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Monday, June 19, 2017

Don't Poke the Bear - Especially if He is Dieting !

Since I started visiting here in blogland, I think I have read at least 10 different posts titled "Don't Poke the Bear."  It seems to be pretty much a universal theme in "these here parts."  (That is a little cowboy talk I picked up from reading so many of Sunny's books.)  The whole concept of ttwd could probably be summed up in those four words.....don't poke the bear.

I have a dear friend who has tagged Sam as a "big cuddly bear."  That description really made me laugh!  I do love when my man cuddles me, although he would never use that word.  Might hear instead, "Comere you," with a smile in his voice.  There's a certain spot between the living room and the hall where Sam pushes me up against the wall for some loving attention.  If he forgets, I will stand right there until he notices.  It doesn't take long.

Even the "bear" part is OK with me as long as it means I am getting a happy bear hug, at which Sam is quite good.  A real bone-crusher can damn near lift me off the floor.  I love when he loves on me that way, and I laugh until there are tears in my eyes. With no shirt on, I bury my face in the hair on his chest and breathe in his scent.  Poking his chest, literally, would not have the desired effect at all.

But "Don't Poke The Bear" (hereafter known as DPTB) doesn't have a literal meaning, unless it is a game between a father and a child perhaps.  Most often, the expression is used metaphorically to advise or prevent someone from asking or doing something that might provoke a negative response from someone else.


Always on the first day of the new school year, I guided my fourth or fifth graders in understanding and adapting the Preamble to the United States Constitution to govern the way we would treat each other and achieve our academic goals.  After they proposed and voted on their own rules, I gave a short DPTB speech on what behaviors I would not tolerate at any time.  This may sound a bit dictatorial compared to the democratic introduction, but most teachers would probably identify with my methods.  Prejudice, humiliation, and ostracizing someone are 3 that come to mind.  The first time a child messed with the Holy Three, the Bear was out of the cave.  It didn't happen often.  There were a lot more rewards than growls.

Actually, DPTB is often a game between Sam and me.  I poke and the bear spanks.  My man usually enjoys this, too, but several weeks ago, the Bear decided it was time to lose some winter weight.  Somehow there were a few extra pounds he had put on during those months of hibernation.  Now, at my request, Sam is used to helping me maintain a healthy weight, and is quite sweet about it.  He is not quite as sweet, though, when he is munching on carrots and cauliflower instead of peanuts or chips.

Most every night, I am off to bed a good while before Sam is ready.  I pour myself some water, grab my Kindle, and head down the hall.  Sam comes in a bit later for some hugs and kisses.  If it is a work night, he might even say, "Lights out in 10."  When he slips into bed later, he will pull me close to spoon and pat my bottom.  Life doesn't get much sweeter.

Some nights I might bring a small snack to munch on as I read.  The other evening I remembered there were pretzels in the pantry, and I took 3 rods.  Sam met me in the hall and furrowed his brow when he saw the sticks in my hand.  

"Where are you going with those," he asked.

"To read, of course," I answered with a smile and here is where the bear-baiting began.

"Are you supposed to have those?" he frowned looking at the pretzels longingly.

                             What popped into my head was....

                         Thou shalt not covet thy wife's pretzels.

Instead, I smiled and said, "Yes, I can have these because I am not trying to lose weight; I am simply trying to maintain."

I did not think I sounded like a Weight Watchers Wise Ass, but apparently Sam thought I did.  He grabbed me in a bear hug with one arm and started spanking my wise ass with the other.  When I started laughing, he yanked down my pajama bottoms quicker than you could say, "Don't Poke the Bear."

The Bear had been officially poked, and my giggling just fueled the fire.  He most certainly was lighting a fire on my ass.  Way back when ttwd was new to us, I believed that a hand spanking was really lightweight.  Well, times have changed, and Sam tells me it is "...all in the wrist."

I was off to bed with a lovely glow on both sets of cheeks.  After kisses and hugs I settled in to read with a big smile on my face.  I decided to do a little research on the habits of bears.  As a public service announcement please pay close attention to the information below.

