Saturday, December 31, 2016

Fancy Fanny Fiddlers



                         
                            "What Did You Get For Christmas?" 


It's the perfect question when you talk or write to friends after the 25th of December.  I even remember having to compose an essay to answer that question when I was 10 years old.
  

                                                              "Well, let's see..."



                 And here's a sampling of what you might hear 
                                 as a response to that query - 

  • Sweater
  • Fruit Basket
  • Scarf and Gloves
  • Perfume
  • Gift Card
  • Slippers
  • Movie - DVD
  • Large Tin of Popcorn
  • Books
  • Necklace
  • Specialty Coffee and Mug 
  • Socks
  • Box of Candy
  • Pajamas
 


So when I get back to work and my colleagues ask this question, I am sure I will be able to smile and fill in the blank.  When my kid sister on the east coast calls to chat, I can eagerly share all about my haul of coveted Ann Taylor LOFT gift cards.  Over coffee with a friend, I can blather on about the new movie I watched curled up on the couch the night before.




The gift I won't mention to anyone except my blog friends is the one that Sam called a "private present."  

                       Not Ready for Prime Time Gift Opening.

On the morning of Christmas Eve with so much to prepare for all the entertaining that night and the next day, Sam decided we needed to "discuss" all the bossiness that had crept back in to rear its ugly head.  Off to the bedroom.  Actually the topic was discussed with Mr. Paddle, I was soon listening respectfully.


Talk to Mr. Paddle


Not too much later, though, Mr. P. let up a bit, and there was lots of rubbing going on as well.  Much better.  Then I noticed a smallish package within my reach on the bed.  Several months ago I had asked Santa for something "leather" this year, but this box was too small for a paddle or a crop.  Mmmm...I kept sizing up the gift, and Sam kept exploring.  Finally he chuckled and told me to go ahead and open it.




"And what to my wondering eyes should appear," but 3 purple butt plugs and just one tiny reindeer, I mean vibrator.  What also caught my attention was the name, "Fancy Fanny Fiddlers."  And guess what the name was of the manufacturing company whose name appeared in the corner.  Yep, the company was called "Frisky."  You just try and say that 10 times really quickly!


                                Frisky's Fancy Fanny Fiddlers
                                Frisky's Fancy Fanny Fiddles
                                Francy Fisky Finnler Finger
                                Frisky Fiddler Faddly.....
                                              Oh, F_ _ k!

               Oh well, Sam likes that "F" word the best anyway.





Well, there were 3 graduated sizes with a small hole at the base of each fiddler.  Kind of like the big Papa Bear, the smaller Mama Bear, and even a wee Baby Bear.  One could insert a finger in the little hole of the size of your choice to assist you in fiddling wherever you decided to fiddle or one could choose this clever little silver vibrating bullet.  As they say, variety is the spice of life.  Anyway, there were all sorts of ways to fiddle in all sorts of orifices.  And we tried a bunch.





Later, I remembered a terrific butt plug chat with my beach sisters last summer while we were all bobbing up and down in the water.  I learned a lot from the more experienced butt plug aficionados but felt that I had little wisdom to share. If there is hopefully another trip, I feel that I will be able to participate more fully in any butt plug discussions. 





                           
                                We often call ttwd a "journey."
        Sam has just led me down a new path where the sign reads: 

              Turn Left Ahead For Some Freaking Fabulous Fun!

                        Frisky's Famous Fancy Fanny Fiddlers!

                                         Feel the Fever!  








18 comments:

  1. Oh Ella, falling about laughing here!! I too got a spanky present or two. I got a lovely leather strap and some pyjamas with a spanky message on amidst the presents you can talk about!
    Glad you had a fun time, lots more to come hopefully. Happy New Year to you and Sam
    love Jan, xx

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    Replies
    1. Good for you, Jan. Spanky presents are the best. I want some pajamas like that. I will ask Santa for next year!

      Happy New Year Across the Pond,
      Ella

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  2. Oh what a fabulous fiddler which will fulfill your freaky fanny fantasy. Happy New year and may all your wishes come true

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    Replies
    1. Oh, Don. A man who loves spanking and is clever with alliteration is someone special indeed!

      Hope there is some fancy fiddling in your New Year as well!

      Ella Sending a Hug Downunder :)

      Delete
  3. That was a wonderful talk and about such an interesting topic. This was a thoughtful gift from your honey. You can explore to your hearts content. Hope your New Year's Eve is wonderful.

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    Replies
    1. The best part of that talk was the lovely women and all the laughter they enjoyed.

      Hugs Just For PK,
      Ella

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  4. Ella,
    Giggling here. You are so right, not a gift you can readily talk about with others, that's for sure.
    --Baker

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    Replies
    1. Exactly! A gift like that should never be under the tree! The family would never recover.

      Happy New Year,
      Ells

      Delete
    2. Lol, Ella, so true, they never would recover, would they?
      --Baker

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  5. Hi Ella, you had me at the title lol, still giggling. Definitely not a gift to share, but what fun :) Looks like someone is in for a fun New Year lol.

    Wishing you, Sam and family a very Happy New Year. I hope 2017 is a wonderful year for you.

    Hugs
    Roz

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  6. I will look forward to the continuing conversation and education! :-) Hugs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who knew how much I could learn in 4 precious days! Sort of like an intensive summer school class. I will look forward to more workshops asap.

      Ella Says "Happy New Year!"

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  7. Giggling - thinking about the gift and the conversation. I wish I'd had a camera to capture the expressions as the topic arose. So wonderful to be able to speak w/o reserve or judgement. Hope we get to do it again - in full measure.

    In the meantime, make use of your gift and maybe you'll be teaching some of us a thing or two.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Sunny Girl,
    Without my glasses I never saw any expressions. Glad someone has a memory of those. It was so nice to be completely myself. I will fervently wish for the sequel.

    Ella Sincerely

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  9. Ella,
    This conversation needs to be continued big time.
    Meredith

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sign me up, Coach.

      Hugs From Ella

      Delete
  10. Ella what a delightfully entertaining post. Made me laugh with your little dare to say that ten times. Oh you are in for so much fun and just think of the conversations when you meet up with the girls again. Enjoy!

    Hope you and Sam had a fabulous, fun filled NY celebration. May 2017 bring you good health, happiness and plenty of fanny fiddling. LOL!

    Hugs Lindy xx

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  11. Ella, I'm so glad I didn't read this at the time you posted it. I had a very bad back and laughing would have hurt a lot! I hope you've had some fun with the fanny fiddlers!
    Rosie xx

    ReplyDelete