Thursday, December 15, 2016

The Fine Line Between Teasing and ......Something Else





One of the most wonderful things about ttwd for Sam and I is how much fun it is.  We laugh and talk almost non-stop when we are together.  We both tease and love to hear the other burst into giggles or snickers or downright howls.  Nothing can make me crack up any harder than teasing - my teasing him and him teasing me.  And nothing can make Sam any happier than my uncontrollable laughter.  He will hug me to him so hard when I take off on one of these gut-busting episodes, that I cannot get my breath.




I know this happens to many of you, too.  It makes me smile to read such posts where the teasing and the laughter bring a couple so much joy.  But have you ever noticed that there is a fine line between the teasing that can make your husband laugh and having it become something else entirely?  Instead of the chuckling you expect, there is suddenly an entirely serious look on his face.  This is where I always notice Sam's eyebrows come together, and whatever preceded this facial expression, does not seem the least bit funny to him anymore.  It happens here every so often, and there is usually a story that goes along with it.



Note the Eyebrows


If anyone were to ask either Sam or I who was the neat freak or fussy partner at our house , we both would agree that it would be me.  I am usually quite organized and tidy.  Sam could mostly care less what things look like or their state of cleanliness.  I have to be sure to think about how I speak to him when I find myself asking him to clean up after himself.  This used to be a sore spot, and I have definitely changed my choice of words and tone of voice now that ttwd guides our relationship.  And he really does try.





Anyway, I am the compulsive picker-upper.  There are far fewer things about which Sam gets nitpicky.  However, he would be quick to tell you that there are a few.  Even though I tell Sam that I am "Practically Perfect in Every Way," he usually just snorts.  There have been bits in some posts I have read where the blogger reveals that a husband has a little QUIRK about something.  I remember someone who was expected to put the clean laundry away in a timely fashion.  I think there was another whose husband insisted that sharp knives be promptly washed and returned to their place.



That's me!


Sam's quirk has to do with the trash compactor bin that rolls in and out from under the counter in the kitchen.  Ours is a tight little galley kitchen, and the compactor saves precious floor space.  You step on a little panel at the bottom and it slides out.  Then you deposit the trash, push the bin, and it tucks neatly back under the counter.  When I get busy, though, it is easier to leave it out until I come to the end of a task.  And sometimes I even forget then.  This drives Sam crazy.  He wants that bin back where it belongs each and every time.  He reminds me nicely and then not so nicely.




"Ella, can I see you, please," Sam called from the darkened kitchen after dinner.

I had just settled on the couch with my laptop and was not eager to jump back up again.

Wisely, though, I said, "Coming," instead of, "What?"

"Did you forget something?" he asked as he motioned toward the kitchen with his head.





In the glow of the stove light, I saw the compactor sticking out and knew I had forgotten.  I smiled at Sam and walked straight across to push the bin back in.  My mistake was that I thought this was just a light-hearted reminder.  With my only intent being to tease him a bit about being such a fuss-budget, I purposely said to myself under my breath, "Grumble, grumble, grumble," as I passed on my way back to the living room.




"What did you say?" Sam asked instantly.

I smiled again and said, "Just grumbling."




He did not smile back even a little bit.  This surprised me because I thought it was pretty funny.  It surprised me even more when I had my first standing up spanking.  I have been bent over the kitchen counter, dining room table, and washing machine, but Sam had down my knit pajama bottoms in a flash and just tucked me under one arm and proceeded to spank with his other hand.  Besides realizing that he did not think this was teasing, I also understood fairly quickly that this was not just an "I love you" spanking.  A bit too hard, if you know what I mean.




It was over quickly, I rubbed my bottom, and got my pajamas back in place.  Sam pleasantly reminded me to push in the trash bin and dropped the matter.




So how's a wife to know, I started thinking.  It's not like there is a big "HOH Traffic Light" hovering above his head.  Oh, be careful of the teasing, Ella!  The signal is heading from the green laughing zone, past the yellow caution light, and on into the red danger zone!  At least I would put on the brakes if I knew what was going on in his head.


  

In the end I decided that this spanking was really more like being stopped by a cop, but just given a warning. It wasn't a full blown traffic citation.  
       

                          "Just be careful in the future, Lady."  

                                Next time it will be a ticket."


That means you, Ella!



      

29 comments:

  1. We all have our bugaboos. My husband says I've never met a drawer or cabinet that closes - mind you I don't leave them gaping but never close them tightly. Love the way Sam addressed the situation.

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    1. I think it was the "grumbling" that provoked the situation. And, yes, Sunny, I do like the drawers closed all the way - closet doors, too. I love that word "bugaboo."

      Hugs From Ella

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  2. Hi Ella, I think they just like catching us unawares to be truthful. My hubby will seize any opportunity for fun!
    love Jan, xx

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    1. Sometimes, though, I step over that line, Jan. The fun spankings are my favorite.

      Hugs Across the Pond,
      Ella

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  3. I could have written much of this.....I love, and Master does also, that we can make each other laugh out loud. That we share the same somewhat quirky sense of humor. I have a "thing" about having all the cupboard doors closed....I learned that slamming them shut as a reminder to Him is not a good idea...nor is mumbling...just loud enough for Him to hear. I agree...reminders are better than a ticket.
    hugs abby

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    1. A kindred spirit, Abby! I have been known to slam things myself. It does not end well.

