Thursday, January 18, 2018

Just Shy of a Baker's Dozen




Baker wrote a set of very interesting questions.  It was somewhat like a meme, but the questions were directed toward bloggers who had spanking relationships or fantasies.  It was, however, easy enough for any reader to respond to just one of the questions in the comment section.  Clever girl, that Baker.




1.  Are you an introvert or extrovert or somewhere in between?  What about your HOH?

Think I would be somewhere in between.  When I am in a new group of people, I take my time.  Listen and watch.  Then I will enter the circle slowly.  Once I am at ease, though, I am anything but shy.  However, I never really consider myself among friends unless it feels comfortable to be silent, too.

Sam is much more social than he used to be, thanks to his awesome wife.  He is still happier in a small group than in a large one of new people.



2.  At what age did you realize that spanking was something you were into, and at what length did you go to hide it?  Did your HOH know?  For those of you who began your marriage with spanking, do you think anything from your childhood helped you to be more accepting of the spanking lifestyle?

Don't really have many memories before I became cognizant that
there was something that drew me to spanking.  Perhaps I was 4 or 5 years old.  I never told a soul, as a child or an adult.  Finally told Sam about 5 years ago.  Late bloomer, I guess, but we are making up for lost time.



3.  Do you know anyone else in your family who practices DD, TTWD, etc.?  And how did you come to learn that they did?

No, I do not have any family or friends that have ever given any indication that they have the same kind of relationship as Sam and I do.  We know several couples, however, whose marriages would be greatly improved by the practice. 


4.  Are you a homebody or outgoing?  To me this is different than being an introvert or extrovert.  You can be an introvert and still love to go to museums or a ball game.  You can also be an extrovert and love to just have people over and entertain in your home rather than going elsewhere.





At first this question confused me because, to me, "outgoing" means friendly and warm and sociable.  I think, in this instance, Baker intends for it to mean someone who is fond of going on outings or traveling. 


Again, I would have to say, "somewhere in between."  I am perfectly happy staying at home.  Music turned way up for chores.
Baking or writing or a "project."  Coffee and exercising.  Up early and out in my garden just after the sun is up.

But I love, love, love to plan a trip or outing!  By road or air.  Near or far.  Just for the day or several weeks.  I even like the packing.  




5.  How do you view blogging?  Is it an outlet?  A way you process?

My view of blogging has certainly evolved.  Meredith was my mentor here and encouraged me to start writing.  She was actually the 2nd person in the whole world who knew the real me and my feelings about spanking.  Blogging back then was a very big step toward discovering other women like me.  I guess it still is.

It has become a very creative outlet.  I have always loved writing, and blogging has given it a purpose.  One thing that I didn't expect was the growth and clarity it has given to our ttwd relationship.  Without the blogging, I think I might stagnate.  We have to reinvent ttwd all the time to fit who we are and what life gives us.




6.  What tendencies do you see in your DD or TTWD friends and bloggers?  Warning - this one may be sensitive to answer.  I am in no way trying to criticize .  These are simply observations or things that may be similarities between us.

Gosh, I really love this question.  And I have loved reading other bloggers' responses, too.  I don't think I disagree with anyone so far.  I do see strong women who meet life with hard work and a special devotion to their family.  Certainly, the women I know are private as far as what is revealed on the web.  That is just common sense, as far as I am concerned.  

I see women who have secure and strong marriages.  Educated and quite literate.  They have great love for their husbands, but I think, whether they knew it or not, they were searching for more intimacy with their man.  Not just sex, although that is an essential piece of the puzzle.  More like a connection of the soul.  Deep down there is a part of each woman I know that wants to be cherished and cared for.  I don't really know if ttwd is the only way for that to happen, but for me and others, I think, it was the road to fulfillment.


  

7.  Are you a love of the printed word?

Oh my, yes.  My father used to read regular "grown-up" books to me as a child.  The stories of O'Henry were one of my favorites.  I could read chapter books by the time I was six.  I was an English major as well as an education major.  I worked very hard in my teaching years to gift the love of reading to my kids.  If anything, I love Shakespeare more now than I did when I was 18 years old.  No snootiness at all, though!  I have embraced spanking fiction with a passion.  Sunny was an author I enjoyed before I ever blogged.  




8.  Do you view yourself as a submissive?  

Oh, this is a difficult one to answer.  I try so hard, and I think Sam would say that, once in a while, I succeed.  I think he is happy that I strive to be the best I can be for him.  It makes me feel better that when I slip up, Sam is there to straighten me out.  

