Thursday, February 25, 2016

The Commandments of TTWD

Recently, I caught myself answering Sam with my hands on my hips.  Didn't even realize I had assumed this pose.  It wasn't until I saw his eyes narrow a bit, that I was conscious of what I was doing.  I quickly dropped my hands to my side and repeated my point in a much less aggressive manner.  It was over so quickly, I do not even know if Sam would remember.  There was no verbal mention of it.  Certainly, this does not happen as often as it used to.  Later I thought this incident might be indicative of a subtle change for the better in me.

I wondered if this was a case of psychic ttwd.  Have we developed
a silent dominant/submissive dynamic that requires no words?  Can I now read Sam's thoughts and adjust my behavior to correct myself?  Or is it that idea that our body language is as important as what we say?  Can you read your HOH's mind that way?  Then what about when you combine body language and certain words?  Does that turn into a "Double Dog Dare" situation?

This exchange between us made me think about some of the body language, stances, gestures, or thoughtless words that can lead to
trouble in a ttwd relationship.  I mean, honestly, these things caused
problems way before ttwd and could easily bring on an argument or angry words.  Whatever followed this type of blunder was not a constructive or loving way to interact with each other and severed any connection between us.  Like a bell at a boxing match - Ding, ding, ding, and we both came out swinging.

The following commandments are not exactly carved in stone, but breaking them can surely result in a not-so-divine retribution from your HOH.  

1.  Thou shalt not speak with your hands on your hips. 

2.  Thou shalt not point your finger in his face while talking.

3.  Thou shalt not roll your eyes.

4. Thou shalt not cross your arms in front of your chest when listening.

5.  Thou shalt not interrupt with, "Yes, but I think...." when he is speaking.

6.  Thou shalt not say, "FINE!" and leave the room.

7.  Thou shalt not start any discussion with "You need to _____."

8.  Thou shalt not swear during a serious discussion.

9.  Thou shalt not "Flounce." (def. - to go or move in an exaggeratedly impatient or angry manner)

10.  Thou shalt not answer with "Whatever" or "Seriously?"  

11.  Thou shalt not respond with "Nothing" to the question "What's wrong?"

12.  Thou shalt not slam a door.

13.  Thou shalt not snap your fingers to hasten any task!

No sermons here.  Just some wisdom to share with you all in an effort to prevent any of these heinous ttwd sins.

One More Commandment Just for Happy Spankings-

Thou shalt not laugh at him during a happy spanking, unless you wish for the spanking to become a lot harder and go on a lot longer.  Which, of course, could be exactly what you are hoping for.

Your turn.  Have you broken any of these commandments lately?  Tell us your story.  Do you have a commandment I have left off?

Thursday, February 18, 2016

If You're Going to Kick Ass, You Need Kick Ass Shoes

In any season of the year, I enjoy shoe shopping - or maybe I should say shoe hunting.  It is the thrill of the chase for me.  And the reward is bagging a beautiful pair of boots, sandals, ballet flats, wedges, or peep-toes (alas, true high heels are not possible any longer.)

Just Love Red Flats!

Just High Enough
At this time of the year when winter drags on and on, I begin to lust after sandals.  Sometimes, I am happy to just fondle the ones I have.  I remember a favorite line from an old movie titled Private Benjamin.  Not a movie I would ever watch again, but I always loved Goldie Hawn's line as she bemoaned wearing combat boots, "I just want to wear sandals!"

Probably should review here that one of Sam's hard and fast rules as HOH - shoes may not be purchased with a credit card.  This is a
very good rule for me.  Before dd/ttwd, shoes were a very sore subject between us.  I guess they could still be a very "sore" subject occurring on my bottom if they ever appeared on a credit card bill. 

But I have never been spanked for breaking that rule.  There is a certain amount available to me to spend as I wish, and I have not slipped from grace even once.  Ha!  That makes me sound like a "Goody-Two-Shoes!"  Pun intended.

Anyway, I received an Amazon card as a Christmas gift and bought sandals 2 days later.  I had gone to a shoe sale after Christmas and found nothing on sale I wanted.  Mark that on the calendar, Ladies.  It does not happen often.  However, there were a gorgeous pair of sandals I tried on , and I knew then and there that someday they would be mine.  Dark taupe T-straps with very sexy little zippers on the back of the heel.  That "someday" turned out to be the same day.  Found them on Amazon cheaper and proceeded to Checkout.
On the monitor, I read:

                              "Thank you for your order, Ella!
                           We know that you truly deserve these
                                        beautiful sandals."