      Ella

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  4. I laughed when I saw the title of this post, Ella. I've crossed the line between teasing and attitude a few times, most recently Tuesday evening. Those traffic lights would really be handy, especially if they flashed a 'don't cross the line' sign. Glad you didn't get a ticket.
    Rosie xx

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    1. Rosie Girl, I love the idea of a flashing light! There would be big letters to warn "CAUTION!" No ticket. My driving record is clean.

      Hugs Across the Pond,
      Ella

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  5. Ella,
    Sometimes I wonder if ttwd is alive and well here. I have leaned to lean in and things can seem downright peaceful. Then something just like this very thing happens and I know my guy loves his role and I had sure better remember mine. So your post sounds just like all the things that happen right here. Glad things have smoothed out.
    Meredith

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    1. That wonderful feeling of being connected and being silly together is something I would not trade for all the money in the world. I always see that joy shine through the words in your posts, Mere.

      Ella

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  6. Hi Ella, I am the compulsive tidier here too. It drives Rick nuts lol.

    There definitely is a fine line between teasing and asking for trouble and I think most of us have probably triped over it from time to time. A warning signal would be great. I love your analogy to traffic lights and the warning from the nice police officer :)

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Roz, you are a compatriot in the quest for neatness. My mother was not a tidy woman, and I always think that I became neat out of some survival instinct. With Sam I really do have to watch that nagging doesn't creep in.

      Hugs From Ella

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  7. Ella maybe you Sam just looks for any excuse to spank. I know my Bear is at the moment. I think its helping him to cope with things.

    Hugs Lindy xx

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    1. You are probably right, Lindy. I certainly don't mind a bit. Your point about it helping Bear to cope would make for an interesting post.

      Sending Hugs Downunder!
      Ella

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  8. And I can't buy a serious HOH with a mint! I could tell Nick to F**k off in true anger (not that I ever would), but he wouldn't bat an eye and it would never occur to him to spank me for it. I'm so glad Sam takes TTWD seriously at times.

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    1. PK, Sam loves the silly times most, but will turn serious when I least expect it. As far as swearing is concerned, Sam does not mind me swearing at all, as long I never swear at him. If there was ever a recorder running when I am driving, you would learn words that you have never heard. I like being creative when I cuss.

      Remember, Girl, I am the kind of friend that would be in the cell next to you. Glad you liked the card!

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  9. Teasing easily tips over into something more serious. Don't go getting that spanking ticket.
    hugs
    DF

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    1. Just doing the speed limit, Officer.

      Love,
      Ella

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  10. Ella, I did smile. I can say truthfully that I've crossed that line just a few times:) I think our men just like any excuse to spank us.

    Traffic lights - don't cross the line. That's a good one Rosie.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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    1. Rosie's comment made me think of that Crime Scene Tape they use. Can't complain, Ronnie. I like that Sam draws a line.

      Hugs Across the Pond,
      Ella

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  11. ROFLMBO Ella...that "grumble, grumble, grumble" cracked me up. I agree, that traffic light can go from green to red with just a hint of yellow in a New York minute! Would be lovely if there actually was a light over their heads. Oh and thought bubbles would be nice also. ;) Keep up the grumbling...oops...I mean giggling. ;)

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

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    1. Oh, Cat, I so love the thought bubbles! Someone could turn that one into a hilarious post. Yes, the giggling is usually safe.

      Hugs From Ella

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  12. LOL Ella! :) Traffic lights and thought bubbles would be great HoH mood indicators, informing us how far we can go with the fun! But alas, it does seems that there are times when they are aching to connect their hand to our bottoms, no matter what we do! LOL!

    Seriously, we do all have our things- us of them, and them of us. I like things picked up too. I also think that it takes no effort, when you wash a good knife, to quickly dry it and put it back in the butcher block thing! More recently, Rob has issued warnings about me forgetting to turn a light off (usually that is upstairs in our bedroom). He told me that it is fast becoming a spankable offense. So far, so good! Go me! Haha!

    Your "grumble grumble" (lol) reminds me of a little incident that happened last week. I will have to write about it. Keep on laughing with your spanky man! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

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    1. Goodness, Katie, I forgot all about the flossing at your house! I should have included that in my list of quirks.

      Actually you and Rob were part of my inspiration for this piece. I laughed so hard when I read about him following you up the stairs.

      Hugs From Ella

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  13. Ella,
    The one thing about ttwd that has amazed me is that we do tease again. All the time. We also engage in tickle wars, which used to be something of the past, but now, well, they usually lead to wonderful embraces and other equally lovely things. I too wish my man had a stoplight or warning sign flashing because I find myself teasing and it turning into something much bigger in his eyes and my bottom being warmed because of it. Lol, sometimes I cannot help myself though. (Giggling, I think he likes me on the sassy side though)
    --Baker

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    1. Yes, that is the best. Teasing makes us feel like kids again. When it leads to bedroom activities, that is just the icing on the cake!

      Ella

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  14. Ella and Sam:

    Off topic and late again: To Sam: Congrats to standing up to your toxic sister. Its hard but likely the only thing that will work. Ella: Does Smithfield bakery still exist? I googled it but could not find anything. I lived in Berwyn many years ago and want to see some old haunts. As for teasing and a warm bottom, good for Sam!!

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    1. Wolfman, I enjoy your visits even off topic. When I was writing that post, I tried to find out if Smithfield's was still there. Couldn't find a thing. It seems the older I get, the more I like to think about those places and people from childhood.

      Do you remember Brookfield Zoo? Good god, my dad took us there so often.

      Ella

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  15. I am sure it would be all too easy to step over the line of teasing - HOHs should have some warning sign on them so you know when it's all play and when it's time to be serious. :-) Hugs to you

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