Wednesday, June 10, 2015

The Great Lowe's Spanking

Recently, Sam and I had to return some floor tile to Lowe's, and I was reminded of The Great Lowe's Spanking of 2014 while we waited in the line for Customer Service.  (BTW, I have a brother-in-law who calls it "Slowe's" instead.)

If someone asks me about the spanking I remember the most, it has to be the Lowe's spanking, hands down.  Last fall we were choosing materials for a bathroom remodel.  We had our old, dependable contractor lined up, and it was time to shop for all the pieces needed.  As Sam and I talked about our preferences, we formed a plan.  There were a few things we ordered online, because we knew we weren't going to find them in stores.  The big one was a shower head without a water restrictor.  I finally located one that was manufactured in Germany, and that made Sam very happy.  There were several places here in town that I went to for oddball items, but we mostly planned on ordering from Lowe's.

Sam does not like to shop or to be perfectly honest, Sam does not like to shop with me.  That's usually OK with me, because I do not like him with me if I am shopping for clothes and such.  I think it is the saddest thing to see a man following his woman around some store holding her purse.  I always think, "You poor slob."  BUT we usually shop together for big purchases - like a car or something quite expensive.  In that category, I would put spending thousands of dollars for home remodeling. 

After I had done all the choosing and color selection on my own with the help of a very patient man at Lowe's, I really did want Sam to come to the store with me for the final ordering.  He said that he didn't want to go on a weeknight and that we would go on the following Saturday.  I complained and made a fuss, because I thought we ought to get the order in ASAP.  He ignored me.  I was NOT happy at all and developed a "Never mind.  I will do this by myself!" ATTITUDE.  I went back the next afternoon after work and completed the ordering with all the measurements from the contractor.  I watched the nice Lowe's man punch over $5000 worth of materials into the computer and press the Order button.  I took all the paperwork with me and headed home.

The more I thought about it, the more irritated I was at Sam.  I was hot and tired, too  By the time I walked in the door, I had an major attitude and was only speaking in one word answers.  This is never good, but Sam stayed calm. I put away my work things and changed clothes (some banging of items here).  Sometime later Sam picked up the 4 or 5 page order and was looking it over.  He stopped when he got to the page with the dimensions for the custom shower pan and said there was an error.   >>>>>I just saw RED<<<<<.  There couldn't be an error,
because the order already went in!  Sam patiently explained that the drain hole wasn't positioned exactly right, because the drain hole in our subfloor wasn't exactly in the center.  I was so angry that I could hardly speak.  I tried to say without yelling, that all this would not have happened if he had come with me.  Even though the mistake was made by the contractor or the Lowe's guy, in my mind, it was ALL Sam's fault.  He did ask if I wanted him to go back to the store with me to sort this out, but by that time, I was way past being rational.  I grabbed my purse and the paperwork and gritted my teeth so I didn't scream.  The dragon was out of her lair.

It was still hot, and I was so angry that I swore and talked to myself all the way back to Lowe's.  After a long wait, we finally reached my salesman who had already gone home for the day.  He said that even though the order went into the Lowe's computer that afternoon, the custom shower pan and vanity top would not be sent on to the manufacturer for at least 24 hours.  All was well, and I surely wish that I had regained my composure right then.  I did not.  I drove home in the same angry state and stormed into the house.  I didn't say a thing.  I headed to my closet, and Sam followed.  He asked what had happened.  I said through gritted teeth that, "I took care of it.  Don't worry and leave me alone."  He turned to leave the room, and I slammed the door so hard that it is lucky I didn't break the mirror on the back of the door.

He was back through that door in less than a second.  "That's it.  Bedroom right now!"  He usually does not spank when he is angry, but this was the exception.  He grabbed my hand and pulled me after him.  Then out came the paddle.  "Get your pants down!"  At this point I was so mad that I just said, "No!  This is not my fault.  This is your fault. Blah, blah, blah.  If you had come...".  He was in control now, and he just stood and waited.  Finally, I realized that 

he wasn't mad anymore, there was just the Look.  His eyes were narrowed and one hand was on his hip.  I started to cry but did as he said.  He bent me over the side of the bed, and it began.

