Sam and I have been coming to terms with some big changes happening in our lives together. It would be easy to put aside ttwd right now. To slip back into our old roles. Instead, we are finding that every day we are making a conscious effort to enrich our relationship. Sam surprised me with this post, and I was very touched that he wanted to share it with both me and my readers. He was also speaking to the men out there who haven't yet embraced ttwd. When he finally agreed to be the leader at our house, he never dreamed the happiness it would bring to both of us.
You live your life and just go along. You make compromises. You love your wife the way you have been taught to love. Then you bump into something like ttwd, and you both recognize that there is something so different and so much more special from what you have always been taught. Feelings get deeper, love grows deeper, how close you both are seems so much better. All because of a secret one of you had and never talked about.
We talk about everything now, we feel everything together. It has changed my life so much, more than I ever would have expected. It has made me a better person than I ever was; it has made me a better man than I ever was. Now that we are at that place in our lives when we face the changes that age eventually brings and hits you upside the head, I just cannot say how much it means that Ella and I are so close, so together, so pulling in the same direction.
TTWD was very hard for me in the beginning. I talked about that in my long ago and first post (I am nowhere near as prolific as my Ella.) But this change has been so magnificent in its returns to her and me. She is so lovely, liberated, such a happier person - much more so than she ever was before. She has also come alive as my helpmate, my support, and my counsel. We have a saying around this house now. We don't try to explain. We don't try to dissect. We simply call it "Just Because."
Just because I love you.
Just because I need to do this.
Just because you need me to do this.
Just because it is so much better than it has ever been.
Just because I love turning your butt pink.
It is not hard to do. You just have to give up a lot of things that were embedded in your head from the beginning. Our parents, our siblings, the friends we had before ttwd, maybe even our own sons have never come close to the relationship we have now. The relationship we will always have no matter what happens down the road.
I definitely don't like to preach. Everybody finds their own way in this life. I would just say to any men out there whose wife has stepped up and was straight with you about wanting a ttwd relationship, you really ought to at least try. It will make you more of a man, and she will be more of a woman to you.
Just a few weeks ago, I was off to spend some lovely time with my youngest sister out east. Sam knows that, every so often, she and I need to be together for some SSS (Silly Sister Stuff.) I do love that girl just like when she was 5 years old.
The weather was not cooperative most of the time, but there were bits where spring broke through even though winter fought hard to maintain its bleak grip. It didn't matter a jot to us. There was laughter and hugs - good food and happy memories.
But I was surely missing Sam. I couldn't wait to be home with his arms around me. To fall asleep next to him in bed. There were other things I couldn't wait to do with my husband, too. Our wedding anniversary fell on one of my last days away, and I knew how I wanted to celebrate 2 days late. When I sent Sam a provocative email describing all the things I wanted him to do to me when I arrived home, this was his short response:
"Think a warm bottom welcome comes first."
That only added fuel to my fire. The very idea of that sort of welcome home spanking made me quiver a bit in my nether regions. I visualized us leaving the luggage by the front door and teasing each other down the hall and to the bedroom. Strip frantically and get down to business. No foreplay necessary. That was the plan.
When we walked in the front door, I turned the corner into the dining room. There, on the dark wood pub table, was a vase with a dozen red roses.
"Aww, Hon, they are just beautiful. I love the.....," and I stopped abruptly when I saw that the vase was circled with a blue satin ribbon.
The ribbon was strung off the vase and continued up toward the ceiling of the room. My eyes followed the ribbon up and then over and above the front closet door and on down the hall. I smiled at Sam with a questioning look.
"What's this, Sam?" I asked softly.
"Don't know," and he returned the smile a bit smugly.
I could have run down the hallway just following the ribbon with my eyes, but there was something in Sam's face that made me take my time; he had obviously worked hard on this treasure hunt. Thought we should savor the surprise together.
Following the ribbon with my fingertips, I felt Sam's hands on my shoulders and waist almost guiding me toward something. I was sure we were heading to our bedroom. I wondered. Would it be red lingerie or some wicked new implement? Nope. I was so surprised when the ribbon changed direction and led me into the spare room.
There on the table was a big, bright shiny new color printer - something I had asked for more times than I could remember. Wireless even!
"Cartridges are too damn expensive," he would growl. "We are just fine with the black and white one."
I really was stunned and delighted. I oohed and ahhed and said thank you over and over. I hugged and kissed that wonderful Sam until it dawned on both of us how very horny we both were. Clothes were being shed as we led each other back to our bedroom. The man lived up to his promise, and the "warm bottom welcome" was something to remember. Sam doesn't always let me see the weapons he chooses from the toy box, but I know there were 3 that afternoon. When he got to the razor strap, I was already knocking on heaven's door. The orgasm that followed was one for the record books. It felt like the spasms would never end, and my body jerked like I had electricity running from head to toe. Holy hell!
Really, how could the homecoming have been any better?
"Well," says Ella, "the story continues."
We finally dragged ourselves from bed, and later we eventually ended up back at my new printer. Sam urged me to print something, just to see how true the colors were. Since I had been planning a redecoration of our guest room, I asked my nifty toy to print a picture of a blue India batik wall hanging. Then, totally amazed at the lack of wires, I rushed down the hall once again to retrieve my first color copy. Except it wasn't the first copy. There was another page sitting warm on the humming machine.
Sam saw me look a little confused as I started to read from the page. Then I realized the words on the sheet were his. It was a letter. It was a love letter. Printed in a script font with an old clock in the bottom right corner. Could practically hear it ticking.
