I know most everyone sends texts to their spouses, and most of the time texts offer some privacy to the couple. If you want to include something very personal or suggestive, you can be fairly sure that only your partner is going to see it. I do love the feeling that I can let Sam know I am thinking of him or finding that he is thinking about me. The little glitch for us is that Sam does not text and more than that, he doesn't ever want to. I will certainly send out an celebratory post, if he ever changes his mind. I have dozens of bad-girl texts just floating around in my head.
However, we do email often as we are both still working. And even if I don't have anything special to say, I am required to file my "Flight Plan" by 4:00 pm each work day so Sam knows when I am off work and if I have errands before I come home. I do not forget this duty often, and if I do, a spanking will see to it that it doesn't happen again for a very long time. Such a nice part of ttwd is missing him whenever we are apart. Of thinking of him during my work day and smiling. Of watching the clock and seeing how long it is until I am home again with him. Feeling his arms around me and tucking my head into his neck.
At work, I am not at my desk for 8 straight hours. There are many responsibilities that take me away from my computer. But when I am working at my desk, I think of Sam often. Since he owns his own business and works almost exclusively at his computer, email is an easy and quick way to communicate back and forth throughout the day even it is just about mundane or ordinary things. "I am stopping at the grocery store. Do you need anything?"
I am always very careful of what I put in emails from my workplace. The medical facility at which I work would not smile upon unseemly messages. That doesn't stop me though. It's just more challenging when we want to say something personal. It is quite common for us to use "code" words in certain emails. Like many of you I am sure, we also code our ttwd lives verbally when we are with others. I really find it great fun to have a spanking conversation while sitting with a bunch of friends or family and no one else understands our code.
While I was perusing illustrations for this post, I stumbled across another research study! This one would be more of what is called "behavioral" research.
"Couples who use secret , just-between-us codes have greater relationship satisfaction than couples who don't," according to a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. I read the complete article and discovered that our "code" talk is more than just fun. Using nicknames and made-up language is an easy way to inject positive communication into everyday life. In fact, it's probably the single easiest thing you can do to keep romance going strong.
So I started to compile a listing. I should think that most couples both of the ttwd persuasion and those who are not, have more than one way to hint that they would appreciate some sexual attention. It can be as simple as putting your hands on your man and asking if he would like to "fool around" or "play." Really, sometimes the touch is all that is needed. A bit of electricity about the skin contact.
- "Mmmm..., I am really hungry," with a certain look in your eyes will be answered with, "Me, too."
- "So enjoyed Sunday morning. Let's do that again soon!" means thank you for the great sex. There could be a spanking acknowledgement included in this, as well.
- Here's one I heard from a friend. "Tired of the self serve pump. Just not as good of service as my regular guy."
- When I kneel in front of Sam and start to unbuckle his belt or unzip his pants, I softly say, "I just want to say hello." It is a perfect code to send earlier in the day. It is amazing what the anticipation factor does for a blowjob.
There are some code phrases that most ttwd wives will recognize with no explanation. I think I have heard one of these on almost everyone's blogs or in a story at one time or another.
- "We will discuss this later."
- "I think we can talk about this when we get home."
- "You are playing with fire, Ella."
- "In the bedroom, NOW."
Then there are happy meetings of his hand and my backside. If there is a "Just because" in the text of what either of us write, it means there will be some "good girl" attention lavished on my bottom. That always makes me smile at my monitor, even if there is a really boring staff meeting coming up in 5 minutes.
From our early dating years and even once in a while all these years later.... the word "fiercely" meant we were so in love and felt such a passionate urgency, like we might crush each other just hugging.
"Practically perfect in every way," is a wonderful tease. Sam rarely disappoints me with this one. After an interjection such as "HA!" there is usually some spanky action in order.
An old one that we still use when a topic seems to be a sore spot between us is, "Let's be friends," followed by some hugs. Humor is the best way out of some differences. We don't use this as often because there are really not that many disagreements anymore.
Most days when I file my flight plan by email, I request that Sam "save me a seat." That is code for I want to just sit on his lap and have him hold me a good long while. And every single day, I sign my notes to him in a way that acknowledges he is my HOH and deserves my respect.
Love you, mister,
Here's hoping some of you will share
a bit of your secret language with all the rest of us.