Words From Sam

Sam and I have been coming to terms with some big changes happening in our lives together.  It would be easy to put aside ttwd right now.  To slip back into our old roles.  Instead, we are finding that every day we are making a conscious effort to enrich our relationship.  Sam surprised me with this post, and I was very touched that he wanted to share it with both me and my readers.  He was also speaking to the men out there who haven't yet embraced ttwd.  When he finally agreed to be the leader at our house, he never dreamed the happiness it would bring to both of us. 

You live your life and just go along.  You make compromises.  You love your wife the way you have been taught to love.  Then you bump into something like ttwd, and you both recognize that there is something so different and so much more special from what you have always been taught.  Feelings get deeper, love grows deeper, how close you both are seems so much better.  All because of a secret one of you had and never talked about.


We talk about everything now, we feel everything together.  It has changed my life so much, more than I ever would have expected.  It has made me a better person than I ever was; it has made me a better man than I ever was.  Now that we are at that place in our lives when we face the changes that age eventually brings and hits you upside the head, I just cannot say how much it means that Ella and I are so close, so together, so pulling in the same direction.


TTWD was very hard for me in the beginning.  I talked about that in my long ago and first post (I am nowhere near as prolific as my Ella.)  But this change has been so magnificent in its returns to her and me.  She is so lovely, liberated, such a happier person - much more so than she ever was before.  She has also come alive as my helpmate, my support, and my counsel.  We have a saying around this house now.  We don't try to explain.  We don't try to dissect.  We simply call it "Just Because."


Just because I love you.

Just because I need to do this.

Just because you need me to do this.

Just because it is so much better than it has ever been.

Just because I love turning your butt pink.


It is not hard to do.  You just have to give up a lot of things that were embedded in your head from the beginning.  Our parents, our siblings, the friends we had before ttwd, maybe even our own sons have never come close to the relationship we have now. The relationship we will always have no matter what happens down the road.


I definitely don't like to preach.  Everybody finds their own way in this life.  I would just say to any men out there whose wife has stepped up and was straight with you about wanting a ttwd relationship, you really ought to at least try.  It will make you more of a man, and she will be more of a woman to you.