Sam chose a different paddle that night.  I knew that as soon as the first one landed.  As he spanked, he talked about my being pig-headed and stubborn.  How waiting until Saturday would have avoided all this drama.  How I was not being respectful to him.  How I better NEVER slam another door!  The spanking was the worst I have ever had.  My bottom was on fire.  I cried first because I was still angry, but eventually I knew that I had been horrible to him.  Then I really cried and finally understood that this spanking was exactly what was needed to bring me back from so much anger.  When I could say I was sorry, the spanking finally slowed.

When it was over, I just kept apologizing.  He just kept holding me.  Before we started dd, this fight could have gone on for weeks or maybe months.  I would have held a huge grudge and the dreaded silent treatment would have poisoned our relationship.  Sam would have returned the silence and would have distanced himself as well.  This kind of fight hasn't happened that often in our

lives, but when one did occur, there never seemed like there was a way to repair the hurt.  Spankings are like pressing a "Reset" button for me.  I calm down and I listen.  I can honestly look at how my actions/words just escalated a situation.  I can honestly admit I was wrong. 

My favorite place in the whole world is sitting on Sam's lap.  That night, even though I was very sore, I stayed on his lap for a long, long time.  I felt so incredibly close to him and so incredibly in love with him.  This man cared enough about me to see through my anger and take steps to bring me back to him.  After sitting there for close to an hour, he even made me smile.  Since then I have never slammed a door even a little bit.  And whenever I hear the Lowe's slogan: "Never Stop Improving", I smile and think of This Thing We Do.


  1. We just got a delivery from Lowe's this morning. Those re-set spanking are the worst...and the best.
    hugs abby

  2. I love this story too. Reminds me of some of my own hardware store skirmishes with my husband.

  3. Ella,
    We live between a Lowe's and a Home Depot. Now I am torn as to which one to go to with Jack. Which store had the slogan "Let's build something together" ?

  4. Oh goodness...that was some lesson to learn wasn't it but love the moral to the story. Thanks for sharing Ella.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

  5. Ella,

    Such a good story! It's amazing how our emotions can get out of control so quickly and then we are not even making sense any more! I'm glad your husband has a handle on you and won't let you go too far.


  6. It's funny isn't it ? I mean if I went anywhere by myself still ( which I don't..sigh..LOL) I could see this very thing happening in our house. The funny thing is, that the one who 'should' have been angry was Sam. LOL. Don't you just 'love' how the female brain is able to turn things around? Yeah, me neither! lol


  7. Re-sets really work, don't they? I am sorry for your bottom, but glad you both felt better afterwards. I am not a door slammer myself, but I usually upset the boat by throwing a pan or something at Dan's head, which when you consider it, is much worse.

    I'm not into these huge warehouse places very much. I prefer smaller more personal service. But I am not allowed to do any shopping of that calibre on my own. I never have been. We always have to reach an amicable agreement on what we want before we start out.

    What is a water restrictor? Don't like the sound of it. Love huge shower heads though. I'll bet your bathroom looks beautiful now it's finished!


  8. I love your posts! Every time I read one I think to myself, "are we the same person?" Lol! Oh my gosh, this story! And the picture of "the look" nearly had me giggling. We haven't had an argument in the house since DD really began, so I'm not sure what slamming a door would do for me. Pretty sure I don't want to find out! I would have reacted the exact same way about the entire thing...from getting mad and handling it all myself, to getting even MORE mad, having an attitude, and talking to myself on the way back to the store, all the way to the door slamming. A long time ago this would have ended as a stalemate between you two...isn't it wonderful that it doesn't end like that anymore?