Once or twice a week, we end up having a conversation about ttwd in some way. To clarify, these are not Sam saying, "We will be having a discussion about this tonight." That's a totally different type of discussion, and I usually end up with a sore bottom. So this is real talking with our mouths, not the paddle. Sometimes we talk about what is going well for us and how we both love our new relationship. We never want to take that for granted. Sometimes it is something I have read, and we talk about the dynamics of another couple's relationship. What do we find negative? What do we find positive? Sometimes Sam may initiate the conversation with a question or comment or I might do the same. Finally, it may be a recurring issue that comes up from my anger or control in a certain situation. My SIL, Patty, comes to mind on this one.
I can honestly say that we both come out of these discussions renewed and positive. There are no disagreements. We both, in fact, seem to enjoy them. They are not usually planned - mostly spontaneous.
One night last week we talked as a result of a question Sam asked me. He gave me this question, "Do you feel I spank you enough or do you wish it happened more often - even daily?" I was surprised but pleased, too. It gave me a chance to speak from my heart about my needs/wants without seeming like I was trying to control. It
took a while for me to put my feelings into words, but I finally explained that for me some spankings could be very much like the other ways we stay close. The long embraces and kisses on the neck and sitting in his lap. I wanted spankings like that, simply because he loves me. I was not sure about what to call them. "Good Girl" just doesn't seem to suit us. It sounds like we are talking to our two female dogs. Maybe "Happy Spankings" or "Love You Spankings" might work. I also mentioned the 3 or 4 times when we have already had that kind of spanking happen along with lots of laughter. So much fun!
We also talked about what others call a Role Affirmation (RA)
Ella says, "I think we should......"
Ella says, "You need to do....."
Sam says, "Who's the Boss?"
Ella says, "Remember that you haven't...."
Sam says, "Who's the Boss?"
I know I need a lot of work in this area. Still lots of control issues.
Since this seemed like a perfect opportunity to put forth my spanking dreams and wishes, I added that both Happy and WTB spankings would be a lot more appreciated Over the Knee. Sam smiled and said he would take that under consideration. Then Sam's smile turned into a huge grin. Before you could say Jack Robinson, he grabbed the pancake flipper out of the canister and bent me over the kitchen counter. After I said, "Ow!" a few times and started to giggle, Sam pulled out a chair, gently took my hand and smoothly pulled me across his knee. And that, my friends, is why this blog is named Ella Ever After.