Just Thinking and Just a Little Bit Gross

Been several posts lately that have me focused on orgasms.  Not that I ever really stop thinking about them.  They always talk about how often men think about sex.  Supposedly every 7 seconds; that doesn't even sound possible.  But then I wonder about me.  It seems that I think about sex or orgasm or spanking a lot.

                                  "Try to qualify that, Ella."

                                "I don't know.  Just "A LOT."

So then, I guess, it's best to be perfectly honest.  Not all orgasms are created equal.  There's the duration and the intensity to consider.  If someone out there has another factor we should add to the mix, I hope you will share it with all of us.  I'm quite happy with the duration and the intensity.  Don't do as well if I am tired.


There is that moment right before the contractions start when you know it's coming.  I don't know if that's counted as part of the orgasm itself, but I think of it as "almost happy time!"  I did some serious orgasm research here and once the contractions start, they occur on the average at .8 second intervals.  I never thought of the speed before, but it's interesting.  For me, the contractions peak and then recede with the time between each one lengthening.  Be patient.  Be patient, Ella.  There's still one more coming, I think.  Yes-s-s-s.  Love those after shocks.

Another statistic for you.  The average length of an orgasm for a woman is 16.7 seconds while the average orgasm for a man is 25.0 seconds.  Less than ten seconds difference, but it could be argued that those are pretty important seconds.  I think that's for vanilla sex though.  With no spanking.  With no toys.  With no kink.

Probably the 16.7....(let's just round up, shall we?)  Probably the 17 seconds is for non-innovative couples.  I have questions.  If we add some spanking/kinky foreplay do the numbers change?  I say, "Yes."  If Sam and I get creative with battery-operated bedroom equipment do both the numbers 17 and 25 go up?  I say "Yes" again.  Just a little anyway.


Here's something I found when I was reading that made me feel that there are a lot of misconceptions about how the "average elderly couple" is perceived.  Kinda makes me a little angry too.

Read Research Bullshit Below!

"It should be noted that this study included men and women of all ages, and while we're sure there are a few randy grandmas and grandpas out there, the average elderly couple keep their beds apart for a reason, which could have a lot to do with all of the I-rarely-think-about-sex responses.  Also the study didn't get into the nitty gritty of 'every day or several times a day,' which is a pretty big range.  And last but not least, if a researcher asked you right now how often you think about sex, how on-target would your estimate really be?"


This quote is taken from a GQ magazine article, I could not find an author's name.


See what I mean.  By those standards, Sam and I are doing pretty damn well.  And I believe many of you would say the same thing whatever your age.  I'd love to write a randy letter to that author!


Ok, let me get back to the initial thoughts that started me writing here.  A few days ago Sam worked his fingers to the bone to make my eyes roll back into my head. (Is there a metaphor in that last sentence?) 

Anyway it was one of those orgasms that make you wonder what was its rating on the Richter Scale.  Duration??  Impressive.  Intensity??  Amazing.  But just ONE orgasm.  In my entire life, I have never had "multiple orgasms."  Scout's honor.  Have read about them.  Sam has devoted much time and effort, but a firm "no."  Has never happened to me.


But here's the part that might be a little gross.  When I experience a great orgasm in the bedroom and then head to the bathroom for a pee, I can have another shorter, more gentle orgasm just sitting on the toilet emptying my bladder.  It's very nice.  Since I've never shared this with anyone except Sam, I am damn curious if there are other women out there who have ever had this happen.  Have you ever had a mini orgasm just peeing?

Also, if you're still wondering about how often men and women think about sex, there was a study done at Ohio State University, however, the subjects were all between 18 and 25 years old.  Results said that men average 19 times each day.  Women thought about sex an average of 10 times a day.

             "So, Ella, how often do you think about sex in a day?"

                    "More than 10, for damn sure," I answered.

                                           How 'bout you?