Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Half and Half

On Saturdays we almost always finish up our around-the-house tasks by 3:00 or 4:00 pm, and we drive just a short way to our favorite Saturday afternoon place for a beer.  Some weeks, though, we stop at the hardware store on the way.  The list for True Value is never as long as the one for groceries, but it seems you never remember everything you need for a home repair or project.  Those never-ending "honey-do" lists.

Most times I wander around this little hardware store looking at stuff and don't have a clue what it is or what it is used for.  This particular Saturday I stuck close to Sam, and he told me later that in the space of 2 minutes, I had told him what to do several times.  Like I was some big hardware expert.  Which I am not!

My usual description of a home repair goes something like this:

"Hon, you know that gizmo by the stove light?  Well, it started blinking so I sort of smacked it, and this little piece of metal fell out."

Sam just rolls his eyes and asks me to show him what I am talking about.  

Anyway I thought about what he said.  Me telling him what to do and realized he was right.  I was being bossy.  I apologized and decided I needed to straighten up post haste.  And I did.

When we got to our "Cheers" pub, I waited for him to open the door.  I waited for him to order for us, even though the waitress and I are good friends.  As she showed me the latest picture of her toddler, I reached across the table and absentmindedly stroked Sam's hand.  Jill smiled at our hands and then at Sam and I.

"You know, you guys are an inspiration.  I sure hope my husband and I are still so in love when we get to be your age."

I could have done without the reference to my "age," but we both thanked her.  We had a wonderful 2 hours, as usual.  Some excellent IPA and pub grub.  Lots to talk about as we anticipated an upcoming trip.  I love, love, love our Saturdays.

When we returned home later, Sam pushed me up against the wall for some long slow kisses.  Then he quietly led me to the bedroom and proceeded to unzip and remove my jeans and panties.  As he gently positioned me over his knee, he explained that there was a spanking imminent but that it was to be a "Half and half."

I laughed and asked him, "What the hell is that?"

He explained, "Well, one of your pretty cheeks is going to be reminded that I don't need you to tell me what to do and how to do it, especially at the hardware store.  The other cheek is going to be reminded how much I love you.  Half and half."

The man never ceases to amaze me!  And he was true to his word.  I couldn't stop laughing, even as he lit into my left cheek like there was no tomorrow.  After 10 or 12 good whacks, he turned his attention to my right cheek with some love taps and erotic rubbing.  Just as I became complacent, he returned to the left cheek with vigor.  It hurt but my tears were from laughing and nothing else.  After several rounds, he finally finished up with a kiss to both cheeks.

I was thinking how lucky we were and glowing with pleasure - one side a little brighter than the other.  As I rubbed a bit on the left a thought popped into my head about how this ttwd thing really works for us.  Part of the time there is guidance and even discipline.  Part of the time there is pampering and petting.  But all the time, there is the assurance and overwhelming knowledge that I love Sam and he loves me. 

Monday, January 7, 2019

Been Gone Too Long

Just a Little Note - The last five months of life have brought some really big challenges to Sam and I.  There have been long periods when I haven't blogged or even been reading in blogland.  I missed you all very much.  I even forgot that warm feeling that comes from communication with other women who accept me as I am. There is something special about keeping in touch with you all that leaves a big hole in my heart when I cannot be here.  Feels so good to be back.

At our house, Sam usually believes that my bossiness is best dealt with over the bed.  He and Mr. Paddle seem to know when enough is enough.  We all meet in the bedroom and I usually don't have any pants on.  Although I am never in favor of this sort of spanking at the time, I must admit that it usually reins in my natural tendency to "manage" everything, including Sam.


Lately, though, there have been extenuating circumstances here at Sam and Ella's house.  Sam underwent surgery several months ago, and it has taken time for him to heal and find his old energy level.  There was a considerable amount of pain to deal with as well.  Any surgery for our dear ones can give us cause to be nervous, but this one was really scary.  I was happy and matter-of-fact and positive because Sam needed me to be that way.  But deep inside I didn't feel so brave.  It was cancer, and that word is just plain frightening.

