Sitting Pretty

Why is it so easy to give a friend or family member a compliment and so hard to give ourselves the same kindness?  I know I am not the only one who does this.  I have heard so many women talk about what they hate about themselves when they look in the mirror.  Noses and muffin tops and wrinkles.  Sometimes I talk to myself in the mirror, and it is usually not nice things.  This isn't new for me.  I have struggled with this, and I know other women do, too.

The thing is Sam tells me I am pretty about 10 times a day.  I think he first told me back when we were 15 years old and falling in love.  For as long as I can remember, he has called me his "Pretty Lady."  Of course, I love that he tells me that.  But do I really believe him?  Rarely.  This does bother Sam sometimes and over the years we have talked about this insecurity of mine now and then.  He gets frustrated.

So there's a story here somewhere.  Sam has really made the move toward semi-retirement.  Hooray!  He will probably always keep his hand in the business, but he is very excited about traveling more, and he has started to volunteer his time at a cool science/history museum here where we live. 


I love seeing him take the time to do things that make him so happy.  He has been going to the museum several mornings a week for over a month now.  Although he is thoroughly enjoying himself, he has mentioned that people don't seem to be all that friendly.  I assured him that once he has been there for a little longer, folks would get to know him better and that would resolve.

Then this last week there was a Brown Bag Lunch Lecture being given by a retired scientist for the volunteers.  Sam asked if I could attend, and that was fine.  We picked up some Subway sandwiches on the way and found the classroom at the museum.  Sam introduced me to several people before we found a table.  The volunteer supervisor welcomed me warmly. 

The lecture was fascinating, and the presenter was well prepared and a good speaker, too.  After the man finished, Sam gave me a grand tour of the facilities.  We were both familiar with the museum already, but he took me to the back where the workshops and display preparation were located.  Then on to the administrative offices.  As we meandered through this maze of rooms with people working at their different tasks, Sam introduced me to everyone.  They were most welcoming and we chatted with many of them.

One of the men, who worked mostly on restoration of the science equipment, stopped and greeted us.  He shook both our hands and asked Sam to introduce me to him.  

"Jim, this is my wife, Ella," Sam said.

The man smiled at us, and questioned Sam, "This is your wife?"

"Yep, she's been my girl since we were both 15 years old."

"Well, Sam, I want to tell you that the day you met her, was your lucky day," Jim said.

I thought he was a really nice man, and we stopped at several more stations and talked to some other employees.  As we made our way through the last set of offices, one of the men I remembered from the lecture room came up and introduced himself to me.


"I'm the museum director here," he said, shaking my hand.  "We are so glad to have Sam coming to volunteer.  He's doing a wonderful job.  Thanks for coming to the lecture.  Please come next month.  They are usually quite good."


Sam went his way after this, and I had errands to do.  When he came home from work that night, we sat together over our evening beers.

  

"Well, you were surely popular today.  That is the most anyone has talked to me since I started there," Sam smiled.  "I am always so proud to have you with me anywhere we go.  You are so pretty and personable that people are just drawn to you."

"Oh, don't be silly, Sam.  People were just being polite," I said.

"It's true, Ella.  It happens everywhere we go," he continued as he started down the hallway to change into his comfy jeans.  I followed and was putting away some laundry as he took his shirt off.  Never like to miss an opportunity to rub my nose in the hair on his chest.  One of my favorite ways to say hello to my man.  I love his scent.  He pulled me close.

"God, you are such a pretty lady," and Sam's hands rested on my bottom.  "Hmmm...it's been a while since we've had a 'just because' spanking.  I love your pretty ass all pink."  

And with that he unbuttoned my jeans and pulled me across one knee as he sat on the edge of the bed.  

"Damn, Ella, I am not kidding you, you know.  You are beautiful," he said as he spanked.  Very - spank - Very - spank - Very - spank - pretty.

"And you are very, very full of it, mister," I protested.

"What?  Are you disagreeing with me?  This is not a good position to be in if you are going to argue with me.  Who's the boss?" and the spanks got a little faster and a little harder.

"You are!  You are!" I laughed.  "Ow, Sam!"

"Then say it, Ells.  Say, 'I am pretty' for me," Sam insisted.

"No, you know I am not going to say that," I answered.

Well, that was the wrong thing to say, and Sam's hand began to work over my bottom like there was no tomorrow.

"Say it, Ells," he repeated.

