Thursday, August 2, 2018

The Naked Ride - The Definitive Expose'


Lady Godiva - The Original Naked Ride


It seems to me that there is a lot of confusion out there in The Land about what exactly is being referred to with the titillating phrase, "Naked Ride."  It is time this problem was addressed.  Actually, it fell to me to write up the rules for all the Beach Sisters who were involved in this activity.  After 3 years of confusion, here we go.  


What do spanked wives do when they get to vacation together?  Well, first and foremost, spanked wives like to talk about spanking.  Sex might be a close runner up.  Anyway there is also swimming, beaching, reading, lots of good restaurants, moderate drinking, more talking, laughing, sharing, shopping, walking, implements,  husband appreciation discussions, laying by the pool, more moderate drinking, and finally - playing cards.




The first year we all traveled to see and meet each other (some for the first time,) PK asked us to all bring quarters.  "Poker!" I thought.  Hot damn!  Once I learned the game, though, I wasn't sure it could be counted as a poker variation other than we were playing for money.  Let me mention that while we all had lots of fun, PK is a better writer of spanking novels than she is a card game instructor.  Maybe one of the reasons the other women (including me) had so much trouble grasping the rules of the game is that, as we played, PK kept saying things like, 

                          "Oh, I forgot to tell you about this rule."
  
             I believe that this prompted Meredith or Sunny to finally ask, 

                          "Are you making up the rules as we go?!?"




"The Naked Ride" is actually a strip card game based loosely on the rules for "Thirty-One."  The rules for 31 are really simple if you are given them all prior to starting play.  You use a standard deck of 52 cards, and there is definitely some strategy required.  We were playing with 4 to 6 people, but you could probably play with more.  Of course, you can just play with your lover, too.  The object is to obtain a hand that totals 31 in cards of one suit.

Card Values -
  • Ace - 11 points
  • King, Queen, and Jack - 10 points
  • 10 through 2 - face value




Please remember that the only way cards in a single hand have any value is if they are in the same suit.  For instance, a player with a Jack of hearts, a seven of hearts, and five of clubs would have a hand worth 17.  A player with an Ace of spades, a 9 of spades, and a Queen of diamonds would have a hand worth 20.

Each player starts with 3 quarters, well, that is, if you are playing with a bunch of girlfriends.  PK explained that if she is playing with her Nick, they each have on a certain number of articles of clothing.  The dealer shuffles and deals out 3 cards to each player, and the player to her left is the first to play.  The dealer places the remainder of the cards in the center and turns over the top card, face up, next to the pile.  This becomes the discard pile.


That's PK in the middle changing the rules again.


The player on the left of the dealer chooses either the top card from the discard pile or one from the deck, and then discards one card on the discard pile.  A player who has 31 can call the hand at any time.  He or she just lays down the cards, and everyone must pay a quarter to the "pot."  




However, even if a player doesn't have 31, he or she can "Knock" rather than drawing a card.  Here is where the strategy comes in.  Even early in the hand, if the player thinks her score can beat the score of even just one other person, she can take a chance and knock.  The person with the lowest hand forfeits one of her quarters (or an item of clothing.)  Everyone else gets to take one more turn before all players lay down their cards.  Alcohol makes all of this more exciting and funny.  Just saying.


To figure the scores, the players select the suit that gives them the highest score.  The one with the lowest score at the end of a hand, puts a quarter in the pot or takes off a piece of clothing.  Here is one of PK's variations on the strict 31 rules.  If you are playing with your husband, at the end of each hand the winner gets to administer the number of swats between the 2 scores and can pick the implement as well.





With the girls, the game continues until all but one player has been eliminated.  Some fun-loving ridicule adds to the fun.  This is also a place where you can question PK if she decides to add another rule! 
  

OK.  Now fast forward to when all of someone's quarters are gone or all of someone's clothing is gone.  You get to play one more hand for as long as you continue to win the hand, and this is called

                                 "Your Naked Ride" 

seeing as you are naked.  What happens after you lose or win is up to you and your partner.  If you are playing with a happy group of other spanked wives, you pour yourself another glass of wine and carry on.  Unless you have had way too much sun and way too much to eat at dinner, and then you go to bed.



 







26 comments:

  1. Wow that was clear. I've never heard of or come across this game (or 31) but it does sound like lots of fun! probably even more fun when the rules get made up along the way too! sounds like you ladies had a grand old time!

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    1. Thanks, Fondles. This year I took notes as PK repeated all the rules for us. I have not yet played it with Sam, but there are plans.

      Hugs From Ella

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  2. Golly, I am speechless at the thought of you all sitting round naked playing cards! lol
    love Jan, xx

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    1. Trust me Jan, we didn't get naked. We reserved that for playing with out SO's.