                 What Ella Has Learned About Bear Behavior -

1.  A bear's strongest sense is smell, and they can pick up the scent of pretzels from over a mile away.

2.  It is believed that bears "mark" a trail by clawing trees, and they do this to establish male dominance.  My bottom had been marked, for sure.

3. Finally, it is a well known fact that a hungry bear is a lot more aggressive than a bear who comes home to beer and peanuts.

                       Remember what Smokey the Bear says:

                            "Only You Can Prevent Ass Fires."  

Monday, June 12, 2017

This Is A Hard Meme For Someone With a Big Mouth!

When someone likes to talk as much as Ella, it is not easy to do a one-word meme!  I feel like I ought to put duct tape on my mouth just to answer these.  I think our dear Terps did this meme first, and I am not surprised.  Not sure if she wrote it or not.  For those of you that visit her blog, A Place To Share, you already know how sensitive and gifted she is at writing a whole post focused on one single word.  Always positive and inspiring.  So Ella will try her hand at this.  Hope you will leave me a comment today and ask me a question, too.  Then I will have an opportunity to blather on as I am so wont to do.

1.   Where is your phone?   purse

 2.   Your hair?  blonde

3.   Your dad?  crazy

4.   Your other half?   loved

5.   Your favorite food?   steak

6.   Your dream last night?  beach

7.   Your favorite drink?  beer

8.   Fear?   snakes

9.   Favorite?  sex

10. Favorite way to relax?  read

11. Your mood?  excited

12. I love?  Sam

13. Where were you last night?  couch

14. Something that you aren't?  patient

15. Muffins?   chocolate

16. Wish list item?   refrigerator

17. Where you grew up?  Chicago

18. Last thing you did?  breakfast

19. What are you wearing right now?  jeans

20. Something you hate?   calories

21. Your pets?   dogs

22. Friends?   special

23. Life?  full

24. Regrets?   September

25. Missing someone?  sisters

                        Ella says, "Dis posst wuz 2 shurtt!"

                    So here is some deep and serious Shakespeare stuff 
                              for your reading pleasure.


Monday, June 5, 2017

Ella's Bookshelf - Becoming Family

Finally, the long-awaited sequel to PK Corey's book, Cal's Law, has arrived.  And she took her fans' requests to heart by making Becoming Family a longer novel.  Fine by me; I was certainly looking forward to this 2nd book.  The author is very purposeful with her books in a series.  A good sequel has a plot that is part of a bigger plan, not just an afterthought.  Cal's Law had a definitive ending, but there was always the hope that Cal and Jenny's love for each other would go on, and we could be there.

Sequels are like good friends you haven't heard from in a while.  You grin and chatter away to catch up on all the news and events that have come to pass since the last visit.  Favorite characters, a setting you love, and, just maybe, an explanation to a question that wasn't answered in an earlier book.

Title:  Becoming Family

Author:  PK Corey

Number of Pages:  166

Themes:  Family, Sense of Community, and Belonging

Main Characters:

  • Cal Bennett - the young sheriff of a small college town.  He is hard-working and honest.  The girl he vowed to help learn responsible conduct is the very girl with whom he fell in love.  He is a hearty proponent of a traditional domestic discipline relationship.

  • Jenny Anderson - the rich college student who came to know "Cal's Law" over his knee.  The thing is......she fell in love with this sheriff who helped transform her into a fine and accountable young woman.

  • Jake Potter - Cal's best friend since childhood and his trusted deputy.  We find out in this book that he is serious about dating Cal's little sister.

  • Lane Bennett - one of Cal's younger siblings who gives Jenny her first taste of an honest friendship.

  • Victoria and Harold Anderson - Jenny's mother and father.  There's not much good to say here.  Her father is a spineless man who allows his shrew of a wife to wreak havoc on everyone she knows, including their own daughter.