"I can't, honey."

"Say it," he demanded, and the spanking cranked up again.

"Say it for me," Sam laughed.

"Ok!  Ok!  I'm pretty," I finally gave in.  

"Again, louder this time," he said, and his hand never paused.

"I am pretty!  Damn you, I am pretty!"

Sam's hand rubbed my sore bottom softly, and said, "See, that wasn't that hard, was it?"  He pulled me up to sit on his lap a minute before we walked back to enjoy our happy hour together.  But when my very warm bottom hit the dining room chair, I could not help but think that Sam had had his way.  No matter what I thought of myself in the mirror, he had me "sitting pretty." 

    

The Ancient Chinese Art of ..........

Bet you expected to see the word "Spanking" at the end of the title.  Well, I will discuss spanking, but not until a bit further in this post.


When I was teaching years ago, I always felt the stress of the job.  It's just part of the profession.  Oh, there are a few teachers who would say with saccherine sweetness that just being around all those precious children was such a joy and that they felt relaxed and at ease as they filled those little minds with nuggets of wisdom.  But I only met a couple women like this who were so delusional that they farted rainbows.  And I will tell you honestly that they were not very good teachers.  The kids usually ran the classroom, and it was chaos.  The really good teachers I knew loved their kids and loved teaching despite working long hours at school and then taking work home at night and on the weekends. 

Then throw in a plethora of useless meetings, a few student behavior  problems, federal guidelines, state mandates, non-existent budgets for supplies, and I will stop there.  After I left teaching for a 9 to 5 job, I felt like I was on vacation. 


You get the idea.  Stress was a big deal for many years.  When you feel stress, there is actually a chemical reaction occurring in your body.  Your heart rate quickens, muscles tense, and your breathing becomes faster.  Too much to do and not enough time.  I never took this out on the children, but I carried the stress around looking for ways to unload the it.  Exercise helps.  But one day I read an article about how some people go to an acupuncturist to relieve their stress.  Traditional acupuncture involves the belief that a "life force" circulates within the body in lines called meridians.  It sounded a bit scary with the needles and all, but after several other teachers touted its benefits, I decided to take the plunge.

I made an appointment with a lovely Chinese doctor named Dr. Chen, who came recommended from a friend.  We talked a long time on the first visit.  She took a regular medical history, and we talked about what acupuncture is meant to do.  Dr. Chen also gave me some interesting things to read.  Then she had me remove or loosen some clothing and lay on the table.  She made me perfectly comfortable with pillows and her very soft and gentle voice.  Then she showed me what the needles look liked.  This first time I was very nervous when I saw how long they were. 

It was amazing to me that there was hardly any discomfort.  She would wipe a cotton ball moistened with alcohol on a spot before she deftly inserted the needle  There were a few places where she would tell me to take a deep breath and hold it for a second.  The needles were on my head, face, ears, arms, hands, stomach, legs, and feet.  Obviously I was laying perfectly still.  Dr. Chen made sure I was comfortable, dimmed the lights, and put on some very soft music.  Then she left, saying she would check on me soon.


Within a few minutes, I felt almost like I was having an out of body experience.  The relaxation became deeper and deeper until I felt like my mind had separated from my body.  Like you could hold it in your hands.  Had never had an episode like that before.  It was heavenly.  I was dimly aware that the doctor was back in the room.  She gently put her hand on my shoulder and asked in a murmur if everything was all right.  I made a soft little sound of assent, and she was gone again.

I was never sure of how much time was passing when she left me alone.  Probably close to 30 minutes, I think.  When it was time to end the session, she would bring the lights back up slowly and remove the needles, again using a cotton ball.  The first time I had this done, she spent time talking to me about how I felt and making sure it had been a positive experience.  It had been, and I felt like every bit of stress in my body had melted away.


Needless to say, I booked another appointment.  Although I had weekly appointments for the first month, I soon had the sessions scheduled for once every 4 weeks.  It was relatively expensive, even though my health insurance covered some of it.  I think I was paying about $75 per visit.  At that time I really couldn't afford more than once a month.


Dr. Chen was very helpful to me after my series of strokes.  Once I was able to drive, I went back to her.  She chose other sites for the needles depending what you told her was going on in your life.  I saw her on and off for many years.

