Besides all the hustle and bustle of the holidays this year, Sam and I were given the unhappy task of emptying the huge apartment of a relative who passed away recently. We have not had to tackle a job like this since the death of my mother in 2001. It never gets any easier. You realize how little all the "stuff" means without the person there who treasured those items. Boxes and boxes of
The sorting, discarding, donating, and removal is a big enough chore at any time, but it was simply an enormous amount of work alongside Christmas. We had a firm deadline, as well; it all had to be done and out by December 31st. By the 29th, we had a handle on it and all the furniture and loose items were mostly sorted into stacks. Sam had arranged for a small storage unit for heirlooms that might be claimed by other family members. I had contacted a lovely woman with an upscale consignment business to pick up the better furniture. Then there was Salvation Army coming to take the less useful furniture and at least 20 boxes of donations.
I am still learning that a successful ttwd relationship takes more than just the desire to have it. It takes time and dedication. When life demands that all your energy be directed at a situation or responsibility, ttwd starts to slip little by little. You can literally watch it disintegrate with each day it is ignored. I forget my role and to follow Sam's lead. He forgets to lead and lets me start to be the decision maker. It doesn't take long for that to turn into something ugly.
We were both patient with each other for the most part, and I think Sam was cutting me a lot of slack on being bossy. I didn't feel good about it, but there was just so much to do. I was in overdrive and not spending enough time to remain anywhere near submissive. By the time we got closer to the deadline, I could tell that what was coming out of my mouth was all wrong.
The most awful of all was when I started speaking for Sam. When the movers would ask him a question, I would just start answering for him. That went on for hours. By the time we were finally finished, Sam took me out for a simple dinner. He first said multiple "thank yous" for all the hard work over my week off work,
but then he looked me in the eye and said that we would be having a serious discussion about the way I assumed he could not speak for himself. Even after this whole, horrible day, I couldn't shut up and even asked for the check! That was the final straw. He said that we were both too worn out that night, but that next morning there would be a reckoning. He had 1 cup of coffee and then came to get me. I know I have mentioned the antique rice paddle before, but I can only tell you that it is the worst item in our toy box. Sam never uses it for play.
As they say, "Boy, howdy!" was that a paddling. I was really ashamed that I could so slip back into my old ways because of a stressful period in our lives. He never stopped the spanking as he went over each and every incident of the week before. He also went over each and every square inch of my bottom. I tried to be submissive during the spanking, but after just a short while, the pain was literally in the red zone, and I was positively out of control. Sam spanked until that stopped. I was apologizing over and over.
Besides Sam's lecture about my shortcomings the week before, he thought the timing was perfect for me to make a resolution for the new year. It wasn't just the spanking that made me agree. I am hoping that 2017 brings me closer to my goal to think before I
speak. I live for that feeling of closeness between Sam and I. My commitment to treating him with the respect he deserves is not something that can sit on a shelf and still stay strong. It needs to be polished and cared for every day.