These Are the Ones!

Problem is, it's still winter!  You know - snow, ice, slush, sleet, arctic air, scraping windshields, bone-chilling temperatures, heavy
gray skies, howling winds, bleak and barren.....  So lately, in the mornings, I put on my winter office wear and then walk around the house in my new sandals until it is time to leave for work.  Then I tenderly say good-bye to my sandals and put them back in their new home on my shoe wall.  They have lots of good friends there.


Three years ago I even declared a new holiday called, "Sandal Sunday."  If this isn't yet listed somewhere on the spring months of
your calendar, let me explain.  It is a "floating holiday" as it comes
on the first warm Sunday of spring.  You need to assemble moms,
daughters, sisters, daughter-in-laws, granddaughters, nieces, aunts, cousins, and dear friends.  Everyone meets for lunch and then everyone buys sandals!  We have a route about town to hit all the favorite stores and shops.  What if there were an entire mall that was nothing but shoe shops?  But, I digress.  Anyway, this holiday is quickly gaining in popularity.  My sweet niece emailed me the other day to ask if Sandal Sunday was on the docket yet.

My addiction to shoes started at an early age.  I loved going to the shoe store.  Shoe stores even smell nice.  Sounds daft but I have always believed that shoes smile at me.  The most memorable pair of shoes came home to me, not in a shoebox, but in the big pockets of my dad's corduroy coat when I was 9 years old.  I went to give him a hug, and he pulled them out of his pockets and placed them in my hands. 

Up until then my good shoes were just the standard Mary Janes.  But these....omg.  They were brown patent leather with a beautiful buckle on the toe.  And.....wait for it......they had a tiny little heel!  I just remember squealing because I was so happy.  My mother was getting dinner and glanced over to say, "She's too young for those."  Dad just smiled, and I knew his decision on this would stand.  There was more than a bit of HOH in that man.  These shoes were not to be worn with those dumb anklet socks!  That would be so wrong!  These would be only for tights.  And a shoe-a-holic was born.

Now, so many years later, I can't wear heels anymore.  It's that
damn "age" thing.  I still have a few pairs, and I sometimes just have to put them on.  Maybe I cannot wear them out the front door, but Sam still enjoys them in the bedroom.  I used to do theater, and my favorite director was a lovely gay man who always called them "Fuck Me Pumps."  On or off, in the bedroom, these heels usually do the trick as far as a sexy Ella Ever After spanking.

My whole life I have admired story characters and their famous shoes.  Didn't you always want to wear Dorothy's ruby slippers or Cinerella's glass ones?  What about Carrie Bradshaw's Manolo Blahniks?  What's not to love?  They look just perfect no matter what size your ass is.  And speaking of that, there are 3 "S" words that contain zero calories, and for that I am very thankful.

                                  Sex, Spanking, and Shoes. 

              Please tell me about a pair of shoes you have loved.  

                                         Remember This

Friday, February 12, 2016

Hearts and Memories

The other night, Sam and I were discussing what we might want to do for Valentine's Day.  Of course, there could be surprises, but this year I think that might take the form of small presents and cards.  It will definitely not be a trip or anything expensive.  We both have our sights set on a much bigger vacation in September!  Don't think we are even going out to a restaurant.  Just planning an intimate day to ourselves with some special choices for a dinner we will prepare together.

Our talk got me thinking of other Valentine Days.  Sam and I have
been together for a long time now.  We have been valentines since we were 15 years old.  High school sweethearts and lots of memories.  I remember a high school dance and a corsage for my dress.  Dancing close.  One Valentine's Day Sam gave me his class ring to wear on a gold chain around my neck.  We were "going steady," and that was high romance for sure.

Going farther back, I was all about creating a masterpiece valentine mailbox with an old shoe box and reading over and over each and every card I received.  I recall choosing my own valentines was a huge decision.  Favored cowboys or Disney characters.  When I escaped Catholic school and started 4th grade at public school, there was a real Valentine's Day party!  Cookies and cupcakes and punch.  And I loved when my dad would sing me 
                                  "My Funny Valentine."