All went very well the surgeon said, but I know we will both be on pins and needles for many years when it comes time for the scheduled check-ups that search for any signs that the cancer may have spread.  I have read blogs and emails from some dear friends on this subject, and now I am living it, too.

I pray.

So back to the topic of bossiness.  It is through my visits to all of you that I know that most of us have at one time or, even more likely, have regularly grappled with the fact that we can be too bossy.  Just because we are worried or concerned about something or someone, doesn't make it OK.  It is still damn irritating to the men we live with.  And ttwd has been a good way for Sam to deal with my bad habit of stepping in to "run the show."  I admit that teachers can be worse at this than others.  If you have ever managed a classroom, you will know what I mean. 

And it is just natural for me to be bossy when someone isn't feeling well.  Recently I talked on the phone with a fellow blogger and friend who had been feeling poorly for quite a while now.  Her symptoms really did alarm me.  So what did I do?  I started bossing her around.  

"Good golly!  You simply must get in to see the doctor.  Be sure you start to record when these episodes begin.  The doc will want to know.  How long do they last?  Write down what you ate.  Are you taking anything?  You mustn't drive when you feel like that.  It could be dangerous."

Now this lovely friend did not get mad at me.  She knew I cared about her a lot.  She thanked me for the card I sent to her.  She knew she really should get in to see a doctor.  She certainly didn't want to spank me!  But husbands are made of different stuff.  Know what I mean?

So my concern for Sam after he came home from the hospital caused me to try and make him most comfortable and follow all the doctor's orders to the letter.  When he should take his prescriptions, when he should rest, what he should eat, how long he should walk and probably 5 other things as well. 

There were 2 things that Sam did when he'd had enough.  I am sure you can guess one of them.  Once he was well enough to wield a paddle, he put me over the bed for a long talk, and I came to my senses quickly.  He did appreciate my taking good care of him but not the hovering.  We "discussed" this more than once during his recuperation.

But the second thing Sam did was simply something he said to me.  It about knocked me over.  One morning as we were both getting dressed, I TOLD Sam that he ought to be doing something.  Don't even remember now what it was,

But he turned to me and, with a voice dripping with sarcasm, said 

                                     "Thank you, Mother."

I stopped dead in my tracks.  He looked at me.  I looked at him.  I wanted to argue with him, to deny that I was acting like a mother, but I knew he was right.

Have you ever thought to yourself that a spanking could be better that hearing just 3 little words?  At that moment, I would have paid a lot for the spanking.

Did I never utter another dictate?  No, of course not.  Has Sam never spanked me again for being bossy?  Not bloody likely.  But we both turned a corner that day.  And sitting on Sam's lap one night we once again talked about how ttwd and our efforts to live our roles had made this wrench thrown in our lives a little bit easier and a lot more positive.  We grew and learned from it, too.  I think it's been said a hundred times in the blogs I read and by the friends I've made, but it is AMAZING sometimes to see the power and transformation that this thing we do brings to a couple that embrace it.



Friday, November 23, 2018

Don't Know Who Started This Meme!

1.  Something people hate to find on their windshield?

A windshield chip.  Ouch!  Expensive.

2.  Something a man might buy before going on a date?

Gasoline.  Unless he wants to run out of gas somewhere romantic.

3.  Something you cook in the microwave.

Corn on the cob.  Cooks right in the husk.  It tastes so fresh!

4. An item found in an old man's wallet.

A Medicare card.  OR coupons for an IHOP breakfast 
                                     with other ROMEOs.

5.  Something always stocked in the fridge?

Beer, of course!  Also a new keg under the beer spigot.

This would be nice under Ella's tree.

6.  An item found in a Grandma's purse?

Pictures of her grand kids.  A phone with Southwest Airlines on  speed dial.

