Don't Know Who Started This Meme!

1.  Something people hate to find on their windshield?

A windshield chip.  Ouch!  Expensive.

2.  Something a man might buy before going on a date?

Gasoline.  Unless he wants to run out of gas somewhere romantic.

3.  Something you cook in the microwave.

Corn on the cob.  Cooks right in the husk.  It tastes so fresh!

4. An item found in an old man's wallet.

A Medicare card.  OR coupons for an IHOP breakfast 
                                     with other ROMEOs.

5.  Something always stocked in the fridge?

Beer, of course!  Also a new keg under the beer spigot.

This would be nice under Ella's tree.

6.  An item found in a Grandma's purse?

Pictures of her grand kids.  A phone with Southwest Airlines on  speed dial.

7.   Sport where you might lose a tooth.

Hockey.  Can't beat dem Canucks, eh?

8.  A fruit that isn't round?

Banana.  "Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just glad to see me."

Is that a Cinnabon on your head?

9.  Something you put on a Christmas tree? 

Candy canes.  Unidentifiable things your kids made in kindergarten. 

10.  Name 5 people you think will do this.

This question seems out of date already, so how 'bout......

Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, the Lion, and Toto, too! 

Bonus Question

Something you really, really want this Christmas?

A good lab report on January 23, 2019. 

Message to the Quiet Ones

 

Another year has flown by, and a few of my fellow bloggers have reminded me that it is time for LOL day.  First, as I usually do, let me explain that I prefer to call this "Love our Learners" day.  The word "lurker" has such a furtive connotation, and I much prefer to call those of you who choose to remain quiet as "learners" - learners who are not ready to comment yet.  Still thinking about what you read.  Still trying to understand your need to read a blog such as mine.

So this day is dedicated to speaking to our silent visitors.  Many, many more of you come to read my posts than ever leave a comment.  In fact there is one source I have come across that says you represent 90% of my readers.  When I am writing, I think of all of you quite a bit.  I am honest in my writing for Ella Ever After.  The events you read here really happen to me.  I don't embellish the stories to make them more exciting.  It's just Sam and I and what happens as we live "This Thing We Do".

I love to answer the readers who leave comments.  It is my way of saying thank you for taking the time to write to me.  And I think you do deserve to be acknowledged.  I try to be prompt unless life slows me down.  As for me, it helps so much to read the comments.  If something I wrote speaks to you, I would like to know that.  Then I understand who my audience is, and it becomes part of my consciousness as I look for a way to tell the next story about our relationship.  What would you like me to write about?

Not Too Creepy :)

There's a big difference between reading an article and reading a blog.  Although an article might list the author, for the most part reading an article is sort of a lonely, impersonal undertaking.  You certainly are not invited to send the author a hello or ask a question.  Blogs are meant to be more friendly.  Someone with

whom you can relate.  I have a name and you know my husband's name.  You know all the little useless information that makes me seem more human.  I have too many shoes.  I love Shakespeare and beer.  I have a temper (that is so much better since I became close to a fellow blogger who advises "Always Be Kind" and lives it herself.)  See there, you can grow and be a better person when you take a chance on making a friend!
 

Maybe you are not sure what you could possibly contribute with your comment.  But you might have a really good question or something you thought I could have included in a post.  Maybe you have a little story or a few thoughts you think others would find interesting, but you do not have your own blog.  I would be happy to consider reading your thoughts and giving you a guest post opportunity.  There is definitely a "rush" to seeing your story online to share with others.

Have you ever had the experience of stopping at a favorite coffee shop, and the folks behind the counter know what you are going to order before you order it?  It feels so nice to be a "regular".  To feel like part of a group.  To feel welcomed and understood.  That's the way a blog should feel.  Like you are visiting a special friend.  I try to write that way.  So that you feel I care.


So let's have a cup of coffee together today.  I will make a big pot of my favorite roast.  The smell will waft over to where I am on the computer waiting for you to drop by.  I will pour us both steaming mugs, so we can sit and chat together.  Like friends that enjoy each other's company.  Nothing formal.  Just Ella and you. 