Then, in the summer of 2014, I finally got the courage to tell Sam who I really was.  Of course it was several months before we were up and running in a sort of ttwd learning period.  It was even longer before Sam ever thought about spanking me when he saw me all worked up and heading toward a meltdown.  I really can't even remember (common for me) the exact circumstances, but he spanked me because I was stressed out.  And something magic happened.


                      Oh, my, I thought, All the stress is gone.

I felt that same peace and positive feeling that Dr. Chen provided with her needles and voice and restful lighting and music.  I didn't know whether to kiss Sam or write him a check for $75.  He had his own brand of aftercare.  He pulled me onto his lap and held me for as long as I wanted. 


                  "That was wonderful, honey.  Thanks so much.  
                             I feel worlds better,"  I said softly.
  

All my hard edges were gone, and I was smiling.  I even remembered that amazing feeling during the middle of a long, slow spanking where you kind of lose yourself.  Very much like that out of body feeling that gave me so much pleasure.

Again, I am sorry that I cannot say for sure if I went down on Sam after that first stress relief spanking.  Pretty sure I did.  I always think it is the very best way to say thank you to my guy.  He seems to think so, too.  I believe it was shortly after this wonderful spanking that I ordered a book titled:  


       Blow Him Away: How to Give Him Mind-Blowing Oral Sex.

Three important things came out of these chapters of our ttwd life.

• Saved $75 a month - easy, peasy.
• Ella became a much more relaxed woman.
• Sam became a much more motivated spanker.

Thank you, Sam.  You take good care of me.

Welcome, Nora Jean !

It wasn't really that long ago, that I remember being introduced as a new blogger in the land.  I was shy and very unsure that I could write anything of interest or even manage the tech end of Blogger.  Then Meredith pushed me out of the nest, and told me to fly.  That turned out to be a very special push.

Well, another blogger has hatched, and, this time, both Mere and I are ready to help her take flight.   

Have you ever met someone new, and the very first time they smile, you know you will be friends?  I think that happens online, too.  As soon as I read Nora Jean's first greeting, I knew she was going to be a sunny new face in the blog neighborhood.  Meredith and Ella say please stop by to welcome her and her Frank at...

                                     Living a Loving Life

The 2018 Winter Meme Olympics

Hope you have been exercising your wits and training your typing fingers.  It's time to see if you are ready to compete in this exciting Olympic event.  As far as I know, we have several countries represented already.  Hopefully, we will have participants from the United Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, and the United States.  Only time will tell who is bringing home a gold, a silver, or a bronze medal.  I only hope you can sing your national anthem better than I can hit the notes in "The Star-Spangled Banner." 


Before you all start to worry, this event does not require a skin tight spandex outfit.  Just some sharing of special memories, a sense of humor, and time to get your thoughts down in a post.  If you are not a blogger, Ella says, "pretty please" choose a question and share your response in the comment section below. 

 

1.  If you could go back in time to when you were a child for only one day, what would you want to do?

There are so many things that come to mind.  The very first thing I would do is run.  I would run and run until I finally had to stop, and then I would catch my breath and run some more.  Cannonball off the high diving board.  Riding my bike down a steep hill.  Have a chocolate phosphate at a soda fountain.  Playing catch before a baseball game.  Play Olly, Olly, in Free by the street light.  A chess game with my dad.  Run some more!

  

2.  What is your favorite poem?  Why do you think it speaks to you?  If you do not have one, please tell about the lyrics to a special song.

Absolute favorite is "The Lady of Shallot" by Alfred Lord Tennyson.  There is a very special rhyme pattern in each stanza of this lengthy poem.  Sort of a fairy tale or legend.  It is the tragic story of a woman under a curse who is alone in a tower and weaving on a loom.  She falls in love with Lancelot who rides by on his way to Camelot.  The meter is especially lovely and makes this a beautiful Arthurian poem to read aloud.

 3.  Name something you wish someone would invent.

Don't know how many of you will remember the original Mr. Peabody, and his boy, Sherman.  That was a long time ago on the Rocky and Bullwinkle show, but I loved their adventures in the "WABAC" machine.  I love history and I wish someone would bring that cartoon invention to life so I could go back in time.  There are so many historical figures I would like to meet and a chance to experience the history with my own senses. 

4.  Think of the phrase, "There oughta be a law..."  We have all said it over something we think is an injustice - silly or serious.  What is your idea of a law that ought to be? 

