Thursday, November 10, 2016
Ella and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
First, I need to explain that I lifted this title from a beloved children's picture book by Judith Viorst about a boy named Alexander. I read this book to my own boys long ago, and Son #2, who had red hair, always identified with Alexander. It was a favorite of my kids at school, as well.
It tells of the misfortunes of Alexander who could tell it wasn't going to be a good day when he woke up with gum in his hair. And it didn't improve, right down to lima beans for dinner.
About halfway through yesterday, that book popped up in my head and stayed there. From the crack of dawn I was having a very bad day. I woke up to dog barf all over the living room carpet. I'm pretty sure it was the younger and dumber of our 2 dogs because she seemed to have a guilty dog look on her face. She will eat anything, including rocks, grass, and wood chips. Then she will promptly chuck it up on the rugs (never on the tile, which would be so much easier to clean.) So rug shampooer was out at 4:30 am.
Traffic was horrendous even though I was out of the house early for a 7:30 am meeting. There were 2 cars going 30 mph right next to each other, and there must have been 10 pissed off drivers stacking up behind them. Have I ever mentioned that I easily lose my temper when driving? Well, I damn well do! It is even one of our rules.
At work I realized that some a#@!%hole stole a dessert out of the common area kitchen fridge. A co-worker tried to cheer me up by saying maybe it was some young, starving resident working the night shift at our medical facility. That didn't go down with me well at all. It even had my name on it!
Then the handle of the rolling cart I use at work to transport heavy items over distances was stuck and wouldn't collapse. With my usual dose of patience, I decided to just smack the thing. Well, the sliding metal tube finally did collapse and took a huge chunk out of my pinky. By the time I got the blood staunched, it was all over my clothes. The day was getting better by the minute.
Next, the IT guys showed up at my desk and said they had to install Windows 10. I was instantly suspicious. When we did that on Sam's computer at home, it was a godawful mess, and we finally had to call in a network specialist to put everything to rights. My guy at work, Tony, said not to worry; he would make sure everything transferred cleanly. Right. Nothing got done the rest of the day. I would make a list of 5 things that were wrong and each time I would go ask Tony to come work some more. It is still not right. I was not a happy camper.
Microsoft can kiss my ass.
Worst of all, it screwed up my Pandora account! I can't work without Pandora playing. The final straw was I cannot have my desktop countdown clock gadget. I have always had one set to my next vacation right down to the days, hours, minutes, and seconds. I think this is cruel and unusual punishment, and I am holding Bill Gates personally responsible.
By 2:00 pm I was already thinking about Miller Time and being home with Sam. The only thing that was working correctly was my email, so I wrote to Sam looking for sympathy. Older Son, in an effort to cheer me up, teasingly sent me an email that said,
"Well, take that frown and turn it
upside down, little lady."
Luckily that boy knows I love him and did not take me seriously when I told him where he could shove his little platitude of happiness.
My sweet man came out to meet me when I pulled up at home about 5:30 pm and did indeed have a glass of beer waiting for me. He listened to my bitching patiently, but finally came over and started unzipping my pants.
"I think you need some attention.
Something to put the whole day behind you," he smiled.
"Just because I love you."
I smiled back. Probably the first time all day. My goodness, with every swat of his hand, the tension melted a bit more. Lots of rubbing, too, which was heavenly, as well as his soft and loving voice. It's like Sam unscrews the top of my head and pours in a big pitcher of patience and sweetness.
Sat on my honey's lap and pounded several beers. My favorite place to sit. Hugs, kisses, and lots of happy talk. Don't need anti-depressants or therapy. I've got Sam and ttwd. So Ella's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day had a Happily Ever After in spite of life's attempt to bring her down.
Tomorrow's bound to be better.