I took Sam's hand and pulled him to me.
"Can I read this out loud? Read it with you?" I asked.
"Of course you can, Ella."
Once I was seated on his knee, I began to read again, this time aloud. And here is the letter I found. The following are Sam's words.
**************************
It was what seems a long time ago. But then I think about it, and it seems to have passed too quickly.
I had finally arrived in "High School" and was on the track to I didn't know where. Just knew that things were getting serious from now on. There were weird politics, civil rights, there was a war, there was the draft coming up, and there was me. What was I going to do with my life? Didn't have the faintest idea about any of it.
I was walking down the hall one day, don't remember from where or to where or even what time of day it was. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a girl, somehow a girl like I had never seen before. Obviously, I had thought about girls being a hormone-driven teenager but never like this before. There was something really magic about this girl. The way she smiled, the way she talked, the way she walked, how she carried herself and something else. It was like the little pebble at the top of the mountain that rolls down the hill and starts an avalanche. And that avalanche lasted the rest of my life.
My casual glance became a full-fledged look. She took a quick glance at me and I thought, 'Not coming up to the mark, oh well,' with a great degree of disappointment. And then, just like that, the glance returned as a total look with a gorgeous smile attached. Across the hall, I heard another little pebble start a journey down the mountain.
After knowing you through all those years and all our married years, I am still ecstatic that you returned that look. I am so happy that I found you. And the avalanche continues.
Loved you then, love you now and always will.
**************************
After
I finally stopped blubbering, I told Sam it was the most wonderful
present he'd ever given to me. This combination of a homecoming and an
anniversary gift was something I will never forget. Sam was right,
though, about the avalanche. It's our love story, and there are still
some chapters to write.
Talk about a lucky woman. In the month of April, I was able to visit two blog friends who live in opposite directions across the wide USA. Yes, I have met them both in person on girls' trips in the last few years, but I had never visited them in their homes or met their spouses. It was a new experience for me, and I was so excited to see each woman in her own domain.
Although one lives in a small town and the other lives in a large city, their homes were both warm and inviting. Just different scenery out the windows. Both friends were so generous with their time and the unique locations close by that we explored together. I always love to share the sights special to my region of the country when people come to stay, and I sincerely hope both friends come to visit Sam and I one day soon. Husbands, too, of course!
Most times our homes are a reflection of who we really are. We put our stamp on it more than any other place in our world. I loved seeing each friend's style personality in the rooms of their house. The colors, the furniture, and especially the comfy places where they relax and write. One of my favorite discoveries! Now whenever I read a post they put up, I can picture them having their coffee or juice as they type and turn those spankings into stories.
And I think I examined every picture in each house, except for the ones in the master bedrooms. Art usually has a story, and it was such a treat for me to hear those stories from my friends and their dear men, too.
Visiting local restaurants or enjoying the cooking in friends' kitchens always seem to bring people together, even those meeting for the first time. A favorite Italian restaurant, a market full of fresh food, goodies from a special bakery. And it was something past wonderful to sample the local microbreweries.
So, I suppose the suspense has gone on long enough, readers. With pleasure I will let you know that my visits took me first to PK and Nick's house. When I returned home, there was barely time to get the laundry caught up before a second visit had Sam and I traveling to the home of Meredith and Jack. New airports and introductions, lots of talk, settling in, and presents, too.
Everything I have shared with you so far made these trips delightful and memorable. I couldn't thank these couples enough. But there was something else that made me smile to myself throughout both visits. It was seeing the relationship between each friend and her husband. Up until last month, I mostly knew about their relationships through the dozens and dozens of posts on these two friends' blogs. PK and her Nick. Meredith and her Jack. Actually, I think it was PK who once wrote that ttwd wives appreciate their guys in a way you don't see often in this big world. No trash talking our husbands.
So what does love look like in a ttwd home? Remember that old song, "The Look of Love" by Burt Bacharach? Here's a few of the lyrics to help you recall. It was a very pretty song, and watching each couple together made me think of it again.
The look of love
Is in your eyes
The look your smile can't disguise
The look of love
Is saying so much more
Than just words could ever say....
So here's a peek at the love I saw in these two homes.
- Heard a voice that was softer when her man was in the room.
- Watched her eyes glued on him when he was talking.
- Her hand on his knee. His hand on hers.
- Saw her smile when she read his text.
- His quick touch of her hair.
- Felt his protectiveness when he insisted she drive his car for a longer outing.
- Standing close in the kitchen and working together.
- Smiled to myself when she literally "leaned in" when he was telling a story.
- Her appreciating him opening doors for her.
- A hand reaching for a hand as they walked ahead.
- Noticing how each partner listened actively to the other.
- A kiss before he left the house.
- An arm around her shoulders as they sat together.
- His hand on the small of her back.
- Genuine laughter when he was funny.
- A smile across the room.
- Her showing concern for his parent.
- Stopping herself when she began to interrupt.
- Showing off something he built.
- The sweet and sexual tension between a husband and a wife.
If I had sat with a notebook in my lap, there were probably many more words, gestures, and examples of positive body language between the couples. Even so, one of the most wonderful things about these trips was to watch This Thing We Do in action. There were no spankings that I know about, but I surely did get to witness the love about which I have so often read when I visit New Beginnings online or check out any "new twists" at Meredith and Jack's house.
Thanks, my friends, for two lovely trips with two lovely couples.