 Jump forward to "First comes love, then comes marriage.  Then comes Ella with the baby carriage."  I remember helping my boys with their valentines before they could even print.  Baking cookies for parties and being "Room Mom" some years.  I didn't work when
the guys were small, and we were used to being broke for many
years.  There was one Valentine's Day when I really wanted to take the boys for lunch at White Castle.  I actually had $1.72 left until Sam got paid.  The little one and I picked up big brother from kindergarten and went "out on the town."  They each had a burger and split the fries and soda.  I had a cup of coffee.

There was one year when I won us a fancy dinner at a posh
restaurant from writing a risque Valentine poem for a radio contest.  It was a rock station and the morning DJs were bawdy to say the least.  I do not remember the poem much at all except that it had to do with a paternity lawsuit.  They thought it was hilarious.  The dinner was worth more than the fabric for my wedding gown.

Once the kids were both in school all day, Sam and I used to arrange what we called "executive lunches."  If we could both sneak away from work for a whole hour, we would rush home for some crazy fast love-making before tearing off to return to work.  We called it an "executive lunch" because Sam had a suit on , and I loved how he looked with it on and with it off.

One Valentine's Day I was sure to beat him home so I could arrange a surprise.  I had cut out 100 red paper hearts and arranged them in a path from the front door to the bedroom.  Carefully drew little red hearts on the insides of my legs and sat up on the bed splayed out in red panties and waiting for my valentine.  Sounds pretty cheesy now, but  being poor can inspire one to be creative.

When I was teaching, Valentine's Day was always called "Friendship Day."  My parties were renowned.  They started at 9:00 am and lasted until 3:30 pm.  We had math lessons with boxes of little candy hearts.  Reading included stories of friendship and silly poems.  Love letters to moms and dads and grandparents.  Besides exchanging valentines, we watched Milo and Otis, my favorite friendship movie.  You may be appalled, but there were tons of snacks and sweets.  I never minded the kids amped up on sugar once in a while. It was fun in small doses.

I think of life now in terms of "Before ttwd" and "After ttwd."  Valentine's Day in the bedroom is a lot more exciting with ttwd than before.  The spanking happens all over the house - only limited by Sam's imagination.  Last Valentine's Day, he got us a leather razor strap.  That one can be fun or not, again depending on Sam's mood.  Our
toy drawer is full of choices, and I really have no idea where we put Sam's sweaters.  Just never looked back.  There is also a dynamite red and black corset along with black stockings in that drawer.  While I no longer care about flowers or jewelry, a thoughtful card is still very nice.  I am a huge Shakespeare fan, and pretty words are always appreciated.

               "Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind.
                   And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind."

                          from A Midsummer's Night Dream
                                       Act 1, Scene 1

Although I am not a Shakespeare expert, I do believe those lines written in iambic pentameter could be interpreted as,

                               "It's fun to do it blindfolded, too."

                        Here is wishing each one of my readers 
                          their own happy little "Ever After" 
                                     for this day of love. 

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Ella's Winter Meme

Not only do I love to do memes, I think I love to write them, too.  The ideas come to me at the oddest times.  Been working on these for several months.  Hope they spark things up a bit - feels like we all need something to get us through to spring.  Here we go!

1.  You have to leave your house because of a disaster.  All the people and pets you love are safe.  If you could choose just one item to carry out, what would it be?

It would have to be our box of old photos.  Family and friends, the old ones, the little ones, and the ones gone now.

2.  Tell us about a book or series of books you loved as a child.  

There were so many!  All-of-a-Kind Family, The Bobbsey Twins, The Borrowers, Nancy Drew.  I still have several with my name printed at the front.  I remember days when I would start a new book and never stop until I was done.  Did you ever read by flashlight under the covers?

3.  Name one item of clothing that you love for your spouse to wear. 

I adore Sam in a navy suit, pale blue shirt, and suspenders (or braces in the UK).  I have a "thing" for men in suspenders.  In the City district of London with all the business men in braces, I was in a constant state of heat.

4.  Is there a lullaby your mom or dad sang to you that you also sang to your child?

My dad used to sing us a depression-era song called "Bread and Gravy."  I also sang it to my boys when I tucked them in at bedtime.  With my brother and sisters, I sang it for our father at his funeral service.

