who had been feeling poorly for quite a while now.  Her symptoms really did alarm me.  So what did I do?  I started bossing her around.  

"Good golly!  You simply must get in to see the doctor.  Be sure you start to record when these episodes begin.  The doc will want to know.  How long do they last?  Write down what you ate.  Are you taking anything?  You mustn't drive when you feel like that.  It could be dangerous."

Now this lovely friend did not get mad at me.  She knew I cared about her a lot.  She thanked me for the card I sent to her.  She knew she really should get in to see a doctor.  She certainly didn't want to spank me!  But husbands are made of different stuff.  Know what I mean?

So my concern for Sam after he came home from the hospital caused me to try and make him most comfortable and follow all the doctor's orders to the letter.  When he should take his prescriptions, when he should rest, what he should eat, how long he should walk and probably 5 other things as well. 

There were 2 things that Sam did when he'd had enough.  I am sure you can guess one of them.  Once he was well enough to wield a paddle, he put me over the bed for a long talk, and I came to my senses quickly.  He did appreciate my taking good care of him but not the hovering.  We "discussed" this more than once during his recuperation.

But the second thing Sam did was simply something he said to me.  It about knocked me over.  One morning as we were both getting dressed, I TOLD Sam that he ought to be doing something.  Don't even remember now what it was,

But he turned to me and, with a voice dripping with sarcasm, said 

                                     "Thank you, Mother."

I stopped dead in my tracks.  He looked at me.  I looked at him.  I wanted to argue with him, to deny that I was acting like a mother, but I knew he was right.

Have you ever thought to yourself that a spanking could be better that hearing just 3 little words?  At that moment, I would have paid a lot for the spanking.

Did I never utter another dictate?  No, of course not.  Has Sam never spanked me again for being bossy?  Not bloody likely.  But we both turned a corner that day.  And sitting on Sam's lap one night we once again talked about how ttwd and our efforts to live our roles had made this wrench thrown in our lives a little bit easier and a lot more positive.  We grew and learned from it, too.  I think it's been said a hundred times in the blogs I read and by the friends I've made, but it is AMAZING sometimes to see the power and transformation that this thing we do brings to a couple that embrace it.