This idea came to me one night after a really delicious "Just Because" spanking. We don't ever call it a "good girl" spanking because we have 2 female dogs. At our house, "Good girl!" will have both dogs sitting prettily by the Pup-Peroni container and salivating profusely.
Anyway, lately Sam likes to say with a devilish smirk on his face,
"Just Because I can and Just Because I love you."
What compares to that first beer after a long day at work? That would be a "Just Because" spanking from my dear husband. He unzips my pants and slips his fingers along the sides of my panties to slowly slide both down together. He will arrange me over his knee and start with just rubbing in circles. Sort of hypnotic - I can start drifting off to my happy place before he even starts spanking.
- Cares of the day - Gone...
- Thoughts of chores - Gone...
- Dreading next SIL visit - Gone...
Sam will always tell me how pretty my bottom is. Happy place is getting closer. JB spankings are almost always with his hand, although, of course, this is an HOH decision. He is just so damn good with his hand now; it amazes me! He says his hand used to hurt some but not any longer. Both my bottom and his hand have trained hard. If there was an Olympic event for spanking, we could compete, I am sure.
Hard to describe why this is the best spanking of all, but I think the sting builds up slower and it lasts longer, too. Yummy! Sam takes his time. I cannot even tell you what he says, but he is almost always talking, and I love that. I am usually opening the door to happy place. He can also "read" me now. He knows if I am not making any noise, then he might step it up. If I am not squirming, he is being a "wuss." (I actually said that once. Never again.)
OK, so if you are a spank-loving woman, this is all sounding like a perfect evening. I agree. It is! What's the one thing that could destroy this picture of domestic bliss? I will tell you in a hot minute.
IT IS NOT THE SAME IF I HAVE TO ASK!
OMG, I just hate that. Not sure if you all feel the same as I do, but, for me, having to ask spoils everything. If I have been needing his attention for several days and he hasn't noticed, I can quickly adopt a pissy attitude. I do not say the lines below, but I am certainly thinking them.
- Well, if you don't care enough to think about it yourself, then just never mind!
- Or...It will be a cold day in hell before I ask, mister!
- Or...Just go watch your silly cop show and good riddance!
This scene can sometimes precipitate a sudden reverse and turn it into addressing a snotty wife situation. Therefore, I might end up Over the Bed receiving my comeuppance. Definitely not as desirable as JB spanking, but shouldn't I still be happy. Isn't a spanking still a spanking? No, it is not.
I still had to ask. Again, I say, "NOT THE SAME." So really there is a "sub space" out there and mine includes Sam being dominant enough to initiate the spanking. Otherwise, there is a key component missing.
Occasionally I struggle with how to bring a thoughtful post to a close. This one wrote itself. As I was gathering my ideas down on
Platitudes From Ella on JBs and BJs
- What good for the goose is good for the gander
- You will reap what you sow.
- What goes around cums around.
So remember all you lovers out there-
Love Means Never Having to Ask
Hi Ella, this made me smile and I had to giggle at your comparison of JB and BJ. I agree, a JB spanking is the best kind and it is not the same if you have to ask.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz
I think every couple has its own designation for this kind of spanking. The point is, "Please let it be your idea!"
DeleteHugs From Ella
Not the same...I totally agree...I was really enjoying your description of the Just Because Spanking and then the reality hit - you are not alone in your thinking for certain. All spanking are not created equal. It means so much more when you do not have to ask. (Not saying I won't ask - desperate times call for desperate measures) but the very idea and dominance of him deciding is part of what sparks my fantasy. Thanks for sharing and giving me a smile. :-) hugs
ReplyDeleteIt is comforting to know that I am not alone in my thinking on this subject. Asking for a spanking equals "Meh." The dominance is the key.
DeleteThanks for you thoughts on this, Terps.
Ella,
ReplyDeleteGreat post for sure! I get upset if Jack is all about not noticing what I need. "Not the same" is exactly what I feel. I like the truth in reaping what you sow. So very true. I love a "just because" spanking every single time.
Meredith
Your praise always elicits a big smile, Mere. For a whole year now you have kept me dead honest about the way ttwd works for Sam and I. It is always a surprise to learn that others feel the same as I do.
DeleteElla Staying True Blue
You're so right, Ella, "just because" spankings are the best. I've seldom needed to ask but it's definitely not the same.