My law would regulate unscrupulous lawyers who go after people, encouraging them to sue with the promise of huge settlements.  The only ones who get rich are the despicable lawyers themselves.  The rest of us foot the bill for these outlandish suits in the form of higher insurance premiums and healthcare costs.  Makes my blood boil.



5.  What sort of amenities would there be in your dream kitchen or bathroom?  If you could remodel, what would you do?

We remodeled our kitchen back in 2004, and I still love it.  One feature that raised the eyebrows of our contractor was that I wanted one color wood on the top cabinets and another color on the lower ones.  I also chose chairs that do not match and a beer tap in the counter.  It is really quite a small kitchen; if I could remodel now, I would definitely build out to make a big, roomy space with an island.

6.  What do you love about winter?  What do you hate about winter?

This is a tough one for me.  I am truly a summer person.  However, I do love the quiet and beauty of a peaceful snowfall.  I love my fireplace, too.  And Christmas!  Just hate cold temperatures and having to drive on icy streets.

7.  Tell us one thing about your mother that you have truly tried to emulate in your life.  Tell us one other thing about your mother that you swore you would do differently. 


My mom was quite funny and silly.  Sometimes she was like a child that never grew up.  I loved that about her and think I tried to be like that for my boys.  They still talk about some of the goofy things we did together.  My mom wasn't a very good housekeeper, and it used to drive me crazy.  She also had no taste in decorating.  By the time I was 11 or 12 years old, I painted, decorated and cleaned my own room.  Think that is why I am sometimes too tidy.



8.  What was the most special gift you received this Christmas .... even if it is not something you can hold in your hand?  Please tell us why.

Sam and I went shopping for my gift together while we were away on a long weekend in early December.  He wrapped up the coat I chose in paper anyway and put it under the tree.  The coat was lovely but not a surprise.  The card that accompanied it was a very special one.

                                               "A coat - 
                                            To keep the most 
                                      beautiful girl in the world
                                                  warm
                                           Merry Christmas
                                               All my love,
                                                your Sam"

9.  Tell us about a regret you have from childhood.  It could be something you wish you hadn't done or something you wish you had.

Temper has always caused me regrets.  One day I was very angry at my mother, and I threw a can of Campbell's soup at her.  Luckily

my aim was off, and it hit the wall.  She didn't say a word, but tears came to her eyes immediately.  She closed herself in her bedroom and cried for a long time.  I was horrified at what I had done and sat outside her door sobbing until she eventually came out.  She did forgive me, and I hugged her until she finally smiled at me.



10.  If you were being sent off forever to a desert island and there was only one book you could read for the rest of your life, what would it be and why? (This is hard!  If needed, you could award an additional book as 1st runner up.)

From my college days, I still have my Riverside edition of the Complete Works of William Shakespeare.  It weighs about 8 pounds, but I doubt that I could ever get bored with the selections of the comedies, tragedies, or histories. 

Runner up would be my Annotated Sherlock Holmes.


11.  Name 3 qualities you look for in a friend.

I think the first thing would have to be honesty.  Also important is a sense of humor; I love a friend who can make me laugh.  Finally, I would say loyalty to all the people you count as friends is something I expect when I trust a friend with my love. 

12.  What is the oldest book you own?  Does it have a special story behind why you have kept it?

The oldest book on the many shelves in our house is actually from Sam's family.  It is the Holmes History of the United States published in 1880.  It is an old textbook bound in black leather with gold stamped lettering.  This book has been passed down in his family for many generations.





13.  Not that they would necessarily accept your advice, but what bits of guidance would you give to a young person in today's world.

Find a partner you love and treat them with care and respect.  A long term loving relationship is your biggest chance for happiness.  Get as much education as you can and never quit learning.  Put down the screens and live in real time before life passes you by. 

 

14.  What is your favorite comedy movie?  Tell us why you think it is so funny.

With no hesitation, it is an epic comedy film from the 60's named-

                        It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. 

 A large cast of the era's great comedians play a group of characters in a madcap pursuit of a suitcase full of stolen money.  It's really hard to pick a favorite, but I think Jonathan Winters is high on my list.  Our boys and I know much of it by heart and can issue quotes for any life situation.   Several years ago, the boys asked what I wanted for my birthday, and I told them I just wanted to make popcorn and watch that movie with them, just like when they were kids.  Gosh, we had fun.