Setting:  A small college town in the low country of North Carolina.  Many families live nearby along the beautiful river.

Before I discuss anything else, I want to share the wonder and happiness I felt as I read Becoming Family.  This 2nd book about the love story of Cal and Jenny broadens the sense of community in a very real way.  In the previous book, Cal's Law, the relationship between these 2 people was grounded in the college/town setting, but the two were most often seen as an isolated couple from the others around them.  

Cal was eager to help Jenny become a better student and a kinder and happier person.  He was firm with his expectations and unbending with the consequences for irresponsible behavior.  As for Jenny, despite her protests of his methods, the girl began to thrive and grow confident in her new roles as student and homemaker.  Both Cal and Jenny were shy about making their fondness for each other known.

This second book follows the first with hardly a pause.  Their love story is in full swing, but this time the reader sees the two in the company of family and friends.  We learn Cal has brought up the subject of marriage.  After he explains that Jenny needs to understand that the consequence of a spanking will be an integral part of their life together, he decides it is time to meet the parents.

Jenny is reluctant to visit his parents, and when Cal picks her up, she tries to tempt him sexually, hoping he will put off the meeting.  Cal's words made me shiver with pleasure. "If you don't stop," he paused, a low growl filling the silence, "I'm going to pull over and blister your ass...."  Oh, my....I thought.  What I wouldn't give to have Sam say that!

While Cal's family treats Jenny with warmth, encouragement, and instant acceptance, Jenny's rich parents do not reciprocate.  Her mother is a wicked crone who flat out tells Jenny that Cal is not a suitable match for her.  Believe me, this encounter between mother and daughter is tame compared with the intense climax of this book.  It is downright chilling.

My absolute favorite chapters in Becoming Family, are the ones that include Cassie and Tom and the whole extended family who live along the river.  In Cal's Law, there was just a cameo appearance from my beloved Cassie.  In this book the interchange between the characters is developed so much more.  Cal and Jenny are welcomed to Cassie and Tom's house for a barbecue.  There is a slower, almost pastoral tone to these passages, and Jenny hugs it to her heart.

In fact, Cassie plays a part in advancing the plot as she firmly advises Jenny not to let her mother ruin her life.  But there is a tenderness that leads me to believe Jenny will win a place in Cassie's "family" just like Allie.

Characterization was very strong in this sequel.  The spanking and sex were thoroughly graphic and well written.  Just my humble opinion, but I believe PK becomes a better writer with each book.  The scope of this book makes me feel safe in that even when Cassie's stories come to an end, there is a whole community of characters that will grow and love in this author's future stories.

                                             Lucky for us -

                                                         Just a Little Bit More -

Was very pleased that I had the opportunity to interview Mr. and Mrs. Duff again!  Thought y'all might enjoy the perspective as much as I did. 

Tom says that he voted for Cal when he ran for sheriff and especially likes his "straightforwardness."  Tom admires that Cal "sees his job as protection of the people he's been elected to serve.... that's the man I want as my sheriff." 

Cassie was slightly prickly about how Cal "fusses at me" after he pulled her out of situations in which she landed herself using bad judgement.  "And worse than that, he has no problem telling Tom, which usually leads to an uncomfortable encounter," she complains.  Cassie admits, though, that Cal does his job well but says his greatest strength is, "Definitely his taste in women!  Jenny is a doll."

                  Characterization - Ella says, "See wadda mean?" 


Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Yellow Brick Road - Detour Ahead

There's an issue that pops up at our house every so often that always causes me to dive into a tail spin and think that maybe ttwd is just not really working for us.  When it happens, I monumentally overreact.  There is distancing from Sam, sometimes tears, and lots of silence.  Normally, with any of these behaviors from me, Sam would be patient and comforting for a time, and if that didn't help, there would be a spanking that would set things to right.  That's normally.