7.   Sport where you might lose a tooth.

Hockey.  Can't beat dem Canucks, eh?

8.  A fruit that isn't round?

Banana.  "Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just glad to see me."

Is that a Cinnabon on your head?

9.  Something you put on a Christmas tree? 

Candy canes.  Unidentifiable things your kids made in kindergarten. 

10.  Name 5 people you think will do this.

This question seems out of date already, so how 'bout......

Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, the Lion, and Toto, too! 

Bonus Question

Something you really, really want this Christmas?

A good lab report on January 23, 2019. 

Thursday, November 15, 2018

Message to the Quiet Ones


Another year has flown by, and a few of my fellow bloggers have reminded me that it is time for LOL day.  First, as I usually do, let me explain that I prefer to call this "Love our Learners" day.  The word "lurker" has such a furtive connotation, and I much prefer to call those of you who choose to remain quiet as "learners" - learners who are not ready to comment yet.  Still thinking about what you read.  Still trying to understand your need to read a blog such as mine.

So this day is dedicated to speaking to our silent visitors.  Many, many more of you come to read my posts than ever leave a comment.  In fact there is one source I have come across that says you represent 90% of my readers.  When I am writing, I think of all of you quite a bit.  I am honest in my writing for Ella Ever After.  The events you read here really happen to me.  I don't embellish the stories to make them more exciting.  It's just Sam and I and what happens as we live "This Thing We Do".

I love to answer the readers who leave comments.  It is my way of saying thank you for taking the time to write to me.  And I think you do deserve to be acknowledged.  I try to be prompt unless life slows me down.  As for me, it helps so much to read the comments.  If something I wrote speaks to you, I would like to know that.  Then I understand who my audience is, and it becomes part of my consciousness as I look for a way to tell the next story about our relationship.  What would you like me to write about?

Not Too Creepy :)

There's a big difference between reading an article and reading a blog.  Although an article might list the author, for the most part reading an article is sort of a lonely, impersonal undertaking.  You certainly are not invited to send the author a hello or ask a question.  Blogs are meant to be more friendly.  Someone with
whom you can relate.  I have a name and you know my husband's name.  You know all the little useless information that makes me seem more human.  I have too many shoes.  I love Shakespeare and beer.  I have a temper (that is so much better since I became close to a fellow blogger who advises "Always Be Kind" and lives it herself.)  See there, you can grow and be a better person when you take a chance on making a friend!

Maybe you are not sure what you could possibly contribute with your comment.  But you might have a really good question or something you thought I could have included in a post.  Maybe you have a little story or a few thoughts you think others would find interesting, but you do not have your own blog.  I would be happy to consider reading your thoughts and giving you a guest post opportunity.  There is definitely a "rush" to seeing your story online to share with others.

Have you ever had the experience of stopping at a favorite coffee shop, and the folks behind the counter know what you are going to order before you order it?  It feels so nice to be a "regular".  To feel like part of a group.  To feel welcomed and understood.  That's the way a blog should feel.  Like you are visiting a special friend.  I try to write that way.  So that you feel I care.

So let's have a cup of coffee together today.  I will make a big pot of my favorite roast.  The smell will waft over to where I am on the computer waiting for you to drop by.  I will pour us both steaming mugs, so we can sit and chat together.  Like friends that enjoy each other's company.  Nothing formal.  Just Ella and you. 

                            Hurry up.  Your coffee is getting cold.  


Friday, November 9, 2018

Lessons Learned - Veteran's Day, 2018


Over the years I have thanked many a veteran for their service and not just on November 11th.  I have never been rebuffed for doing so.  Each and every man and woman has been gracious, and almost everyone has smiled back at me.  As a teacher I endeavored to instill this appreciation of the people who have served our nation through the military in my young students.  And again, every soldier to whom we sent pictures and letters or care packages wrote us back to tell the kids thanks and how much they enjoyed them.