15.  Are there calendar dates that always make you sad or reflective?  Name one and tell us why it affects you this way. 

As I roll through the calendar wheel of each year, I smile to remember so many happy days - birthdays and anniversaries and reunions with loved ones.  But the sad days still bring great emotion and tears.  Maybe even a trip to the cemetery.  Of all those sad days, September 11, 2001, is the hardest for me.  Some how, some way, I always pay tribute to the victims of that horrific day.  It was a defining moment in my life.  

                                     We must never forget.

Ella Through the Looking Glass

                            "Who am I then?  Tell me that first..."


Have any of you ever been inspired to write a post after reading one from another blogger?  It happens to me quite often.  Sometimes just mulling over the words of someone else, brings a thought or a fresh viewpoint on a ttwd topic to me.  Like we were all sitting together having coffee, and one of us says something, and then there are 3 other people who jump in with a story or thought.  Maybe 3 more jump in, and suddenly there is a lively discussion.  We not only benefit from the interaction, but we take away a bit of something that is meaningful to our ttwd experience. 

I am very thankful that you are all out there giving me new things to think about every day.  Your posts, comments, and stories too, make me reflect, and that is where this post was born.

                                   "Which way you ought to go 
                           depends on where you want to get to.."


"Reflect" is the key word above.  I started to think about where Sam and I began on this adventure.  How we had arrived at where we are today with ttwd.  Thinking back.  It was like I was seeing myself in a looking glass.  Talking to myself.

• "You are not getting any younger, Ella."
• "What if I tell Sam and he doesn't love me anymore?"
• "What if he laughs?  I couldn't bear that."
• "Why am I different from everyone else I know?"
• "Maybe there is something wrong with me."
• "Where do I want to be a year from now?"
• "Am I brave enough to tell Sam who I really am?"

I kept staring in the mirror and it felt like I was standing on a precipice and something important was about to happen.  I could see a new and happier Ella in the glass, and I wanted to be her so much that my heart ached.  If only I had the courage to go there.

Then I stepped through the glass and, sitting on the floor in front of him, I told Sam who I really was.  Poor man hardly knew what to say.  He just looked at me as if he really didn't know me.

                                         "Who ARE You?"
            This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation.
                                    Alice replied, rather shyly, 
                           "I...I hardly know, sir, just at present..."


I gave Sam several things to read.  First, there was a list he himself had written back when we were young and first married.  It was about sexual fantasies he had.  We had exchanged these lists as part of an exercise on how to know each other better.  I had saved this piece of paper over decades of our marriage.  The look on his face was total confusion, but he was smiling, too.  He tried to ask me questions, but he really didn't understand where the discussion was headed.  

                                        "The time has come
                                            The walrus said 
                                       To talk of many things..."

"Sam, I want to be spanked."

He began to ask questions and I tried to answer.

"This is something I have always wanted - something that has been with me every day of my life.  It is not just a fantasy that I want to play in the bedroom.  This is who I am, mister.  I hope you can love me."

                        "I am so Very tired of being all alone here."

And that was when Sam fell down the rabbit hole.  We talked and touched and Sam learned to spank.  We fell in love all over again, and between us there grew a closeness we had never known before.  It really was a wonderland.
  

             "Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go round."


There were weeks and months when I pinched myself.  If this was all a dream, I surely did not want to wake up.  It was just Sam and I in our own little world.....until I started to think about other women like me.  For my whole life, I had believed that I was the only person who needed spanking in my life.  Now I knew there were others.  Was it possible to know them?  To write them?


                      "For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things 
                  had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think 
                 that very few things indeed were really impossible."

And so Alice, I mean me...I mean I... wrote a "First Hello" and life changed again.  When I stood in front of the looking glass this time, I saw other women standing with me.  I wasn't so strange after all!  I wasn't alone.

                      "We're all mad here.  I'm mad.  You're mad."

With a grin, the Cheshire cat helped me find my way, and I met so many lovely people.  It was really rather like a Mad Tea Party.  I was so deliciously happy and felt that I had found a place where I fit in and was accepted.  The "real" me was accepted.  Who would have ever thought life could have changed so much in so short a time?

                                   "Curiouser and curiouser."

If I turn around now and gaze back into the world on the other side of the looking glass, I look so small.  Ella didn't even need a potion for her metamorphosis.  She grew into who she really wanted to be, and it started with just one step.


                             "Have I gone mad?  I'm afraid so.
                                 You've gone entirely Bonkers.
                                   But I will tell you a secret,
                                     All the best people are."