Thursday, May 21, 2015

The Scales of Justice

I have been thinking about a subject for a post that centers on one of our rules.  The only thing is, it is not something I have ever seen mentioned on any of the blogs I've read, so I am a bit hesitant.  So was Sam when I first brought it up for discussion!  So here goes.

Controlling my weight has been hard for me my whole life long.  It's up - It's down - It's way up!  I have tried all sorts of diets, books, CDs, doctors, and of course, Weight Watchers.  How much have I lost?  Probably 500 lbs!  One night after falling off yet another diet, I burst into tears.  Sam was quick to comfort me as he always does.  After the tears slowed, I started to talk about an idea I had for being held accountable about my weight.  Sam objected immediately!

"No way!" he said.  "You are just perfect the way you are.  You are beautiful to me."  (I do love when he says that.)  I asked him to hear me out.  We curled up on the couch together.  I reviewed how I struggle with my weight and how my failures make me feel so awful about myself.  Sam was listening but still shaking his head like no - absolutely not.  When I continued, I changed course and started adding up how much of our money I had wasted on Weight Watchers dues and special foods and drinks and books and fat clothes and skinny clothes and who knows what else.

Yes, I finally had his attention.  MONEY BEING WASTED?  "Just how much money?" he asked and his brow furrowed.  So I estimated how much I thought had been wasted over the previous 18 months, because I didn't stick to it.  Any of you who have ever attended Weight Watchers meetings know that if you reach your healthy weight goal, you don't have to pay anymore.  Easy, huh?  Not really.  I had been paying for so long, they should have added on a memorial "Chubby Ella" wing to the building.

So a new rule was born that very night.  Every week after weigh-in, if I had to pay, then I was going to "pay" when I got home, too.  And these spankings were damn serious; we are talking hairbrush applied with gusto.  You can bet I stuck to my sensible foods and portions.  Six weeks was all it took to get back to goal weight.  Every Monday night we went over my food diary/tracker and discussed how I did.  I felt SO proud when Sam would gather me up in his arms and tell me how great I was doing.  And he still does.  He won't let me go any lower for fear his favorite target might get too small.

Before vacations, we set a certain number of pounds I can gain, so that I can treat myself to whatever foods I want.  But there is always accountability.  I have a certain number of weeks to get back to goal or there are consequences.  There are no more M & M binges  No more falling off the wagon just because there is another pot luck at work.  If we are planning to go out, I will actually plan ahead and drop a pound or two prior the the special occasion.  If we are heading to my favorite pub on a weekend, I can still have 2 pints of my special draft IPA.  So yummy! 

There are still times when I slide back into my old ways but not nearly as often.  When that happens it is entered in my journal, and Sam is there to decide if I just need a little encouragement to get back on track or a serious reminder.  Sam does not keep track of what I eat or drink.  I do and I have learned to manage my weight in a much more sensible way.

Never in my whole adult life have I maintained a healthy weight
for a year and a half.  My clothes fit well and I feel wonderful.  More than anything else, I have stopped hating myself.  It is the me I always wanted to be.  When people pay me a compliment about keeping the weight off or being able to turn down a piece of cake, I just smile and tell them I have an excellent diet coach.  I do not mention talking to Mr. Paddle.


  1. Hi Ella, this is one of the things we address over here too. I keep a food diary and hubby hands out consequences for bad habits as well as reward for good. It does help but I do have a biscuit failing :(
    love jan,xx

    1. Hi Jan!
      Thanks for the note. I was worried that I was the only one that had this problem. Also I didn't want people to think Sam was some kind of food dictator. I strongly believe that keeping a food diary is something that helps me. It goes with me to work each day.

      I know you refer to cookies as biscuits. Biscuits are different here. I only bake cookies for special occasions and make little bags for guests to take home. When Sam wants cookies for himself, he only buys ones that I don't like.

      Tell me about what your rewards are. Good idea!
      Hugs across the pond,

  2. That's awesome Ella! Congrats on the weight loss. I've lost a significant amount of weight since starting DD, we both have. I think the accountability does help! The best thing is just feeling good about yourself, so glad you do!


    1. Jennelle,
      Thanks for writing. You should feel proud, too. There is a woman I know who says, "There is nothing that tastes as good as feeling slim."

      Do you have a blog, Jennelle? I am still getting to know the people in TTWD circle. I love the feeling of just being myself when I am with you all.

  3. We are discussing how he best helps me with my health goals. I've wasted lots of money on Atkins diet, Weight Watchers, Medifast over the years. Really, it's just about being healthy! So glad you've found something that works and your husband can assist!

  4. Good for you this is an area I am struggling with right myself

  5. Hi Ella! This is something The Big Guy and I are working on together. He is trying to keep me more accountable...well, help ME stay accountable for my health of which, weight is an important factor. We want to be healthy for each other so we are together for a long time. I love that he is looking out for me this way. Years ago I probably would have been indignant but now that he is working hard at it I feel differently about it. His keeping an eye on me makes me feel good.

  6. We actually began spanking with me trying to lose weight. He too was reluctant to mix weight loss with spanking even though that's what I ask for. We finally settled on spanking for not exercising and not making healthy food choices. And it worked so beautiful - I lost forty pounds and looked and felt great. Then I stop trying and he stopped spanking and I gained it all back. My responsibility, but I sure could have used his help.

  7. Thanks for your comment, PK!

    I know that is exactly what would happen if Sam stopped paying attention. The food diary is also a way for me to stay accountable. All of a sudden, he will decide we need to look at that together. It better be up to date or there is a consequence.

    There was a serious reminder recently because I got into a bag of his peanuts. There hasn't been a toe out of line since. I really like your idea about making the exercise part of the package. It is too easy for me to make excuses for that.

    I am such a Cassie fan!