                            Hurry up.  Your coffee is getting cold.  

   

Lessons Learned - Veteran's Day, 2018

         

Over the years I have thanked many a veteran for their service and not just on November 11^th.  I have never been rebuffed for doing so.  Each and every man and woman has been gracious, and almost everyone has smiled back at me.  As a teacher I endeavored to instill this appreciation of the people who have served our nation through the military in my young students.  And again, every soldier to whom we sent pictures and letters or care packages wrote us back to tell the kids thanks and how much they enjoyed them.

As I started to think that Veteran’s Day this year was coming up soon, I realized that my perspective has changed considerably in the last year.  I began to volunteer at my local Veteran’s Administration (VA) and have learned that while all my past thank-you’s were sincere and well received, I have never really understood the depth of the man or the woman who stood before me.  Never knew the stories and memories they carried in their hearts.

This last year has been an awakening for me.  I knew I wanted to give back in some small way to veterans and more than just a verbal thank you or a handshake.  When I contacted the VA volunteer service in my city, I wasn’t sure in what direction I would go.  Now I know that the direction didn’t matter.  It was the journey and the people I would meet that would become important.

I am just one person, and the time I give at the VA only touches a handful of veterans.  I'll bet I know what you are thinking.  And if it is "how wonderful that she can give something back to these deserving folks," you are not even close.  It is I who should be the most grateful.  Getting to know these men and women as people has expanded my understanding of who they really are behind the faces, behind the laughter, and behind the tears.  I am in awe of each and every one of them.

For those who saw combat, the stories and memories they carry can be a heavy load.  Just because they have completed their tours of duty and taken off their uniforms doesn’t mean they get to pack away those horrors in an old duffel bag.  They carry that burden every day for the rest of their lives.  And even in their sleep the nightmares come to haunt them.  I have come to understand that their service to the rest of us doesn’t stop when they come home. 

I am a wiser person now.  For whatever I give of my time and effort, I receive so much in my own personal growth. The next time I thank a veteran for his or her service, I will know that they did not just show their bravery and dedication once upon a time.   

                   
                        They live their bravery every single day. 

The Work of an HOH is Never Done

 

On Fridays Sam and I get some housework out of the way, so that our weekends are free and clear.

• Ella does the bathrooms
• Sam does the vacuuming
• Ella does the laundry
• Sam does the grocery shopping

Now that I am retired and Sam is "sorta" retired, we like to tackle those tasks when Sam comes home about noon on Fridays.  Just get 'er done, as they say.

When Sam walked in the door last Friday, my arms were full of cleaning supplies, and I was heading to start on the front bathroom.  I did stop to give Sam a kiss, though.  With a smile, he started pulling each cleaning product from my arms and stacking them on the chest in the entry.  When I protested that I had not yet started my cleaning, he kissed me again and said,

"I think I need to do some dusting and polishing first."

"Oh, don't worry.  We don't need to dust this week, Hon," I corrected.  (As far as I am concerned, dusting is never really needed.")

"Oh, yes we do, Ells," he said with a grin.

Then Sam took my hand and led me to the bedroom.  As he unzipped my jeans, he teased me again,

"I feel I have been remiss in my household duties."

He sat on the bed and pulled me over one of his knees.  He continued talking, and his hand rested on my bottom for a few moments.  Then Sam told me it had been way too long since he had "dusted" my ass.  He laid into this chore with relish.  It was only his hand, but, oh my, he was dusting thoroughly!

After a bit, he did some lovely rubbing, too.

"Hmmm...thank you," I said dreamily.

"Well, I told you there would be polishing, too," and I could hear the smile in his voice, even if I couldn't see it.

"Oh, I like the polishing better."

"Too bad.  We have more dusting to do."

Well, he went back and forth between dusting and polishing at least 3 more times.  Can't imagine I ever told you that Sam was a sloppy man!  Believe me, Mr Clean couldn't have done a better job.  We spent a few minutes tangled up, but then Sam stood up and said he needed to get the vacuuming done.  Many Fridays he has a "guys only" lunch date at 1:00 pm.


