Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Dear Blogfriends,

There's a holiday this weekend and several days off work for me as well.  I should have a big smile on my face and be doing my Happy Ella Dance.  I'm not though, and instead, I am wishing the weekend was over.  While I was busy dreading the upcoming days at home, I suddenly thought of all of you out in blogland.  I love the way you all support each other through hard or challenging times, especially if spanking is involved.

Sam has 2 older sisters who I will refer to as Patty and Selma.  I am not a big Simpsons fan, but I do know who they are, and, boy howdy, there are some striking similarities.  One sister, Patty, lives in town near us and is pretty much a constant thorn in my side.  The other sister, Selma, and her husband are coming to visit for almost 4 whole days.  They are both bossy know-it-alls with everyone they meet.  I try to love them, but it is hard.  If they manage to form a friendship outside the family, they usually alienate the person fairly quickly.  So I don't think I am the only one they pick on,  but I don't have the advantage of being able to ignore them.


  • If I am cooking something, Patty is sure to tell me how to do it or how another utensil would work better.  
  • If I am putting on my make-up or doing my hair, Selma will tell me how refreshing it is when a woman doesn't care how she looks/is natural.
  • If I am cleaning up the kitchen, Patty will make a big deal out of helping but will never finish, saying, "Well, that's good enough."  And Selma will tell me she values her guests too much to spend time to tidy up.
  • When the kids were young, Patty would tell me how her child never had that problem.  Selma would tell me that I let the baby cry for 8 1/2 minutes.
  • When working on either of my degrees, Selma would say how hard it must be on Sam and the kids.
  • If I turn down a piece of cake, Selma will tell everyone what a shame it is that women worry about their figures.  Patty will say, "Oh, she never wants to have any fun.
OK, enough.  You get the picture.  And so does Sam.  He knows they are a pain in the arse, but he expects more of me.  Patience and good cheer and a kind heart.  I know I will be talking with Mr. Paddle before they arrive.  (I just realized that would be tonight, Ladies.)  This spanking will be a BIG reminder of who's in charge and what is expected.

This sign hangs in our kitchen.  I really do need a good attitude for this weekend, and I really need your good advice.  Or at least some positive energy.  Please send anything that you think might help.  I will check my comments and email for some wisdom or love from you.  And thanks, friends.


  1. Oh, I've got this for you girl! When these 'ladies' start you simply picture all your blogging friends lounging around your kitchen, living room wherever saying all the things you want to say but can't because you're being the good girl. In the kitchen I'll be saying, "Bitch, you think you can do better get off your ass and do it so Ella can get a glass of wine and put her feet up." Minelle might be saying, "If she looked like you she'd be using a paper bag instead of make up." Maybe Cat would tell them to plan on cleaning the kitchen to perfection or maybe to take you all out to eat instead of just being hateful." There are many of us - picture us all around making all the comments in your head and secretly hi-fiving. It won't make them go away but at least you'll have them confused as to why you have that little grin on your face all the time.

  2. Oh Ella, Would you like to come and stay with me this weekend? A quick trip to England and you could escape these witches, I hope you survive without a spanking
    love Jan,xx

  3. Oh honey, I like both PKs and Jan's idea!
    I will tell you I have been down this road before.... While I have been known to make my feelings apparent, I can do it nicely while gritting my teeth. Sometimes I will wait till my Scotsman looks my way, and visually let him know what is happening! Then he knows to be hyper vigilant with the person making rude comments. Often saying something like how great a cook I am, or whatever.... Works.
    Sometimes I may even get a sentence in about how that person is annoying the he#* out of me.
    Then I put it in perspective and realize it isn't about me.... It's about their feelings or insecurities!
    And..... Believe it or not.... I eventually became the one they come to for help and opinions!
    Good luck hon!

  4. Ella,
    We have all been there before. I suggest ABK...... Always be kind. Asking Sam what he wants you to do and leaning into just that.
    Let us know how things work out.

  5. I love PK's suggestion and while we're saying all those things, just keep saying Thank you for that suggestion, or idea or yes it is or anything. Kill them with kindness, they won't realize or acknowledge it, but you'l't feel better knowing we're saying what you can't.

  6. Hey Ella...I really do like all the suggestions that have been given...especially Pk's, Minelle's and Sunny's.

    Imagine if you ex-husband was the youngest of 6 kids (4 girls) with the 5th child being 8 years older than him and the oldest being 20 years older so I basically had 5 mother in laws telling me how to take care of their baby. I would simply smile at them and say thank you for the suggestion while in my mind I was saying "kiss my a$$ b*tch" along with a few other choice phrases.

    I also like the idea of taking them out to dinner...make it a buffet so you don't have complaining about what someone doesn't like...and dishes to clean up!

    Just picture us sitting at your table crossing our eyes at your SILs, flipping them off and making rude comments. Will leave you with one of my favorites that I say quite a bit "While sliding down the banister of life, I'm one of the pleasant little splinters in your a$$!"

    Sending lots of prayers and positive energy your way.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

  7. I don't think I can improve on what has already been said, but I understand your problems completely and even now, at my age, have to bite my tongue occasionally when my MIL says something that pisses me off - and says it totally unintentionally.

    Once upon a time I would have been like a hissing cat, but now I simply answer "You may be right." And then I move on to other tasks or other topics of conversation. It always works and stops people in their tracks when they realise that I don't agree with what they are saying, but that I won't rise to the bait.

    Certainly, there have been a few occasions when it has all been too much and my inner bitch/troll has risen like a cobra, but mostly since we started TTWD the thought of lowering myself to their levels prevents me from joining in or giving a nasty repost.

    The important thing is that you discuss with Sam how on edge you get. Ask him for his help in avoiding any unpleasantness, and try to stay as near to him as you can despite this being difficult. I love the suggestion that you go out for a meal to a buffet restaurant. Very good idea!

    I do hope things go better than you anticipate. Deep breaths and a handy bottle of wine have been known to help as well!

    Let us all know how you got on.


  8. Hi Ella, :) You have such wonderful advice here- not much that I can add. Think of me as one of your friends from the land- I'll be the one pouring you the wine, and putting it into your hand. You can do it!

    My best advice is to lean on that fella of yours. Rob's family is equally tough. Back in the days before ttwd, I was often left on my own to deal with it all- and felt as though Rob would not stick up for me- or stop his mom, for instance when she would get going. Those behaviors of theirs continue on at times, but I now realize why he did not do that back then. Now as the HOH Rob is there for me, he knows and he will kindly but firmly tell her to stop. Or he will give me a knowing smile that reminds me that he is with me. SO talk with Sam about it all. How (beyond the spanky stuff) he can help you to feel that he is with you if the going should get tough. With that in place, and us right there with you in spirit, hopefully things will be better.

    Will be thinking of you! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

  9. Ella...first of all all I could think of while reading this was Grrrrrrr!! Those damn ladies - how dare they!! And then I read PK's response and I gotta tell you, I am in line with her!

    Sweetie, I am praying for you all weekend! I've got your back from here in blogland as many if the other ladies do. And please fee free to take me up on my suggestion behind the scenes if you just need someone to vent to!!

    Now, take a deep breath, put on a big smile, and tell those ladies what you think of them under your breath. Think happy thoughts while doing so. It will keep the smile on your face and a twinkle in your eye.

  10. sending lots of positive energy your way and hoping that you have a happy week-end despite the thorns in your side... Hugs