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    2. Goodness, Jan! The naked instructions are for you and Hubby. We all like to drink a bit, but there is no naked allowed at the girls' table! Just good, clean fun.

      Hugs Across the Pond,
      Ella

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  3. Jan, find your speech lady! ❤️ No naked playing among friends. The only things that Beach Sisters lost were quarters! Haha! Well, Rob lost a bunch of quarters as well, because I brought a bunch on the trip, from his dresser stash! LOL! I lost a few, won a few too. Did not make me rich. HA! Did make me laugh! Always such fun playing!

    The strip version is reserved for time alone with one's hubby/partner. Thanks so much for writing the rules down, Ella. I had forgotten them again! I wonder if I can get Rob to try the strip version some day? Sounds fun to me. :)

    PK brought a great game to the table that first year. We are still laughing about it all, three years later. Way to go, PK! Nice job Ella! Loved your post! Many hugs,

    ❤️Katie xoxo

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    1. Sweet Katie,
      I think I broke even on quarters this year. Or I spent it on a special IPA for dinner. Don't remember. The laughter is free, thank goodness!

      Just had to tease PK. That is the most fun of all.

      Hugs From Ella

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  4. Never heard of the game before, but I can just imagine you all sitting there playing it. I think I'd be laughing too much to play.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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    1. Ronnie,
      You start by opening up another bottle of wine (beer for me)and putting out some snacks. Sometimes we are already in our pajamas before the game even begins. A good time is had by all. Win or lose.

      Hugs Across the Pond,
      Ella

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  5. Ella, I really suck at that game, as you’ve witnessed! I think I lost all the quarters Katie lent me. It’s a lot of fun though and the competition gets pretty fierce! I’ll have to save your instructions and memorise them on the plane next time.
    Rosie xx

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    1. Oh, this made me laugh, Rosie! So that's where all of Katie's quarters went. Perhaps you need to practice with your guy before next year. Then you can be the card shark.

      Hugs Across the Pond,
      Ella

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  6. I did not make up rules as we went along! I was just used to playing with people who already knew all the rules - so I forgot to explain some at first. They were just mad because I won the first year.

    Now Jan, where is your mind girl? Seeing other women near my age is no an attraction for me and I'm sure it's not for them. Playing with Nick, however, is another story.

    You did a great job with the rules Ella.

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    1. Hmmm? That sounds like a good explanation, my friend, but it is more fun to tease you. And yes, you did win big that first year. But we love you just the same!

      Hugs From Ella

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  7. Ella,
    Great job nailing the rules. I now call the great card game "Naked Ride". Fun and easy for sure.
    Meredith

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    1. Thanks, Mere. And yes, that is the official name for this card game. It just has a nice ring to it.

      Hugs From Ella

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  8. Hi Ella,

    Thank you for enlightening us, I have been curious as to how the game works. Sounds like a lot of fun! It's always even more so when one makes the rules up on the spot lol.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Hello there, Roz! So glad your tech problems have been rectified and you are back among us. Perhaps we should get Katie to take some pictures next year. I think PK doth protest too much!

      Sending Hugs Down Under,
      Ella

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  9. This looks like a great deal of fun! You ladies are wonderful! I think we just may try a game of "TNR" (we use code words for everything in our house - never know who hears what)! Have to say, I loved reading all of the comments as well!

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  10. Hello there, Deena,
    Thanks for stopping by. I always love your comments. Code words are helpful when there is family to consider. I really like PK's version with some spanking thrown in. It would probably be me taking the swats no matter who won the hand.

    Hugs From Ella

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  11. OH Ella, This was so fun. I've got a new card game to play and a new phrase that will surely become an enticing foreplay for Eric. As a matter of fact, I think we can play this even while he's away. We can Facetime, I can deal over the phone and promise not to peek at this cards, and we can battle it out to see who gets naked first. Either way, we will make it fun. Thanks for the post!
    Amy

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  12. Good idea, Amy! Never thought of it as a long distance game. I wonder if there is an online game out there. If you succeed playing this with your Eric, please let us know. It is lots of fun!

    Hugs From Ella

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  13. thanks for detailing all the rules of the game! :-) Hugs

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    1. Terps, I sincerely hope that someday we can play together again. You are part of the sunshine that we enjoy so much!

      Hugs From Ella

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    2. thanks, Ella...I hope so too ♥

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  14. Sounds like a lot of fun. May have to share it with the Duke. lol. :)

    EsMay

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  15. I’m still smiling at Jan’s comment!
    PK I’m on your side! I’m kind of a tangential talker myself!
    Fun Ella!

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