ReplyDeleteRosie xx
Lucky woman, Rosie. That man of yours knows how to get in your head. I wish I understood why it has to be his idea, but when you get down to it, it doesn't really matter. Just be the man!
DeleteHugs Across the Pond,
Ella
Hi Ella, great post, These definitely are the best sort of spankings, lovely
ReplyDeletelove Jan, xx
Of all the comments today, I am most glad that some "just because" spankings are back on the table for you. So happy that you are feeling frisky again!
DeleteHugs to Celebrate,
Ella
Thanks Ella, he is back in swatting form too!! lol
Deletexx
Hi Ella,
ReplyDeleteLoved your post. I have to agree with others - "Just because" ones are the best.
Love,
Ronnie
xx
Thanks, Ronnie. I love when you visit. Guess we just have to hope they learn to read us a little better every day . Otherwise, it ends up a "Catch 22."
DeleteSending Hugs and lots of Love,
Ella
Exactly! I used to compare it to kissing.There is nothing wrong with asking for a kiss occasionally. But if it never seems to occur to him on his own, if I have to beg for a kiss then just forget the whole damn thing! Now he will often initiate little one, but rarely anything over a swat or two. I feel torn, one part of me would like a real barn burner, but the other part says just forget it.
ReplyDeleteI guess there is the psychology angle to the whole thing. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. Seems like we have stepped so far away from the instinctual roles that we were meant to have, that we have to relearn who we are.
DeleteThanks for your wisdom, PK. I always learn something. No wonder Tom is so attractive. Cassie never has to ask! I know. It is a story.
Doesn't Hurt to Dream,
Ella
LOL Ella...is the Spanking even held in the Summer or Winter Olympics? Will there be different events for hand vs paddle vs belt? Sending lots of positive thoughts that you get all the JBs you could possible want and that Same gets all the BJs he could possible want. ;)
ReplyDeleteHugs and blessings...Cat
Ha, Cat! There could be a series of spanking events - wood, leather, etc. With this group the competition could indeed be international. The training part would be ever so nice.
DeleteHugs From Ella
So true, great post. Just because HE wants to. You're right, his dominance, his decision (for me) is the most important aspect.
ReplyDeleteLove the JB > BJ connection, works very well indeed. He might understand that one although I seriously don't think he minds asking either so long as it happens!
You nailed that one, Janey. "...his decision" is the most important. That just melts my heart.
DeleteIt's kind of like praise. If you have to "fish" for a compliment, it is not nearly as satisfying as having someone thinking of it themselves.
Ella
What a wonderful post...I love your style of writing, and your train of thought. Your JB spankings sound wonderful...and I have to admit I thought of the BJ connection even before you mentioned it...like minds...Asking, not sure it ever gets easy.
ReplyDeletehugs abby
You really made me smile, Abby. I should have known you would be the one who would think of the JB and BJ flip! Hey, whatever works.
DeleteHugs From the Heart,
Ella
Such a great post and I think you hit the nail on the head (smiling). Asking is never easy.
ReplyDeleteOh, Sunny! I laughed so hard at this dirty little pun. Count me as a fan of your humor as well as your books.
DeleteElla Still Giggling
I hate asking too. And when you "ask" without asking the spanking isn't the same either. Like the thinking on JB and BJ!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Clara
Exactly, Clara. The absolute best is when the spanking comes out of left field. I just think of it as another way Sam can say, "I love you."
ReplyDeleteHugs From Ella
Just because spankings are my favorite too. I don't mind asking every now and then, but I agree it's much better if it's something he initiates. I find my imagination contemplating what a spanking Olympics might be like! ;)
ReplyDeleteHi there, Lilli. Have I told you how much I love that name? Just don't like the asking. It is like if you had to ask him to get you a birthday present. NOT THE SAME!
DeleteSending Hugs,
Ella
A JB that you don't have to ask for means he's paying attention!
ReplyDeleteWelcome, Cygnet,
DeleteI am so glad you have given me a comment today. I love to know that something I wrote touched a chord with a reader.
Yes, a Just Because is to be treasured. I think you are right. Maybe part of its charm is that he is trying to read me and know what I need.
Thanks for your Visit,
Ella
Great story Ella. Love the "just because" spanking. It's caring and thoughtful, he's thinking of you obviously and that is so loving.
ReplyDelete