Friday, August 21, 2015

Sam Asks a Spanking Question

In an earlier post I wrote that when Sam first took up the responsibilities of HOH, he mostly had 2 types of spankings - discipline and erotic.  Discipline spankings happen for breaking one of our few rules, anger, or withdrawing.  Erotic spankings can happen whenever we are in the mood (or as often as possible, I say!)  Much later Sam started adding a few fun or happy spankings, usually after some teasing by me.  These don't happen as often as I wish, but I was glad they were happening at all.

Once or twice a week, we end up having a conversation about ttwd in some way.  To clarify, these are not Sam saying, "We will be having a discussion about this tonight."  That's a totally different type of discussion, and I usually end up with a sore bottom.  So this is real talking with our mouths, not the paddle.  Sometimes we talk about what is going well for us and how we both love our new relationship.  We never want to take that for granted.  Sometimes it is something I have read, and we talk about the dynamics of another couple's relationship.  What do we find negative?  What do we find positive?  Sometimes Sam may initiate the conversation with a question or comment or I might do the same.  Finally, it may be a recurring issue that comes up from my anger or control in a certain situation.  My SIL, Patty, comes to mind on this one.

I can honestly say that we both come out of these discussions renewed and positive.  There are no disagreements.  We both, in fact, seem to enjoy them.  They are not usually planned - mostly spontaneous.

One night last week we talked as a result of a question Sam asked me.  He gave me this question, "Do you feel I spank you enough or do you wish it happened more often - even daily?"  I was surprised but pleased, too.  It gave me a chance to speak from my heart about my needs/wants without seeming like I was trying to control.  It

took a while for me to put my feelings into words, but I finally explained that for me some spankings could be very much like the other ways we stay close.  The long embraces and kisses on the neck and sitting in his lap.  I wanted spankings like that, simply because he loves me.  I was not sure about what to call them.  "Good Girl" just doesn't seem to suit us.  It sounds like we are talking to our two female dogs.  Maybe "Happy Spankings" or "Love You Spankings" might work.  I also mentioned the 3 or 4 times when we have already had that kind of spanking happen along with lots of laughter.  So much fun!

We also talked about what others call a Role Affirmation (RA)
spanking.  Both of us really like the purpose of this kind of spanking, just not the name.  It's always fine with me for Sam to take the lead, but Role Affirmation sounds a bit too formal.  "Who's the Boss?" (WTB) might work better for Sam and me.  He certainly says those 3 words as a question to me often.



Ella says, "I think we should......"
Sam says, "Who's the Boss?"

Ella says, "You need to do....."
Sam says, "Who's the Boss?"

Ella says, "Remember that you haven't...."
Sam says, "Who's the Boss?"


I know I need a lot of work in this area.  Still lots of control issues.

Since this seemed like a perfect opportunity to put forth my spanking dreams and wishes, I added that both Happy and WTB spankings would be a lot more appreciated Over the Knee.  Sam smiled and said he would take that under consideration.  Then Sam's smile turned into a huge grin.  Before you could say Jack Robinson, he grabbed the pancake flipper out of the canister and bent me over the kitchen counter.  After I said, "Ow!" a few times and started to giggle, Sam pulled out a chair, gently took my hand and smoothly pulled me across his knee.  And that, my friends, is why this blog is named Ella Ever After.



15 comments:

  1. Ella,
    Great post! I love the Who's The Boss" title. So sweet.
    Meredith

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    1. Thank you, Meredith. I know you have seen part of this post before. You always help me sort out my thoughts.

      Ella Smiling at You

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  2. Hi Ella, nice post. I love Happy Spankings too!
    love Jan,xx

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    1. Hi Jan, I read a comment you left on another blog this week about Happy Spankings ending all too soon. I am hoping that this heart to heart with Sam will bring more happiness to my bottom.

      Hugs Across the Pond,
      Ella

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  3. Hi Ella!
    I love happy spankings too! They bring out a giggle or two!

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    1. You are so sweet, Minelle. I love when you visit. There are times when I get giggling so hard, that tears come to my eyes. I always wish I could bottle those wonderful times. They are the best.

      Hugs to you,
      Ella

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  4. just because I love you spankings are the best :-) Hugs

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    1. You are so right, Terps. I will say a little ttwd prayer that a Love You Spanking comes your way very soon.

      Ella Sending you a Hug

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  5. Hey Ella...thanks for sharing the fun...I do like the idea of WTBs. ;)

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

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    1. Hey back at You, Cat. Sam likes WTB a lot better. When I came in from work last night with a chip on my shoulder, the Boss knew just what was needed. Instant Attitude Adjustment. He likes a smooth weekend.

      We are blessed to have you, Cat!
      Ella

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  6. Hi Ella, I love Happy Spankings, sounds the best type to have and ending in giggles always . Not so sure about WTB though.
    Lindy x

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    1. Hi Lindy, Sometimes the giggles turn into big crazy laughter. Sam says he always knows that ttwd is right for us, because he has never heard me laugh and giggle as much ever before.

      Happy Spankings to You,
      Ella

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  7. Hi Ella, this made me smile :) Happy spankings are the best and I love WTB.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Hell there, Roz, you are up early this morning. I thought I was the only one writing comments at this time of the day. Glad I brought you a smile and that you shared it with us.

      I keep hoping that there will be lots more Happy Spankings now. Yes, WTB seems to be more Sam's style.

      Hugs to You!
      Ella

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  8. I think you are very lucky to have a man who "asks" you questions re TTWD. Although we are three years in, I still have a man who gets embarrassed talking about it, and I think that is a snag of having to keep it to ourselves. He still finds it quite hard to process the fact that "other people" do this and not just us. LOL!

    The time we talk about it most, is when I am OTK as it were. Whether the sight of my bottom turning pink enables him to discuss the topic, I don't know, but I do know that we've had some of our best conversations during those little skirmishes. I also find that most of our spankings these days can be likened to your "happy spankings", and to be truthful, I am fine with that! LOL!

    Hugs
    Ami

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