5.  Tell about the fanciest restaurant at which you have ever dined.

Friends in London took us to Simpson's on the Strand.  It was so elegant I could hardly breathe.  The carver wheeled a silver cart to your table with all the meat on it - huge dripping joints.  I chose lamb.  One friend had put 2 pound coins in my hand at the last minute, because I did not know that you were supposed to tip the carver when he came to the table.  Such food!

6.  Tell us about any phobias you have. What else are you scared of?

Definitely have claustrophobia.  When I was a child, elevators scared me because I was crushed once.  I am better now but will not get on a crowded one.  For the last MRI I had, it took 2 Valium and one of my sons to hold my hand the whole time.
I think I have already mentioned I hate snakes!  Only time I ever almost hit a student.  He thought it was so funny as he came at me with a 6 ft. bull snake.  Luckily I was rescued before I hit that kid in the head with my purse!

7.  Is there something old from a family member that you treasure?

I have 3 items from my grandmother that mean the world to me.  I wear her wedding band on my right hand always.  I also have a thimble and her sewing box.  I used to play under her sewing table when I was small and remember having my dolls live in it. 

8.  If there is reading material in your bathroom, what magazines or books could be found?

Sort of an eclectic mix.  You have a choice of garden and porch books, London picture books, or World War II magazines.

9.  Tell us about your dearest childhood friend.

She was a bouncy little Polish girl.  Her last name was impossible to spell.  We were inseparable for years.  One very hot summer we spent building dollhouses in my basement.  (It was cool down there.)  She and I also took tap dancing together, but only S. was any good at it.  I sucked.  We were both very good at ditching Sunday School, though.

Note: I again have a lovely, bouncy Polish girl for a dear friend!

10.  Is there a household task that belongs to your husband?

Yes, Sam is in charge of the grocery shopping on Saturday mornings, although I usually make a trip to the Farmer's Market for the fresh produce.  It helps if you can show him what the package looks like.  He loves finding the HUGE size of something even though there are just the 2 of us now and we have a small fridge.

11.  Have you ever smoked pot?  How old were you the first time?  Do you still enjoy?

I was so ignorant and naive about weed when we were in college.  Once when we were invited to a professor's house for dinner, someone started passing a joint around the table.  I reached in my purse to pull out a pack of cigarettes, all excited to help everyone out.  I said, "You guys don't need to share.  I have plenty of smokes."  Sam just whispered in my ear to shut up and he would explain later.

I have tried pot several times over the years, but I never seem to feel anything.  If I want a buzz, look to see me sipping a good IPA.

And This is a Very Good One

12.  If it is cold, what do you wear to bed?

Hate being cold in the winter!  I bundle up like an Eskimo when I go outside, and my idea of pajamas is knit pants and shirt along with very big socks.  If Sam is in a lingerie mood he knows to turn up the heat or it's just not going to happen.

13.  How old were you when you lost your virginity?  Share any story with which you are comfortable.

I have always wondered where the idea of "lost" came from.  Think instead of what you found!  We were both nineteen and away at school for the first time.  It was just Sam's dorm room, but it couldn't have been more special if it had been the Waldorf.  After that, I knew the nuns were all wrong about sex.

14.  Think of something you did as a kid about which you were glad your parents never found out.  If you were a perfect child, you may just respond with "Perfect", but the rest of us will hate you for it.

The manhole covers were removed to do some work on the storm sewers.  Down by the creek, we found the huge storm sewer pipe that emptied there.  We decided to crawl through it all the way back to our street, about 5 blocks.  I was so scared but refused to let anyone know. The circumference of the pipe kept getting smaller and smaller.  Remember the claustrophobia I spoke of!  What a dumb thing to do!  I was positively shaking when we crawled up the ladder and back out.

15.  Boob Question - 
Think Goldilocks and the 3 Bears.  
Do you think your boobs are: 
a.)  Too big
b.)  Too small
c.)  Just right
d.)  "All of the above" is not a valid answer.

My answer is "a" because I do not like being big on top.  It is very heavy, and you have to buy a larger size of shirts almost every time.  Obviously, Sam is not going to agree on this answer.

           Looking forward to reading all of your answers now!  
                  That is the fun part of memes, my friends.