Hmmph!  Thrown to the side for hot wings and beer.  I went to find all my bathroom products by the front door, and got started by cleaning mirrors.  Of course, I thought it would be nice to peek at Sam's handiwork on my bottom in the mirror.  Well done, mister.  Dusted and Polished.  You're work here is done. 

He Has Spoken

It's always so much fun to hear from the husbands.  So this post is dedicated to giving them a voice.  The following are questions to be asked of your dear man.  I expect that you will need to take notes when you conduct this interview.  If it helps, use a recorder to be sure you can retell his words.  I have done this with Sam and he had lots to say!  We laughed a lot, too.

                                                       Please feel free to skip any questions that do not apply. :)


1.  If you could be 16 years old again for a day, how would you spend those 24 hours?

Get up early in the morning and take Ella to see the sunrise on Lake Michigan.  Visit the Museum of Science and Industry - downtown Chicago.  Take the train.  Have lunch at the old Berghoff.  Hit a movie in Downers Grove and sit in the back row to make out.  Stop at McDonald's.  Bring Ella home and have a beer with her mom.

2.  Name one thing your wife could do for which you would spank her in a heartbeat.  If you don't spank your wife, tell us about something she does that you find very irritating.

Slamming doors.  Instantaneously.  No question about it!

 3.  Is there a vacation destination or experience about which you have always dreamed?  Would you want to take your wife or do this particular trip on your own?

Ella and I already did it.  Normandy........  Well, maybe the old Indianapolis 500 or Watkins Glen.  With the racing regulations the way they were back in the 80's.  The old Can Am.  And I would take Ells if she were willing to go. Maybe Le Mans in France.  That would be fun.  It's a 24 hour race.  It's cool.

4.  Tell us about something your wife does that has a childlike quality to it.  It could be something happy or silly or something else. 

Singing to herself when she's happy. "Dat da da da dum......"


5.  If you are a father, what was something that you did with your kid(s) that brought you a great deal of happiness

Fishing was always fun.  With the two boys doing their little comedy show.  An all day affair.  "The great white whale.....Moby Dick" (laughter). Fishing in Michigan and Colorado.

6.  Do you see your wife as submissive?

Now and again but not consistently.  But we always rectify that with a little hand talk.  After a talk with Mr. Paddle she is most submissive.  It grounds her.  Puts things in perspective.  Ella loses perspective when she gets wonky.

7.  Which of you is the most outgoing?

Ella, easily.  By far.



8.  What is an outdoor activity that you enjoy?  
     An indoor activity?  (besides sex!)

Outdoor - Shooting.  Long range shooting.  Target shooting.  Focus - it's like golf.  It's like zen.  Like mindset.  Clears your mind.  Zen is the best way to say it.

Indoor - Reading war books with Ella at our favorite pub on a Saturday afternoon.

9.  What's the greatest car that has ever been built?


Cobra Mustang. ...427.  500 horse power. Four-speed transmission. Hurst shifter.  It was the Bullitt Car, basically.  Like in Steve McQueen's Bullitt movie!

10.  Do you like to shop for your own clothes or do you prefer that your wife do that for you? Or is the Internet the best way to shop?

Wife - by mutual agreement.  I don 't like to shop. But I do sometimes because of the pick.  Ella picks flashy clothes sometimes.  Not me.  And I don't like alligators on the pockets! The Internet will point you in the right direction - I've used it for jeans, belts, coats. 

Just Say No

11. Think about movies you like.  Are they usually ones that you and your wife both enjoy?  Or do your tastes run far from what she usually likes?

We have intersections of ones we both like.  That match.  War movies, historical stuff, political, some mysteries.  And then a whole bunch in the middle.  Ones Ella likes that I don't and ones that I like that she doesn't.  But after that, no!  No chick flicks!  And I know she hates Terminator, Walker - Texas Ranger, John-Claude Van Damme.

This is a Sam Favorite.

This is an Ella Favorite.

12.  When you are away from home, what do you miss the most?

 My lady........and my "dawg."  That's it.

