The other night, I was tucked up in bed reading and I came across a spanking article that was interesting and unique in some ways. As a spanko, I did not agree with everything the author said, but there was one passage that really made me start to think. Like a little seed, the question posed seemed to grow and grow in my mind. I decided this was also a perfectly good seed to plant as a post.
"If you could take a pill and not be a "spanko" person,
would you do it?"
Wow! I had never even thought about such a question. Since I really believe a spanking fascination was a part of me by the time I was five years old, I don't have much memory of being any other way. As a child I wasn't particularly ashamed of my interest/obsession, but I knew instinctively that maybe it was not something to share with others.
In my child's mind, it was just part of who I was. Like having freckles or loving chocolate ice cream the best, or being the oldest child in the family. I did have a secret stash of clippings I had cut out of comics or magazines and passages I had copied out of children's books. (Yes, Meredith, I do remember that line from Ramona Quimby.) I took them out sometimes and pored over them. Never worried about my mother finding them; she was a great mom but a terrible housekeeper.
So as a child I was fascinated but not frustrated. By the time I was 16, I think I was beginning to recognize that my intense interest was also linked to wanting to be spanked by a boy. Since Sam and I met when we were 15, this "boy" was Sam from that point on!
Obviously, he did not realize any of this at that time! Spanking would rarely come up in conversation, but I do remember several times when I clumsily attempted to goad him into spanking me. I seriously doubt he would remember an instance of this; he would probably have thought I was being a bit stupid.
I soon gave up on any hope that it could ever be a part of my real life. So if we return to the question, there may have been times in my young adult life I would have taken such a pill if it had been offered. In reality the fantasies did no harm to anyone. They certainly became linked in my psyche with sex and orgasm by the time I was 30. But the fantasies were very ritualistic; Sam was rarely part of the compelling stories in my head. By that time it was carved in stone that I would never tell any of this to any other person. Sort of sad, really, when I recall these things now.
Don't remember exactly when I discovered that spanking was a "kink" for some people. I do know that anything that included leather or collars was a BIG turn off. My fantasies were always more homey and personal. The spanking was always accompanied by love.
So let's jump forward to today. If someone asked me if I would like to take a pill and not have this desire to be spanked, I would most adamantly say, "No, thanks!" Now that I am having this need met, I feel like my life is enriched in a way that would not be possible for most women. They could never know this "high" I feel, and I actually feel a bit sorry for them.
On top of this, I have met and become friends with other women like me! This has brought me so much happiness and satisfaction that there is no way I could actually say thank you in a meaningful way.
Finally, spanking and ttwd has turned a good marriage into a relationship that has fulfilled both Sam and I in a way I could never have dreamed attainable. We have a window into each other's soul and the capacity to bring great joy to the person we love most in this world.
Of course, I am most interested to hear what you have to say about this question. Would you take such a pill if it were possible?
Your chance to speak from the heart.