As I started to think that Veteran’s Day this year was coming up soon, I realized that my perspective has changed considerably in the last year.  I began to volunteer at my local Veteran’s Administration (VA) and have learned that while all my past thank-you’s were sincere and well received, I have never really understood the depth of the man or the woman who stood before me.  Never knew the stories and memories they carried in their hearts.

This last year has been an awakening for me.  I knew I wanted to give back in some small way to veterans and more than just a verbal thank you or a handshake.  When I contacted the VA volunteer service in my city, I wasn’t sure in what direction I would go.  Now I know that the direction didn’t matter.  It was the journey and the people I would meet that would become important.

I am just one person, and the time I give at the VA only touches a handful of veterans.  I'll bet I know what you are thinking.  And if it is "how wonderful that she can give something back to these deserving folks," you are not even close.  It is I who should be the most grateful.  Getting to know these men and women as people has expanded my understanding of who they really are behind the faces, behind the laughter, and behind the tears.  I am in awe of each and every one of them.

For those who saw combat, the stories and memories they carry can be a heavy load.  Just because they have completed their tours of duty and taken off their uniforms doesn’t mean they get to pack away those horrors in an old duffel bag.  They carry that burden every day for the rest of their lives.  And even in their sleep the nightmares come to haunt them.  I have come to understand that their service to the rest of us doesn’t stop when they come home. 

I am a wiser person now.  For whatever I give of my time and effort, I receive so much in my own personal growth. The next time I thank a veteran for his or her service, I will know that they did not just show their bravery and dedication once upon a time.   

                        They live their bravery every single day. 

Monday, November 5, 2018

The Work of an HOH is Never Done


On Fridays Sam and I get some housework out of the way, so that our weekends are free and clear.

  • Ella does the bathrooms
  • Sam does the vacuuming
  • Ella does the laundry
  • Sam does the grocery shopping

Now that I am retired and Sam is "sorta" retired, we like to tackle those tasks when Sam comes home about noon on Fridays.  Just get 'er done, as they say.

When Sam walked in the door last Friday, my arms were full of cleaning supplies, and I was heading to start on the front bathroom.  I did stop to give Sam a kiss, though.  With a smile, he started pulling each cleaning product from my arms and stacking them on the chest in the entry.  When I protested that I had not yet started my cleaning, he kissed me again and said,

"I think I need to do some dusting and polishing first."

"Oh, don't worry.  We don't need to dust this week, Hon," I corrected.  (As far as I am concerned, dusting is never really needed.")

"Oh, yes we do, Ells," he said with a grin.

Then Sam took my hand and led me to the bedroom.  As he unzipped my jeans, he teased me again,

"I feel I have been remiss in my household duties."

He sat on the bed and pulled me over one of his knees.  He continued talking, and his hand rested on my bottom for a few moments.  Then Sam told me it had been way too long since he had "dusted" my ass.  He laid into this chore with relish.  It was only his hand, but, oh my, he was dusting thoroughly!

After a bit, he did some lovely rubbing, too.

"Hmmm...thank you," I said dreamily.

"Well, I told you there would be polishing, too," and I could hear the smile in his voice, even if I couldn't see it.

"Oh, I like the polishing better."

"Too bad.  We have more dusting to do."

Well, he went back and forth between dusting and polishing at least 3 more times.  Can't imagine I ever told you that Sam was a sloppy man!  Believe me, Mr Clean couldn't have done a better job.  We spent a few minutes tangled up, but then Sam stood up and said he needed to get the vacuuming done.  Many Fridays he has a "guys only" lunch date at 1:00 pm.

Hmmph!  Thrown to the side for hot wings and beer.  I went to find all my bathroom products by the front door, and got started by cleaning mirrors.  Of course, I thought it would be nice to peek at Sam's handiwork on my bottom in the mirror.  Well done, mister.  Dusted and Polished.  You're work here is done. 

