Thursday, November 10, 2016

Ella and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

First, I need to explain that I lifted this title from a beloved children's picture book by Judith Viorst about a boy named Alexander.  I read this book to my own boys long ago, and Son #2, who had red hair, always identified with Alexander.  It was a favorite of my kids at school, as well.

It tells of the misfortunes of Alexander who could tell it wasn't going to be a good day when he woke up with gum in his hair.  And it didn't improve, right down to lima beans for dinner.

About halfway through yesterday, that book popped up in my head and stayed there.  From the crack of dawn I was having a very bad day.  I woke up to dog barf all over the living room carpet.  I'm pretty sure it was the younger and dumber of our 2 dogs because she seemed to have a guilty dog look on her face.  She will eat anything, including rocks, grass, and wood chips.  Then she will promptly chuck it up on the rugs (never on the tile, which would be so much easier to clean.)  So rug shampooer was out at 4:30 am.

Traffic was horrendous even though I was out of the house early for a 7:30 am meeting.  There were 2 cars going 30 mph right next to each other, and there must have been 10 pissed off drivers stacking up behind them.  Have I ever mentioned that I easily lose my temper when driving?  Well, I damn well do!  It is even one of our rules.

At work I realized that some a#@!%hole stole a dessert out of the common area kitchen fridge.  A co-worker tried to cheer me up by saying maybe it was some young, starving resident working the night shift at our medical facility.  That didn't go down with me well at all.  It even had my name on it!

Then the handle of the rolling cart I use at work to transport heavy items over distances was stuck and wouldn't collapse.  With my usual dose of patience, I decided to just smack the thing.  Well, the sliding metal tube finally did collapse and took a huge chunk out of my pinky.  By the time I got the blood staunched, it was all over my clothes.  The day was getting better by the minute.

Next, the IT guys showed up at my desk and said they had to install Windows 10.  I was instantly suspicious.  When we did that on Sam's computer at home, it was a godawful mess, and we finally had to call in a network specialist to put everything to rights.  My guy at work, Tony, said not to worry; he would make sure everything transferred cleanly.  Right.  Nothing got done the rest of the day.  I would make a list of 5 things that were wrong and each time I would go ask Tony to come work some more.  It is still not right.  I was not a happy camper. 

                                 Microsoft can kiss my ass.

Worst of all, it screwed up my Pandora account!  I can't work without Pandora playing.  The final straw was I cannot have my desktop countdown clock gadget.  I have always had one set to my next vacation right down to the days, hours, minutes, and seconds.  I think this is cruel and unusual punishment, and I am holding Bill Gates personally responsible.

By 2:00 pm I was already thinking about Miller Time and being home with Sam.  The only thing that was working correctly was my email, so I wrote to Sam looking for sympathy.  Older Son, in an effort to cheer me up, teasingly sent me an email that said,

                             "Well, take that frown and turn it 
                                   upside down, little lady."

Luckily that boy knows I love him and did not take me seriously when I told him where he could shove his little platitude of happiness.

My sweet man came out to meet me when I pulled up at home about 5:30 pm and did indeed have a glass of beer waiting for me.  He listened to my bitching patiently, but finally came over and started unzipping my pants.

                              "I think you need some attention.  
            Something to put the whole day behind you," he smiled.  
                                   "Just because I love you."

I smiled back.  Probably the first time all day.  My goodness, with every swat of his hand, the tension melted a bit more.  Lots of rubbing, too, which was heavenly, as well as his soft and loving voice.  It's like Sam unscrews the top of my head and pours in a big pitcher of patience and sweetness.

Sat on my honey's lap and pounded several beers.  My favorite place to sit.  Hugs, kisses, and lots of happy talk.  Don't need anti-depressants or therapy.  I've got Sam and ttwd.  So Ella's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day had a Happily Ever After in spite of life's attempt to bring her down.

                              Tomorrow's bound to be better.


  1. Dear Sweet Ella,
    I absolutely love the statement that Sam was able to pour in a pitcher of patience and sweetness right in. I'm very sorry your day was so horrendeous, but so thankful that Sam was able to set it right again. Praying today is a brighter day for you!

  2. Well that was one horrendous...hopefully all your 'yuckies' struck on the same day. But it did have a wonderful ending....amazing what a beer or a glass of wine, a rosy red bottom, and a loving place to snuggle will do:).
    Hope today is better..
    hugs abby

  3. Oh Ella , I know I am a horrible person but this post made me laugh. Seriously I am sorry you had a s**t day and gald that Sam could improve things. Hope today has been better
    love Jan, xx

  4. Oh my goodness Ella, that does sound like one horrendous day! I totally relate on the driving thing, I'm exactly the same. So glad Sam was able to turn the horrendous day a lot sweeter at the end. It's amazing what a few swats and cuddles can do :)


  5. Oh my, what a horrible day that was. Glad Sam rode in on his white horse and saved the day.

  6. Wow Ella...that was a bad day. I do love your graphics...I also have been know to use every curse word I know in one sentence. ;) So happy Sam was able to turn that frown upside down. :) Hope today was a much better day.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

  7. I'm sorry about this day! Boo!
    I'm glad Sam helped make things right....the beer did some of the work I'm sure!
    I sometimes just go to bed on days like that!

  8. Oh Ella, what a horrendous day. You wouldn't want those too often. thankfully your Sam had the cure with a beer, swats and snuggles.
    Hope things have improved now.
    Hugs Lindy xx

  9. You know I believe you - but having met you, I can't picture the temper. Sounds like your day ended well a in the end having a wonderful husband says it all.

  10. love that book...but sorry you had a day as least if you moved to Australia you already know some friends from there...but I digress...glad your hubby was there for you and returned you to a good state of mind...and hopefully today has been a much better day. :-) Hugs

  11. Ella,
    We have all had days like that ....... where the best part of the day is under covers saying good night to a day gone wrong! Tomorrow is always a new day! Right?

  12. I love what you said about not needing anti-depressants or therapy, you've got Sam and ttwd. Such a true statement that made me smile from ear to ear. Have a fantastic day today!

  13. Awww Ella!! I'm so sorry about your very rough day! :( I adore that book, and read it to the kids many times. The title is so fitting!

    I too agree with what Laurel said above! Such a great statement... a wonderful statement!

    There is absolutely nothing better than sitting on the lap of the one that we love! Oh wait a minute... there is... it's sitting on their lap, after a most loving spanking has washed away a difficult time or day! Add your beer (I'll take a chard please- LOL), and well, what could be better than that? I'm so glad that your icky day ended just like that! Many hugs and love,

    <3 Katie

  14. What a ghastly day, Ella, everything that could go wrong did! Thank goodness for your loving man, providing beer, stress relief and a Happy Ever After.

    Rosie xx