But it just doesn't work according to plan when I perceive that Sam is, indeed, WRONG about something.  Now this truly doesn't make sense.  I can admit that I make a mistake, but I don't want to think he can make a mistake.  The ideal HOH, the perfect dominant husband, is always all-knowing, patient, and sure of himself.  He is wise and loving and firm.  He knows just what road we should take on this journey.  I try to tell myself, "Ella, the real world is not your fairy tale."

Sort of makes me think of Dorothy and her friends all off to see the great and almighty Oz.  They travel down the Yellow Brick Road to consult the powerful Wizard about a brain, a heart, some courage,
and a way back home.  They are sent on a quest to prove they are worthy of these gifts.  When they return to the Wizard with the broomstick of the Wicked Witch of the West, they discover that the Wizard doesn't really have any magic power at all.  When Dorothy calls him a "very bad man," he assures her,

                      "Oh, no, my dear.  I'm a very good man.  
                                 I'm just a very bad Wizard."

And the Wizard is wise after all; he shows Dorothy and her companions that they already possess the gifts they thought had to come from something magic.

TTWD feels like magic sometimes.  The way it has changed our marriage and how it makes me so happy, but Sam is not a wizard.  He is a very good man, but he is not a very good wizard.  He makes mistakes.  After all, I am the one who came to him and finally spoke about my heart's desire.  He listened and learned even though it was not a natural instinct for him.

                    "If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, 
                     I won't look any further than my own back yard.  
             Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with." 

When Sam forgets to act as the HOH around here,  I miss it terribly.  I worry that he doesn't want that responsibility any more.  Do you remember when everyone in the Emerald City has to wear green-tinted glasses?  Well, that's me.  I see everything in our relationship through ttwd glasses, and Sam does not.  I feel lost and I want to find my way back home.

And then he is back and tells me how silly I have been to worry that he does not want to be my HOH.  Tells me how that will never happen.  How much he loves me and how I am the most important thing in his world.  How happy I make him.  How he would do anything for me.  How he loves to spank my bottom.  Then I know for sure that he has a brain and a heart and the courage to be my man and that those qualities were always there.  I just lost my way for a bit.  Must be the poppies!  And when he pulls me close in his arms and holds me tight, I close my eyes and tap my heels together three times and remember there's no place like home.


Thursday, May 18, 2017

Hobbies - Check All That Apply

Most of us have something outside of work or our home/family responsibilities that we could call a "hobby".  An interest or even a passion that we enjoy in our free time.  Retirement seems to be the perfect reason to spend even more energy on those activities that give us pleasure.

A hobby can be solitary like reading or swimming.  Sam likes to be in his workshop building furniture or restoring guns.  (BTW, that workshop is where the infamous Mr. Paddle was born.)  I believe hobbies like these are restorative to the spirit.  Many times hobbies can be a social occasion as well.  I have lovely memories of all the wonderful people I came to know when I was active in drama.  I think it's great fun to go "junking" at dusty thrift shops and antique stores with a good friend.  Sports are wonderful whether you are a player or a spectator.  We love to spend time outdoors at a private shooting range.  You don't have to play football to love it.  It's fun for many folks to get together with friends, food, and drink to enjoy a game together.

We can relax and unwind.  We can nurture our creativity and improve our mood.  As we age, a hobby can challenge us mentally and physically.  We can meet new people and form important and rewarding relationships.  Hobbies can even be an integral component in fighting depression.  Life can be full of situations we can't control.  I see hobbies as something where I am in charge.  Sam may be the boss around this house, but when I'm baking bread, I am directing the activity.

The other week, I had reason to be filling out one of those forms/surveys that ask for your interests.  You know the ones.  Sort of like a really boring meme.

         "Tell us about your hobbies.  Please check all that apply."

 Well, I thought of what boxes I used to check or respond to when asked that question.  

                          The Vanilla Me of Yore.

                      Gardening              Reading
                      Sewing                   Travel
                      Decorating              Cooking
                      Drama                     Baking
                      Writing                    Shooting
                      Exercise                  Collecting
                      Embroidery             Antiques
                      Shopping  (Yes, that is a hobby, I say.)