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

He Has Spoken

It's always so much fun to hear from the husbands.  So this post is dedicated to giving them a voice.  The following are questions to be asked of your dear man.  I expect that you will need to take notes when you conduct this interview.  If it helps, use a recorder to be sure you can retell his words.  I have done this with Sam and he had lots to say!  We laughed a lot, too.

                                                       Please feel free to skip any questions that do not apply. :)

1.  If you could be 16 years old again for a day, how would you spend those 24 hours?

Get up early in the morning and take Ella to see the sunrise on Lake Michigan.  Visit the Museum of Science and Industry - downtown Chicago.  Take the train.  Have lunch at the old Berghoff.  Hit a movie in Downers Grove and sit in the back row to make out.  Stop at McDonald's.  Bring Ella home and have a beer with her mom.

2.  Name one thing your wife could do for which you would spank her in a heartbeat.  If you don't spank your wife, tell us about something she does that you find very irritating.

Slamming doorsInstantaneously.  No question about it!

 3.  Is there a vacation destination or experience about which you have always dreamed?  Would you want to take your wife or do this particular trip on your own?

Ella and I already did it.  Normandy........  Well, maybe the old Indianapolis 500 or Watkins Glen.  With the racing regulations the way they were back in the 80's.  The old Can Am.  And I would take Ells if she were willing to go. Maybe Le Mans in France.  That would be fun.  It's a 24 hour race.  It's cool.

4.  Tell us about something your wife does that has a childlike quality to it.  It could be something happy or silly or something else. 

Singing to herself when she's happy. "Dat da da da dum......"

5.  If you are a father, what was something that you did with your kid(s) that brought you a great deal of happiness

Fishing was always fun.  With the two boys doing their little comedy show.  An all day affair.  "The great white whale.....Moby Dick" (laughter). Fishing in Michigan and Colorado.

6.  Do you see your wife as submissive?

Now and again but not consistently.  But we always rectify that with a little hand talk.  After a talk with Mr. Paddle she is most submissive.  It grounds her.  Puts things in perspective.  Ella loses perspective when she gets wonky.

7.  Which of you is the most outgoing?

Ella, easily.  By far.

8.  What is an outdoor activity that you enjoy?  
     An indoor activity?  (besides sex!)

Outdoor - Shooting.  Long range shooting.  Target shooting.  Focus - it's like golf.  It's like zen.  Like mindset.  Clears your mind.  Zen is the best way to say it.

Indoor - Reading war books with Ella at our favorite pub on a Saturday afternoon.

9.  What's the greatest car that has ever been built?

Cobra Mustang. ...427.  500 horse power. Four-speed transmission. Hurst shifter.  It was the Bullitt Car, basically.  Like in Steve McQueen's Bullitt movie!

10.  Do you like to shop for your own clothes or do you prefer that your wife do that for you? Or is the Internet the best way to shop?

Wife - by mutual agreement.  I don 't like to shop. But I do sometimes because of the pick.  Ella picks flashy clothes sometimes.  Not me.  And I don't like alligators on the pockets! The Internet will point you in the right direction - I've used it for jeans, belts, coats. 

Just Say No

11. Think about movies you like.  Are they usually ones that you and your wife both enjoy?  Or do your tastes run far from what she usually likes?

We have intersections of ones we both like.  That match.  War movies, historical stuff, political, some mysteries.  And then a whole bunch in the middle.  Ones Ella likes that I don't and ones that I like that she doesn't.  But after that, no!  No chick flicks!  And I know she hates Terminator, Walker - Texas Ranger, John-Claude Van Damme.

This is a Sam Favorite.

This is an Ella Favorite.

12.  When you are away from home, what do you miss the most?

 My lady........and my "dawg."  That's it.

Hope that some of you will give this a try with your guys.  Sometimes we only hear of them in posts as the spankers.  There's lots more to know, I think.  It seems silly, but I am most anxious to learn about their opinions of the "greatest car" ever.  Have fun!