I am a person that was used to saying, "Yes, sir," and, "Yes, ma'am," long before ttwd.  It did not come from my childhood, but something I observed in a classroom that I greatly admired.  I always spoke to my students that way, and, very soon, the kids spoke the same way.  True respect is always earned, not required.  I naturally speak that way to Sam now.  My "mister" always deserves my respect.




9.  Last question.  What traits do you see in your HOH that help you follow his lead?

You know, Sam has really grown into his role as HOH.  He was not at all sure about ttwd at first.  In fact, I should repeat that he absolutely hates the term, "HOH."  Thinks that "Head of the Household" sounds like something a census taker would say.  He may not like the name, but he has definitely become the leader in our life together.  When I forget, he has a look and maybe a quick swat to remind me that he knows how to cook pasta as well as I do.  

The most important traits have to be his intelligence and the love he shows me every day.  I have always felt that ttwd helped Sam to embrace being male and for me to embrace being female.  We feel so much more in tune to who we really are.  I would follow him anywhere.   




Thanks for the fun, Baker!




20 comments:

  1. Excellent answers! I'm always amazed at how alike we all are.

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    1. That is so true, PK. That's why I thought Baker's questions were so good. They opened my eyes as to what draws us together.

      Hugs From Ella

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  2. Ella,
    Loved reading your post............. Baker designed a good one here! I like the way you addressed how the women of ttwd that you know think about their marriages. You describe us well. I love that statement that Sam knows how to cook pasta too and the swat it earns. That happens here all the time! Submission comes and then it goes, only to be pulled back on track. My guy loves leading. So if I can just curb the bossiness, things would remain smooth. HA!

    We are away right now on a sun break and I will do this meme once we return.
    Meredith

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    1. If there was a sign that should hang up in my house, it would be about watching the bossiness. But then I think that Sam would be so bored if I were a perfect submissive. He always has plenty of valid reasons to spank.

      So Says Ella

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  3. Great post Ella. Reading everyone's answers really bring together how similar we all are - just like PK said. Guess that's why we're friends - it's easier to be friends with someone when they know you and your idiosyncrasies.

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    1. Thanks, Sunny. Maybe that is the definition of friendship. We have enough in common to feel comfortable, but the differences keep it interesting.

      Hugs From Ella

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  4. Your insight, Miss Ella, is always something I value. You were able to get "the gist" of how I view outgoing and being a homebody. And I wholeheartedly agree with the idea that we all desire within us for a deeper connection with our men. Good thoughful answers and much thanks for joining your thoughts with the others.
    --Baker

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    1. Kudos to you again, Baker. These questions were wonderful and reflect how much ttwd means to you and your guy. I think we all struggle trying to understand why we are the way we are. Hope I figure it out some day.

      Hugs From Ella

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  5. Well more can I add that has not been written in the comments above...I agree...and thanks for sharing...hugs abby

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    1. Thanks for stopping by, Abby. I surely enjoyed Baker's efforts with these questions. We all had the opportunity to share some deep thinking.

      Hugs From Ella

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  6. Hi Ella, these are great questions from Baker and I enjoyed reading your answers. I think many of us have a lot in common and a common desire for a deeper connection with our men. Ut seems the fascination with spanking for many of us also began fairly young.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Hello there, Roz,
      The deeper connection is the most amazing gift I have ever received. In the beginning, I think it surprised us both more than anything else. When something upsets that connection, a spanking is what brings us back together.

      Sending Hugs Down Under,
      Ella

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  7. Really loved reading your answers Ella. Your husband sure does have an awesome wife and you have an awesome HOH.
    Hugs Lindy xx

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    1. Sometimes Sam reads my posts, but I don't think he has this time or I know he would have said something about the "Awesome" description!

      Another Sending Hugs Down Under!
      Ella

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  8. Loved reading this post, Ella, thanks for sharing your insight.
    Rosie xx

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    1. Glad you liked it, Rosie. I will say it again and again. We are all so lucky that blogging gave us a chance to know other women like ourselves. TTWD was a lonely secret to keep.

      Hugs Across the Pond,
      Ella

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  9. awwww..."I would follow him anywhere". This is great, Ella. I really spent some time thinking about what you wrote for number six and I completely agree. I also agree that we know some couples ttwd could create lasting changes in their whacky relationships!
    Amy

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    1. You are right, Amy. Number 6 was my favorite question and one I had not really pondered in depth before. I believe strongly that I never really understood the meaning of intimacy before we lived with ttwd.

      Hugs From Ella

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  10. wonderful answers...thank-you your for sharing your heart :-)

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  11. I really enjoyed this piece, – thanks so much for articulating fantasy v. reality in such a sweet, engaging way. A pleasure to read!

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