Then I thought of what I might write today IF I could be my perfectly frank ttwd self to the whole world.  Of  course, this doesn't mean I don't still enjoy my old pursuits, but I've broadened my hobby horizon immensely.  

  • Kisses pushed up against the wall
  • This Thing We Do
  • Spanking, Paddling, Caning 
  • Making love as often as possible
  • Finding joy in pleasing my husband
  • Lap sitting 
  • Renewed interest in corsets and stockings
  • Flogging for pleasure
  • Butt plugs and anal play
  • Spooning with Sam's hand on my bottom
  • Skyrocket orgasms
  • Creative uses for kitchen implements
  • Riding in the truck with my hand on Sam's thigh
  • New favorite genre of reading for pleasure
  • Appreciation of leather in a whole new way
  • Conversions of former sweater drawers into toy boxes
  • Writing for a new purpose and personal satisfaction
  • Friends who understand me for who I really am
  • Realization of my own potential for happiness

Life has changed for me in ways I would never have dreamed possible.  Sam and I spend more time on all the pleasures that ttwd has brought to us.  Our old hobbies are still with us and we love them as much as ever.  But time seems to pass differently now.  The reality of who we have become and that we have carved a secret relationship for ourselves makes us look forward to every moment together.  Best of all, our new "hobbies" fill our lives with meaning and joy. 


I remembered a quote from the ancient poet, Ovid, that always made me think of the importance of celebrating what makes one an individual.

                    "In our leisure we reveal

                   what kind of people we are."

                     TTWD makes me one of the happy people. 


Thursday, May 11, 2017

Ella Turns Two!

These days I would rather ignore birthdays.  The years fly by way too fast, and the number connected to each year I have been alive is getting harder to face.  But I don't mind telling you at all that Ella Ever After is turning 2 years old!  TTWD is older than that because Sam and I introduced it into our relationship quite a while before I came upon Meredith and this circle of bloggers.  Before there was my blog.

Just like a young child is still egocentric and the center of his own little universe, Sam and I had no understanding of our place in this new life.  It was just the two of us, stranded on a deserted island.  I knew there were women out there like me, but I had no personal connection to any of them.  My internet browsing took me mostly to fictional stories and a few articles.  It fed my need, but it was also very lonely. 

The women (and a few guys) I have come to know through blogging are some of the smartest, most sensitive friends I have ever had.  I have met some of them in person, but I am referring here to ALL the readers I have come to know.  True individuals with unique personalities that shine through in their posts and their comments.  All friends.  All searching for their own fulfillment through ttwd and recognizing the honest truth that they need spanking in their lives .  A very special circle of women.


The blog, the writing, has helped me grow - in fact, I think it has made both Sam and I grow.  Instead of feeling isolated, I began to develop a sense of autonomy and self-determination.  I could identify with other bloggers, but became more comfortable with the way Sam and I approached ttwd.  Our differences.  I could feel genuine in my own skin.  Sam and I did not need to fit into someone else's mold.  Our roles began to feel more natural, like we had finally discovered what made me feel female and what made him feel male.  That is very important to us.

It is the writing and the communication with other women like me that has made me feel empowered.  Of course, we would continue with ttwd despite my writing or not.  But sometimes when I am struggling to compose a post for my blog, I realize that it is this exercise that makes me introspective.  Makes me keep striving to be the best I can be.  Like a child slowly matures from being solely a concrete thinker into exploring abstract concepts, I have come to know myself better.

So to me, the work I have put into 120 some posts over the last 2 years has been so much more than just finding a friend or understanding others' experiences on their ttwd journeys.  The writing has given me an insight into my own heart and mind that would never have happened if I had not begun to articulate how this new life works for us and the gift of a renewal with the man I love so dearly.   

                       I am very glad I chose the blogname of 
                                        Ella Ever After.

                It still fits just as well as when I wrote my first post.

                             Dreams do come true, you know.  
                           You just have to take that first step.