Hope that some of you will give this a try with your guys.  Sometimes we only hear of them in posts as the spankers.  There's lots more to know, I think.  It seems silly, but I am most anxious to learn about their opinions of the "greatest car" ever.  Have fun!   

 

Once More for Good Measure

After a truly wonderful vacation across the pond, we came back to a disaster at our house.  A flood caused by an inept roofing company and a heavy rain came through our ceilings in 4 rooms destroying drywall, insulation, and carpet.  Luckily Son #1 knew exactly what to do and took care of hiring a reputable (albeit slow) restoration company.  The stuff that was not salvageable was removed.  The furniture in the affected rooms was piled in safe corners and covered in plastic. 

I knew ahead of time that the damage was substantial, but I just was not prepared for the reality of walking into a war zone.  Especially after over 27 hours in airports and on planes with no sleep.  Sam always says I am a wonderful person in a medical emergency.  I stay calm and do what's needed.  He also knows I do not do well when there's something big wrong in my house.  It also seemed like everything was covered in a thick coating of white plaster dust, even the rooms that had escaped the disaster.


The damage was bad enough that our insurance company had already offered to put us up in a hotel for the duration of the repairs, none of which could be started until it was determined that the new roof was actually watertight.  But we had already been in hotels and lodgings of some type for 4 weeks.  We wanted to be home with our dog.  And, believe it or not, the kitchen and the bedrooms were spared.  Just nowhere to sit down!

Jet lag was not my friend either.  We went to bed totally exhausted but I woke up 4 hours later.  For a second I forgot about the mess, but then the reality set in.  I honestly did try to get started on cleaning the white dust off everything in the kitchen so we could stock the fridge.  Also started some laundry.  There was plenty of that.  But I was tired and sad and felt so down that I just began to close off from everything and everybody.  Including Sam.  I did the tasks I usually do when we return from a trip, but the spark wasn't there.  I was not talking and went through the motions like a robot.

Sam tried to reassure me that things would be right again soon, and I would nod and try to hug him back.  But the days went by and nothing changed.  No ceilings and a filthy concrete floor where my living room used to be.  Not able to sleep through the night.  The only thing that did change was that I started to get angry.  Angry in a snarly sort of way.


It reminded me of a time very long ago when our home was burglarized.  I was SO, so angry that someone could violate our house - our space.  Screw up our lives and probably never even get caught and punished.  When the policeman asked us would we want to press charges if they arrested the guy, I rode right over any response Sam might have had.

                     "You're damned right I would!" I answered firmly.  
                               Of course, that was before TTWD.

And that's the same way I became about this STUPID roof contractor whose house was probably just fine!  Mouthing off and swearing every other word.  Sam told me to let the insurance company take this guy to court.  They would take him down over this mess. 

       I, however, said, "I'd rather skewer that asshole with a rake!"

Sam just looked at me for a second with his mouth open and finally stood up.

"That's enough," he said calmly.  "In the bedroom."

Well, one helluva spanking followed.  The paddle was out and I was over the bed.  And both Sam and Mr. Paddle did a lot of

talking.

• About not getting mopey
• About not losing my temper
• About picking a better attitude
• About staying positive
• About staying patient

It was a doozy, and I finally cried.  All the frustration and anger was released, and I couldn't stop crying even when the spanking was over.  Sam hugged and comforted me.  We would get through this together.

I did feel much better.  Well, except for my bottom.  Next morning

I woke up early and felt better than I had in 4 days.  Made the coffee and kissed Sam before I got in the shower.  Did all my lotions and combed out my hair.  Suddenly Sam was behind me in the mirror.

He took my hand and I could tell he was in a spanking mood.

"But, Sam, you already..........."

"I know," he said, "but I believe a little reinforcement wouldn't hurt."

I was pretty sure it would.  I frowned and protested some more, but this time he sat on the edge of the bed and pulled me over his knee very gently.  No implement.  Just Sam's hand.  And just hard enough to keep my attention.  He said he wanted his house back just as much as I did, but more importantly, he wanted his Ella back.  Happy and chatty and with a sense of humor.

                                   Funny how TTWD works.......

                                              Ella was back.